@Vettesfan86 Welcome! I agree with everything the others have said. This is a mostly great group of accepting people. You may speak openly here and your questions will be answered with love. You can talk about both fecal and urine incontinence; both are welcome here. I am glad and you are lucky you found us quickly; unfortunately it took me three years to find this great forum. Nobody pays us to say that it’s great, either, lol!
Bring it up with your M.D. ***ASAP*** and preferably a urologist, proper. If you can’t get in fast to your PCP or a urologist, go to an urgent care clinic, like within days, not even weeks, and definitely don’t wait !months!
You must be somewhat used to talking about your bowel problems, no? Urine is no different. M.D.s are very used to incontinence, though that doesn’t mean they always have answers. If the first urologist isn’t helpful, keep going, find another one. Do all the tests they recommend. Try the medications. Try the most simple procedures they offer you before complex surgery. But definitely do get it looked at quickly - *definitely* do not wait until March; it can be a sign of cancer and you might not have that much time to address it.
For example, in late August my ex-husband, the healthiest, fittest person I know, started experiencing inexplicable rectal bleeding and pain. He went to the ER. Within 10 days they knew he had terminal rectal cancer; it had already spread through his lymphatic system and liver. With a diagnosis like that, every hour, even, can be a crucial chance to get ahead if an outcome like that. He has less than a year to survive, and it’s only with endless chemo that he is alive right now. Turns out that kind of cancer ran in his DNA. There you go. You never know what’s creeping up on you. Getting checked out is far more important than any ego you may have about the issue.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy to talk about, either! That is why you must write down your questions now, and quickly. Brainstorm. It is also important to take somebody with you if you can, if there’s anyone you can open up to about what’s happening, like a parent or grandparent or a sibling or a romantic partner. Take them with you so that there are two sets of ears listening (that is good advice for anyone at any age with any medical condition). You will have a hard time listening and remembering everything the M.D. says because you will be anxious. You could also have a severe UTI, which can kill you pretty quickly - like, a week(s) if left untreated. People don’t always have the painful-type symptoms of a UTI before it gets very serious. You could have MS, which would also need to be diagnosed and assisted with immediately. Start keeping a symptom journal immediately. Start writing down how frequently you pee. Look for blood. Note any pain. Also keep track of what you’re eating and drinking. This is definitely what they will tell you to do, anyway, so you might as well start now. If there is any way you can start peeing into some kind of measuring vessel, your doctor will also be very keen to know about how many ounces you are peeing, and when. If you have a measuring cup, just start using it, you can get another one for food/drink tomorrow at the grocery. This will give the doctor a big headstart when you are first seen. I wouldn’t even bother seeing a PCP about this at all; I would go straight to Urologist. If you don’t no one, then I would ask the PCP for a referral, then cross-reference that referral with online reviews.
Don’t worry too much, though, there are many of us here who have never been given a reason for their incontinence, because none has been found. Most of the time, it isn’t something that serious. Sometimes, unfortunately, it just happens. But it is important to at least rule out the big bad things pretty fast. Think about it common urine and feces are the primary way your body is constantly getting rid of waste, and if that waste isn’t being removed properly, it can really backfire.
I will forewarn you that a doctor or an insurance company is not going to be the one who talks to you about what diapers, bedpads, or diaper cream to use. That is us!
Have you had any recent falls or injuries that may have bent your spine, even slightly? Fallen off a bike? That kind of damage can lead to the condition I have, called Neurogenic Bladder. I basically have every obnoxious bladder symptom that exists, but by far the worst for me is that in my particular case, my brain no longer receives the messages to quit releasing urine when I’m sleeping. So I wake up all the time to pee have a really hard time getting back to sleep, then wake up again, repeat. Most nights I have a wet diaper. Similar symptoms can even have been just if you are accustomed to slouching in your chair while at a computer. You could be damaging your spine and nerves.
Some people here have become incontinent recently because of long-haul COVID. Not much is being done to research it, but it’s real, because multiple people here from multiple countries have had that experience. It doesn’t happen right away from COVID, either. Even if you only have a light case of COVID, you can end up with permanent bowel or bladder incontinence. And it might not show up for months and then worsen over years. We have one member here for whom that has proven to be true.
Also, though they certainly take a while to get used to emotionally, diapers are your best friends, just like a pair of eyeglasses. They will liberate you. Depends are “enough” for some of us who aren’t fully incontinent, but for many others, they need something more expensive and heftier, that can only be ordered online. Sometimes an insurance company will pay for your incontinence products. If you are using Depends like I do, use the supreme “Night Defense“ line. They are by far the most absorbent in that brand and have the best external backing. There are tons of posts here that recommend the various different products. Also, waterproof bedpads (available in disposable or reusable) can be crucial for sitting on furniture, a car, or being in bed, if you have any nocturnal leaks.
You may also need some sleeping medication to help you get through the night if you wake up every 20 minutes like I and some others here do.
Incontinence realllllllly sucks, but the concept does get better with time (like, years, not weeks or months), I promise. I’m 45 and became incontinent at age 37 after falling down a 20-foot-cliff on my a** while snowboarding, bam bam bam bam bam, and permanently severed my lumbar discs and thus, most of my nerves to my bladder. In my case, it wouldn’t have helped me at all to have gone into the doctor earlier than I did. It took about two weeks for my first bedwetting incident, then it gradually got worse and worse over the next year until the nerves were totally dead, which takes time, even though they can’t do anything to slow, halt, nor expedite that process. The bladder problems were so hard for me to admit to myself that I didn’t talk about it with a doctor until eight months, and then I dillydallyed and didn’t getting into a urologist for almost 1.5 years. My case was diagnosed with an MRI. The first thing they will do is a bunch of lab work for you, and an ultrasound, probably even the very first time you are seen. They have microscope‘s in their office so that they can diagnose a UTI right away, but only a few urgent care clinics have that, no PCPs have that, but every urologist does. See, much better to go straight to Urologist.
Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and anything else stimulating like the plague. For some people drinking cranberry or cherry juice also helps. Try to drink the unsweetened versions.
That is all I can think of for now in the middle of the night.
Oh yeah, reach out to @ThatFLGuy. He is active here. He is about your age as i recall and has both fecal and bladder incontinence. He has had major bowel surgery and is likely facing an ostomy soon. I think you’ll have some things in common.
Keep us posted, please!
