struggling with incontinence mentally

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UPDATE:
It seems to be getting better, i'm just changing 1 to 2 times more than usual (usually 3-4 times a day). I'm still not really happy about it, it's still really getting to me. I'm trying to manage stress like most of you - and my doctors - and my therapist have mentioned, its difficult but i'm working on it.

Hi @christy4, Stress could very well be a possibility and we all have stressful moments from time to time. And that's especially true now. But since you say you are clinically depressed do you see a therapist on a regular basis? If not, it might be a good time to consider one, if one is available. I know during this pandemic that's easier said than done but it may still be worth finding out.
But it would be good to tell a professional about what you're feeling and even just talking to someone qualified will help you feel that someone cares and that someone may be able to offer you other alternatives. And I wonder if your medications are still doing what they are supposed to do. Depending on how long you've been taking them, it may be time for a medication "tune up."
But please know we are here and open 24/7/365!

yeah, since covid I haven't been able to go for therapy consistently, not due to the lack of trying though. My doctor did end up increasing the dosage, i guess there was some improvement, but it's complicated, little bit out of topic of this forum i guess.

One thing I did want to ask is it possible you have IBS? If you are having bowel problems, have you seen a gastro doctor?

I actually have seen one, I don't have any of the symptoms of ibs, it's straight up loss of any feeling or control, i have both bladder and bowel issues, but bowel issues are probably more noticeable for me, and i always almost change because of a bowel accident. ( i dunno why i call it accident as if i can prevent them lol)

 

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No worries. From what I’ve seen on here nothing is off topic if it is remotely related. If it is relevant for you it matters.

 

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Hi @christy4, definitely not off topic since you are really concerned about this and are looking for some good answers. If I were you, I'd try to go to therapy on a more consistent schedule if at all possible. I know this covid thing is a real pain and I wish we could relegate it to history for once and for all as soon as possible!!
And in your position I would try to be persistent in re-establishing yourself with the therapist. And being clinically depressed it will be good to have that one-on-one human contact which is so important. I would go for continued contact with your therapist and maybe ask if there's a cancellation for the therapist's office to call you and squeeze you in. In the meantime just keep "working on it" as you mentioned. Improvement may not happen overnight but if you keep after it you may notice a gradual change for the better.
But for now, we are here and this is a good place to vent.

 

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Hi! Christy4! Not off topic - it is something many of us face due to incontinence. How about holding therapy session with via Zoom? It isn't like being there in person, maybe, but still good. It's just so good to have any contact, these days, and definitely safe.
I'm far enough from town that it means if I need doctor appointment that doesn't require my presence, Zoom makes it possible to be "there" in 5 or 10 minutes, to fill a concellation, which the Doc likes. She checks up on me that way, it takes less of her time, and it really feels like face-to-face. And the nurse does everything but take Temp, BP, check my meds haven't changed, etc. I do BP & Glucose at home, anyway, so I just read it back to her.
Couple of months ago, the surgeon showed me the MRI. Just as good as being there - and my screen is bigger than his notebook computer.

 

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I am doubly incontinent too. A suprapubic catheter and bowel evacuations on alternate days make accidents infrequent for me. I'm not sure these would work for you but it would be worth asking. My incontinence was caused by a spinal injury which holds both my urethra and anus closed except when opened by an intermittent catheter (as I had for a few months before getting a suprapubic catheter) or when the nurses poke their fingers up my bum.
Maybe it would be worth asking about an indwelling urethral catheter (a thin plastic tube up the penis). I have never had one so I don't know whether it would be as uncomfortable and inconvenient as it sounds but it could be removed if it is.