Update

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I haven’t been on the site or posted in awhile. I’ve been having a rough go at it for the last year.

I got deeper into the process of testing. The urologist could tell me it’s happening, I’m wetting myself and having bladder spasms, but not why.

I moved on to a neurologist and based on the testing, they are saying I have demyelination and CIS, and it appears I am on the path to MS.

Before all of this everything in life seemed so great, but now it’s been 2 years of spiraling.

I am definitely a burden and it sucks.

 

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Not sure what to say to your situation except you are welcome here to vent and share experiences.

Glad you got some medical eyes on the situation.

I've been concerned as you sounded very miserable last heard from.
You are among friends here.

 

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A burden to whom? How? Sometimes, a bit of creative thinking from someone who is not as intimately involved in one’s own issues can be helpful.

 

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ER,

I know not all here are, maybe not even yourself, but I am a Christian (Catholic) and believe in the sanctity of life, from conception until natural death. Based on that, you are NOT a burden. I know it is easy to feel like that, but imo, God makes us who we are and won't give us more than we can handle. He also uses life to shape us and if we use life experiences and allow them to mold and transform us into who we are meant to be, then even the sufferings we go through can be for our good, especially if united to His suffering during His passion and crucifixion, then even experiences can be for good.

In any case, we all go through things in life, especially as we get older. The things we go through don't make us a burden, but allow others an opportunity to be there for us and 'give back' or 'pay it forward', as at some point, we all need help!

Just my opinion and it's probably worth less than 2 cents, but for what it's worth! He is with you through it all and that can be a great consolation, if you allow it to be... Pray through it all and do what you can do and let Him handle the rest. The old saying is, “pray as if everything depends on God, and work as if everything depends on you.”

I know it is easy to get down, get depressed and wish things were different, but... don't lose hope! God has GOT you! Things will get better... one way or another. I always pray not for a specific thing, but that God will make things better and leave the HOW and WHEN up to Him...it will only be in His time and He usually has a better solution than I have anyhow!

Just didn't like reading that you felt like a burden...that really bothered me. This may just be your time to need help and others time to help. They will all need help at some point... You should help others when you can. To me, that is what being a Christian is and what life is all about!

God already knows our needs, yet He expects us to ask. He wants us to pray. When we put our needs into words, we put our needs into His hands. We let go. We trust. God not only hears our requests, He promises to answer them — in His perfect timing, in His perfect way. Jesus tells us, "Your Father knows what you need before you ask him" (Matthew 6:8b), then reminds us, "Ask and it will be given to you" (Matthew 7:7a).

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
James 5:16b, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." (NIV)
Romans 12:12, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." (NIV)

Not sure how I would have gotten through all the negative times in my life (and there have been plenty) without my faith and my HOPE in Jesus Christ. I think without Him, I would surely despair...

Hope some of this helped!

+God+bless+

 

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Dear ExploringResources -- Thank you for your post. You are more than welcome here. We all have our crosses to bear. We will not be given more than we can handle. I know that sounds surprising, but it's true! There is a woman living in my mobile home park who overcame M.S. I'll have to touch bases with her.

 

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@ExploringResources
Thank you for sharing your situation and how you feel. It is NOT a burden to read about your troubles. My first thought was a verse from a song I learned many years ago: THANK YOU FOR THE VALLEY I WALKED THROUGH TODAY. IF LIFE WERE ALL BLESSINGS, THERE WOULD BE NO NEED TO PRAY. SO I THANK YOU FOR THE VALLEY I WALKED THROUGH TODAY. IF LIFE WERE ALL SUNSHINE, THE FLOWERS WOULD DIE; THE RIVERS WOULD BE DESERT, ALL BARREN AND DRY, IF LIFE WERE ALL BLESSING THERE WOULD BE NO NEED TO PRAY; SO I THANK YOU FOR THE VALLEY I WALKED THROUGH TODAY.

Another song I love is: IT'S NOT EASY ROAD WE ARE TRAVELING TO HEAVEN, FOR MANY ARE THE THORNS ON THE WAY; IT'S NOT AN EASY ROAD WE ARE TRAVELING TO HEAVEN, BUT JESUS GUARDS AND KEEPS US AND LIGHTENS THE JOURNEY...and lightens every heavy load." Mr. Google/YouTube/ has some good copies of this.

 

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@ExploringResources
Good Morning!
A good day to count our blessings and all the things that have gone right. I thank God for running water and for buttons to push that heat or cool our house. (We didn't have any of those things when I arrived in 1934.) We're not at war (not yet). Let's thank God for five things and do one thing today for someone who needs it. What is the one thing you can do today that will help your situation? Do you have a penile clamp and do you carry it with you?

Dear God,
Please help me to change the things I am able to change, and to accept the things I cannot change....and wisdom to know the difference.

 

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@iuwogeo @DanCarr Please remember, religion offends many of us here and doesn’t belong on this forum. You’re very arrogant to assume the person you’re speaking to isn’t Jewish, Muslim, Bha’ai, Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, etc. NOT EVERYBODY BELIEVES IN YOUR RELIGION and you’re so rude to assume they do! We’ve talked about this over and over again on this forum. You should never assume someone is religious like you are. You shouldn’t speak to someone about religion unless you are positive they themselves are also religious AND the same religion you are. Keep that stuff to private messages.

 

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Regarding religion I don't see anything wrong in sharing the emotional tools that sustain us whether it be doggedly pursuing science or a faith based approach to getting through the day.
If it works for you, that's great.
Proselytizing or judging one another for a different approach to life challenges I personally don't think are apropriate.

If someone wants to indicate that by praying for another they are sending heartfelt goodwill it doesn't matter to me what the context is. Wanting to give good is good and I will gloss over if not to my taste.

 

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Wow.

 

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If people are hjelped by religion, prayers whatever - that is fine! People are following different religions, some use meditation, yoga, relaxation techniques - all is good.

But using the forum to promote your religion or technique or diet - that is not ok. I have been to other forums and it is like - do this and get cured. I don’t think it is like that at all, but strong will and mental balance can help everyone - so I don’t challenge the impact your religion have for you - but don’t push it on others.

 

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@Maymay941 it doesn’t matter to YOU if someone is sending you prayers, but it definitely matters to me. That’s what I’m saying; you can’t just decide that you are not offending somebody when you are not that person.

@Allan_59 Exactly. Proselytizing is an egregious sin. I don’t tell anybody else to be an atheist just because I’m an atheist, so don’t cram your Christian/Catholic beliefs down my throat. If you want the freedom to worship freely and have your own beliefs and religion, then it’s only fair that I get mine as well. Keep your religion to yourself.

This is a forum about incontinence. It is not a Christian nor a Catholic forum. There are an endless number of those if you want to go talk about praying there. Go to church away from the forum.

 

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@snow So true! Nothing to add

 

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@iuwogeo @DanCarr Please remember, religion offends many of us here and doesn’t belong on this forum. You’re very arrogant to assume the person you’re speaking to isn’t Jewish, Muslim, Bha’ai, Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, etc. NOT EVERYBODY BELIEVES IN YOUR RELIGION and you’re so rude to assume they do! We’ve talked about this over and over again on this forum. You should never assume someone is religious like you are. You shouldn’t speak to someone about religion unless you are positive they themselves are also religious AND the same religion you are. Keep that stuff to private messages.

@snow,

First, I'm not sure if English is your first language or not, but maybe you need to not be so 'offended' that you forget to read! The very first thing I said was, "I know not all here are, maybe not even yourself, but I am a Christian (Catholic) and believe in the sanctity of life, from conception until natural death." I knew you were not a believer, Snow, from past experience on this forum, so that opening sentence was for your and others benefit - however, you nor anyone else except maybe an actual forum administrator will stop me from sharing my beliefs, prayers and well-wishes for others, even for you Snow, on this forum. Fortunately, you don't make the rules here, no one made you boss and I will not be bullied by the likes of you into remaining silent. I didn't send what I said in a private message because what I said may also help others, even if it doesn't help you! You need to put on your BIG GIRL panties (padded or not), build a bridge and get over yourself! I wasn't even talking to you! Maybe your response offended me, but I still think you have a right to say it - just don't think that what you say is Gospel and expect the rest of us to obey your commandments, just because you are loud and proud!

Second, I didn't assume anything (see the paragraph above...)

Third, no one is trying to cram anything down your throat, make you believe anything or push anything on you. You have a right to believe anything you wish or disbelieve anything you wish - you will find out if you were right soon enough! We all will. I never said that everyone should believe what I said - only that it was what "I" believe and offered it in hopes that it might help. You don't get to decide if it did or not.

Lastly, I get that you are 'offended' and that you don't like reading about religious beliefs and principles - I don't like reading about some things that you and others have shared. I also understood that you and others had a right to say it - I didn't come on here all offended and try to bully anyone into never bringing it up again. As others have said, you need to gloss over what you don't like and what doesn't help you and understand that it may be helping others. Snow, you are very opinionated, have a strong will and personality, which can be a good thing, but not when you try to use it to dictate your likes and dislikes on others - either here on this forum or elsewhere.

Snow, you and I have had good conversations and liked many of each other's comments in the past - we definitely don't agree on this one, but I still wish you the best!

+God+bless+

P.S. @Maymay941 - Thank you!!!

 

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@all

Maybe this is a moment we always hear about when two people with opposing views can discuss something they either agree or disagree with and find a way to do it without offense to anyone. We are all here with a common problem and should work together to help and comfort others and feel welcome. I have found a lot of benefit from reading all posts here. Thank you for everyone who has taken the time to share embarrassing and painful stories.

 

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I agree Klew11 but I think any further discussion should be done in a separate post.

 

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The administrators will be making the decision.

 

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@Snow
Ok, Snow. I get it and respect your right to push back when offended. I apologize for my disposition, but not for my position. From my own experience with incontinence, and from several testimonies shared on this forum I know that two of our problems are discouragement and depression. Incontinence does that to some of us. I need to be in contact with someone bigger than me.

If you are complete and adequate within yourself, that is your right and no one should stand in your way. Thank you for letting us know how you feel. I am willing to agree to disagree with you on the prospect of there being a higher power that can help us in our time of need.

When I had Guillain Berre', paralyzed, in pain, my eyes crossed and was seeing double when I looked at anything, one day in my desperation, I cried out to God and suddenly two pine trees I was looking at became one pine tree. When my wife came home from work, she immediately saw that my eyes were straight. God does not heal every sickness. This is the master verse on prayer in the Bible: "This is the confidence that we have in Him that if we ask anything according to His will, He heareth us. (1John 5:14-15.) With this, I've said enough. I wish you the best.

 

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@DanCarr I respect and am happy for you seeking to religion to give you strength. I think my position to religion is personal and I think it is irrelevant in a forum like this. I hope to not escalate the discussion - I think we should calm down, but I feel for supporting @snow.

I am new in this Forum and I see that there is a long history - but as I understand snow, I think she is frustrated with this as there are many who are pushing religion on others as a potential cure. I have been exposed to that many times - and I don’t like it.

What I do think is that mental wellbeing and training is important, and if your religion is an important part of your personal fight - go for it. But that should not be pushed on the rest.

You talk about depression and discouragement. I think we all can feel that to some degree in periods. One thing that drives me crazy is the many diets, cost supplements or pills that magically “cure” our problems. Many of them completely undocumented. Being exposed to a hole lot of do this or that to be cured - is adding to the frustration and depression - there are just to many options, cures AND religions.

So I support @snow, keep to incontinence in the forum and religion and diets in other forums.

 

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@Allan_59 Thank you very much. I know there are others on the forum who completely agree with you and I, but who are not currently saying anything. They are people who have vocally shared in my frustration in the past.