Struggling with OAB and IBS and wearing protection

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Quick background: As a kid and teen I wet the bed every night until an older teen ~17. The night wettings slowed down at that point, and became virtually non existent by the time I was 20. As a kid my parents refused any type of absorbent product thinking it would encourage the bedwetting. A year and half ago (age 35) night wettings picked up, and had become pretty regular at least a couple times a week. I did go and pick up some pull-ups which didn't help and eventually found myself back in full diapers at night. I didn't bring it up to my doctor at that point. Last spring I started having OAB symptoms and a few times peed my pants trying to hold it. At this point I brought my doctor into what was happening since never had day time issues before. He prescribed oxybutnin which I have been taking as prescribed for the last 6 months. Still wetting the bed near nightly. The oxybutnin gives me extremely dry mouth and causes me to drink a lot of water, which is good as that has been a lifelong struggle of mine, except I am now urinating a full bladder amount very frequently but not having the urge with no urine. Since I have begun wearing a full tape on diaper at night I have had a couple of issues with BMs. Three times at night I have awoken to being in the middle of a BM. Usually feels like it has just started to come out and if I was in normal underwear I probably could get onto the toilet in time, but with a diaper on it is smooshed around from the start. I brought his up to my doctor and had a colonoscopy done recently that came back pretty normal with a small polyp and scar tissue from intestinal surgeries I had as a child. From talks before with the gastro I believe that when I see him again he will say it is IBS related to the intestinal disease I was treated for as a kid.

At this point I barely trust myself to be out of a diaper, but then I feel like a fraud wearing them because although it would take alot of restroom visits throughout the day I feel like I could use the toilet 90% of the time. But if I were to go unprotected I would be running the risk of an accident, or have a panic attack if out in public unprotected from fear of an accident.

I am seeing my primary care doctor tomorrow about an unrelated issue, and he knows that I have been having some issues but I am terrified of going into the doctor's office wearing a diaper that could be argues is unnecessary.

At what point did you determine diapers were necessary for your situation? Am I moving to fast with this?

 

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When you are ready for them, the time is right. Don't let them tell you what's right for you.

 

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When you are ready for them, the time is right. Don't let them tell you what's right for you.

Thanks. I don't feel ready for them,I did decide quickly to wear at night not wanting to relive the miserable experience of wet sheets nightly like when I was a kid. Beyond that I am not sure if I am making a decision based on needs or convenience. Sure I need them because I have had continence issues, but do I really need tape on diapers all day? Should I be trying to go without during the day more? Is it bad that after a BM starts without warning that I let it complete before rushing to the toilet? I wish I trusted myself more with making decisions.

 

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As your symptoms have been evolving in recent months (or is it weeks?) I would suggest you can expect things to continue to get worse. What you wear during the day may be dictated by embarrassment, or too many close calls, or fear. You have to decide the criteria for your own timing. One thing you may not have considered is how many people that you wouldn't voluntarily tell will find out if you have an accident, or worse, multiple accidents? Are the people in your work and social circles trustworthy or are they likely to cause you grief if they see you having an episode? Not everyone who wears full protection (i.e. a tape-on fitted brief) has problems as often as you do. It's really a matter of how thick is your skin? Would rumours floating around your place of employment bother you? I work in an environment where no one employed there would be the kind to make fun, but I still haven't told very many people at all. I switched back to 24/7 because my problems were getting worse again and I had already tried all the other options open to me- pads of various sizes and absorbancies, pull-ups, belted undergarments etc. I'd already been at the extreme end of available products and going back to tape-on briefs was a solution more than a last resort.

 

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I have limited contact with others thankfully. I work from home and my closest family and friends are 100 miles away. I am mostly in my own home alone. For the most part I wear a betterdry at night. If it is not wet in the morning I keep it on until I have to have a BM or it is full. I then switch to Abena M4 during the day,after having a BM if needed. I try to keep soiling myself to an absolute minimum, however if it starts while I am wearing I let it complete since cleanup at that point is basically the same.

Do most people that wear diapers 'choose' to release their bladders?

I have less qualms about wearing at night because I have no choice in the release of urine.

During the day I could probably make it if I were to inconvenience myself many times throughout the day. Instead of needing to constantly put an away notification up on my accounts and taking multiple unscheduled breaks, this makes me feel ashamed or guilty or something like that.

*I am sorry if anyone is offended by my post. I am not trying to attack anyone, but instead am trying to work through my own BS.

 

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I don't release my bladder, but I don't have much in the way of advance warning- as soon as I sense the urge, I am usually not going to make it to a toilet. On the occasions that I'm close enough to try, I'm already losing urine by the time I have everything undone, and then it becomes messier. I also don't experience spasms or any other form of pain. I always assumed that painful spasms would be cured if one wasn't trying to hold it in, but I've never asked anyone if that is the case.

 

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I don't have much warning. I do get a sudden full bladder kind of pain. Before the oxybutnin it was usually fake news and just a few drops after straining to get them out about every 45-60 minutes, With the oxybutnin I am still getting that sudden full bladder pain, about every 75-90 minutes. I work in a call center environment and 'phone state's is an important concept. Your phone state needs to match your scheduled time, and statistics of phone length, after work time, and all of that is tracked. If you are out of compliance it goes against your personal statistics. Stats have to be in value to keep a job. I definitely could inform my employer of what is happy and be allowed to be in a specific state to use the restroom as needed and not have it go against me. Problem is I would need to disclose the reasoning for needing accomodations to my scheduling. That makes me nervous. My bathroom is upstairs so it takes several minutes by the time I get up there and back to my desk, as well as the fear of being caught on a super long call at a bad time, but I would be the only one to see it I guess if an accident happened.

I just wish I could see through the gray better.

 

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For me, the right time was when my incontinence reached a point where wearing pull ups and nappies made my life easier. If it helps you, it’s the right time. I know it’s easy to agonise over because of the stigma but at the end of the day, you’re the one having to deal with the accidents, not your doctor. It’s not their call to make.

 

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@Rowan123 Thank you. My doctor has never tried to pressure me into anything. I just like you said, am agonizing over of I am making a 'mature' decision, it if I'm giving in to the problem to easily by wearing all the time. My doctor told me last spring that it was up to me if I wanted the medication it to wait and see where things went, and wear something absorbent in the mean time. I took him up on the medication but still finding myself wearing sure to the amount of water in taking in.

 

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As Rowan and others have stated, only you can make the call as to what is right for your individual situation. I don’t think your Dr. Would like to be cleaning your bedding, clothes, furniture etc. for those times you don’t make it. The only things I would advise is to be careful with the anti-cholinergic medications, they are one of the first medications with a warning directly connected to Alzheimer’s disease. Another thing I might mention is many of us have zero control over when our bladders release and over time the bladder often shrinks in response to not being stretched regularly. So if you set a timeframe that you can use the toilet on your own and not cause disruption then do so. If you can’t make it you’re covered.
Best of luck!

 

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I had my appointment and my incontinence, or my wearing never came up.

 

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Hi. A lot of what you wrote resonated with me. I also grew up wetting into my teens. Then it died down for a few years, only to come back with a vengeance, day and night. Like you, I was reluctant at first, but I eventually took the plunge and went into diapers full time. It took some getting used to at first, but it is what it is.

Like you, I also live alone, have a very small circle of close friends, and I work from home. It does have its advantages. I'm not worried about people noticing anything, and I can wear what I want. There are times when I can make it to the bathroom, and I try to, other times I think I can make it but I can't, and even times when I just give up -- mostly if I am sitting in my recliner, and don't want to climb the stairs to the bathroom on the second floor.

I wish you luck with whatever you decide. It is a process to be sure. I don't post much, but you can get some really good advice here. My one advice is not to be ashamed of your body and any problems you may have. For me, diapers are like car insurance. No one plans to have an accident, but its good to have insurance just in case.