BGH, much going on and some great experience based info has been shared.
I am 11 weeks out from Robotic Prostatectomy, all above related to incontinence and after effects are accurate. I am 62 and was ill prepared for the after effects, reality of incontinence was brutal for me for a short time as I was ill prepared from a knowledge perspective making my expectations out of whack. Everyone is different and we all heal differently. At 5 - 6 weeks out I was a wreck because of my incontinence because I was ill prepared. Finding and participating in this association/website/message board was a tremendous help. To this point I have made strides with incontinence which have been very helpful physically but more so emotionally. I made a trip to Florida from CT over the weekend for a family wedding, something that I would have thought impossible a month ago.
Trust in your Docs and patience are your key, it will be tough to be patient but you will get better. Work diligently on your kegel exercises and I'd recommend, based on my experience and if your are able, to go to PT for assistance with your kegels to make certain that you are performing them properly as this will absolutely speed up your physical recovery.
Good luck with surgery and remain patient.