To hold or not to hold?

[Archives1]

Well said themochi. And forsure you need to focus on what you need to do in order to control your autoimmune disease. Myself I have relapse remitting multiple sclerosis so that is also the cause of my incontinence.

But it is what it is and I just have to make the best of each day.

 

[Archives1]

I am 78 y.o. female with a number of health issues and probably the one that causes me the most angst is lack of bladder control. I can't fully empty my bladder and have to self catheterize 4 x a day. I have to wear pads because I can't control my bladder. One of my doctors referred me to a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor problems. I had tried Kegel exercises without success. This woman is teaching me diaphragmatic breathing. She also advises me on diet and medications, even how to eat - chewing for example. I think it is going to help but it is going to take consistent work on my part. She has also offered electric stimulation but I am trying the pelvic floor exercises first.

Ask you doctor or a urologist if they can refer you to a physical therapist who treats pelvic floor disorders. If it will work for me it should work for you.

 

[Archives1]

@sarah060486

This whole thread definitely resonates with me. While doing some reading, some urologists say don’t pee in the shower (not that I can always help it) but with the idea that you need to try and treat the condition in a way that promotes getting better and avoiding dependency.

Some urologists even urge against wearing protection, because then you become dependent on it.

My issue has been going on for a year and half at this point, it wasn’t until this time last year I finally saw a doctor, but as it’s progressed it literally felt like my body was reverse potty training, and when I’m home I have this debate on what and how I should treat it similar to your original post.

I’ve definitely gotten to the point that I am starting to feel naked without a pull up during the day, and at night I can’t even fall asleep if I haven’t put on nighttime protection, with it positioned properly and secure.

I fear my body has created a dependency, beyond my general leaking and need for protection in a way that I can’t function emotionally.

Early on I posted here about the humiliation of being diapered, and my personal frustrations with the AB/DL community fantasizing about my medical condition, but here I am less than a year later not being able to sleep or function right without the security and protection.

I don’t know what the right answer is for you, and I don’t know what the right answer is for me, but I guess it all comes down to preference. Some people have accepted their fate and others have not.

For me personally I still desperately don’t want to need protection the rest of my life. I’m in my mid 30s and I want to live normally without incontinence and the emotional traumas that are being inflicted on me from this condition.

Best of luck.

 

[Archives1]

I realize this is an old thread, but it pointed to an interesting topic. Will the use of protection enable you to relax and have fewer accidents and less pain?
My experience is that it definitely help. My OAB has most of the time only resulted in urgency - not so many accidents, but the fear of not having a clear and fast route to the bathroom makes my issues much worse. My worst daytime incontinence has been related to IBD and diarrhea - and I realized that I managed much better when I started wearing diapers. An accident went from being mentally catastrophic to serious. And it gave me a feeling of coping with my symptoms - I was actually proud of myself to manage things in my life that would have been impossible without diaper. Just think of driving - if you are desperate not to have an accident, you are not a very good driver. You need to pay attention to traffic and driving. If you can’t concentrate you should not drive! So my experience is that wearing protection calmed me down and resulted in fewer accidents and better life.

 

[Archives1]

I know the feeling of hold or not to hold. I’ve tried to go without protection on occasion.
When out, it definitely makes for more restroom visits.
Some nights I feel that I can go to bed without a diaper. I almost always experience discomfort and sleeplessness, maybe even my starting to wet. Wet underwear, pajama pants and bedding is a pain.
I found that some urges can occur really quick, even before I can get unzipped and so on. So, when I can hold, I hold and when the urge is to strong, I let it go.
At night I just found it better to wear a diaper. Pull-ups never perform well at bedtime for me.
Admittedly there are many nights I wet my diaper without waking up, while at other times I might wake up to pee, but I just use my diaper for the simplicity or convenience of it.
It prevents me from disrupting my wife’s sleep, stirring up the dogs and it beats getting up multiple times.
Then there are nights when it’s difficult getting back to sleep as well. The discomfort of it and not getting enough sleep isn’t healthy.
I swear there are nights that I am in a mild state of sleep when I start wetting and then fall asleep before I’m finished voiding.
Call it what you may, relying on the diaper is the right decision for me.

 

[Archives1]

I know the feeling of hold or not to hold. I’ve tried to go without protection on occasion.
When out, it definitely makes for more restroom visits.
Some nights I feel that I can go to bed without a diaper. I almost always experience discomfort and sleeplessness, maybe even my starting to wet. Wet underwear, pajama pants and bedding is a pain.
I found that some urges can occur really quick, even before I can get unzipped and so on. So, when I can hold, I hold and when the urge is to strong, I let it go.
At night I just found it better to wear a diaper. Pull-ups never perform well at bedtime for me.
Admittedly there are many nights I wet my diaper without waking up, while at other times I might wake up to pee, but I just use my diaper for the simplicity or convenience of it.
It prevents me from disrupting my wife’s sleep, stirring up the dogs and it beats getting up multiple times.
Then there are nights when it’s difficult getting back to sleep as well. The discomfort of it and not getting enough sleep isn’t healthy.
I swear there are nights that I am in a mild state of sleep when I start wetting and then fall asleep before I’m finished voiding.
Call it what you may, relying on the diaper is the right decision for me.

They do make absorbent pajamas https://www.amazon.com/stores/Pjama/Homepage/page/88B091B1-6BC2-437A-8339-63379EF088A8

 

[Archives1]

I realize this is an old thread, but it pointed to an interesting topic. Will the use of protection enable you to relax and have fewer accidents and less pain?

For me this is true! Wearing adequate protection takes away the need of being always aware where the next bathroom is, if it's near enough to reach it if an urge hits, it takes away the pain which comes up if I try to hold an urge - so, yes, I'm much more relaxed and enhanced my quality of life dramatically as I once accepted my IC and decided to go with absorbent enough diapers (and decided to use them without any shame and hesitation if no toilet is nearby). Diapers give me the freedom to live my life in nearly the same way than before my IC started!
There are some other questions coming up with going this path - you could have the feeling to be just too lazy to sprint to the toilet, you might ask yourself if you could allow yourself to use (sometimes) the diaper although you theoretically could make it to the bathroom, I asked myself if it's Ok to sleep diapered (and use it) instead of getting up 6 to 8 times a night sprinting to the bathroom (often without success) and fail to get enough deep sleep - but I decided that the only one who is allowed to judge me is myself - and as long as I (and my wife) feel confident with how I prefer to manage my IC everything is fine!

 

[Archives1]

Sarah,
I know that I commented earlier, but I was just revisiting this post and your concern about level of protection, and sometimes urge to let it go.
I agree with many replies and agree with OnTheWater comment.
Test and go with what’s comfortable.
But, know this, “do not fear the diaper”

If you wake up uncomfortably wet with a pull-up w/ booster, then obviously what you used doesn’t work.
Maybe some nights, but not guaranteed for tomorrow night..
I suggest you at least give them a try.. what can that hurt?
Dry bed and pajamas win.
There’s a bunch of quality full tab style diapers out there on line to order. Cloth or disposable.

My suggestion is don’t ever go to light. Especially at nighttime.
Like so many others, myself included, we’ve all been there.
As you’ve read from others, years of experimenting, accepting, and ultimately finding good solutions and the best relief in a diaper vs. pull-up.

You might find that full diapers are more comfortable than pull-ups, work better and fit better. They are.
I personally found that at night, most times I sleep right through a wetting. And if I wake up with an urge, Let it go.
Disruptive sleep is bad for your health.

Easier said than done, right?
Poof! Stigma gone. Full diapers work.

Kind regards,
Joe

 

[Archives1]

In my situation the question is more like … “to protect or not?” I’ve tried days of going back to ordinary underwear if I’m at home especially during summer and fed up with the inconvenience of changing . even yesterday morning and ended up wetting clean underpants immediately after going to the loo. My problem happens mostly like this after I’ve been to the bathroom which I can’t choose to hold or not .Usually it starts with an erratic flow which makes it difficult not to overshoot and wet the bathroom floor and trying not to strain at the same time after it stops .Sometimes it’s just a few damp spots after refastening trousers but sooner or later on a toilet visit a big wet patch extending down the legs wetting either trousers or during bathroom trips during the night half asleep into pajamas . It’s not a question of “if” but “when”and I still risk it most nights in just pajamas or shorts because it gets hot and uncomfortable wearing a nappy in bed . It’s not so much the quantity but the frequency which is the issue for me or the times during the day if I don’t feel the urge to go yet realise with little warning that I’m nearly or already started to dribble myself .I kid myself that maybe the problem has resolved itself during dry times or that I’m a hypochondriac to be then reminded of the reality by not just a slightly damp ,but a wet nappy after a few bathroom trips that it’s not the case. The dry periods are a false sense of security for me.

 

[Archives1]

I remember quite vivid - with beginning of my urge IC - how uncomfortable damp underwear felt on my skin: cold, clammy and itchy. The first Tena pants I bought (and put on) was such a good feeling - even with usage never feeling damp or wet, the liquid was saturated immediately in the core of the padding, the skin stayed dry. In fact, as my IC got worse, I had to switch to more absorbing solutions, but I prefer a proper protection much, much over wet and clammy underwear (or a wet bed in the morning)! Even now in the summer with wearing breathable cloth backed diapers which allow your skin to breathe (and of course no plastic pants!!)I feel quite comfortable!

 

[Archives1]

100% agree with you Hbic60 the untold relief/joy when one chooses to use protection. And if one has properly aligned their protection with ones needs true relief. I remember when I finally made the choice I truly underestimated how much it was stressing me out.

Be true to oneself, you deserve it. Otherwise the only person you are letting down is yourself. ;

Cheers

Jason