Scared of what the future holds for me

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This is going to be a bit of a read so I apologise. I just turned 34 a month ago, have always had a strong bladder, never had any sort of accidents or bed wetting issues except for the very rare occasion of drinking too much and passing out. I'm a female if that's matters any, have been married for 2 years and I have been having incontinence issues the last almost 6 months months that seems to be getting worse.... It started with wetting the bed at night. At first it was just once or twice, but then became more frequent, to then being every night. To make matters worse it has started happening during the day now as well,and has been for about 2 months. Sometimes I don't realize I have to use the bathroom till it's too late, and other times it starts happening before I even realize it, and when I do realize it's happening, it's completely too late.. I've being to so many doctors appointments to try and figure out why this is happening, but pretty much everything has been ruled out. I'm going to a urologist the 28th and 29th to see about getting more in-depth tests. I'm scared, confused, frustrated, and getting really depressed. The sad thing though is I was told many years ago that incontinence caused by nerve damage could be a problem in my future. Same with muscle deterioration. Both of these causes are lasting effects some serious illness that almost killed me. Nearly died twice and was put in a medical induced coma in order to treat at and keep me from dieing. But I didn't think it would ever really happen, and if it did, wouldn't be till I was way older than my mid 30's. But here I am, a month after turning 34 Scared to sleep, making myself dehydrated because I'm scared of the outcome of liquid intake, hardly eating,super depressed and having wetting accidents like a 4 year old. I have been having to do laundry all the time, had to put a waterproof protector on my bed, and last week while bailing my eyes out had to buy the kind of thing you wear to keep you from being wet. If it does turn out to be damage of either kind, than there's nothing I can really do about it but learn to deal with this, because surgery is sadly out of the question. I'm on the plus side of things so trying to figure out what fits me well is becoming a pain. I still have some control, but I'm scared for how much longer. Please someone tell me this gets better... I'm terrified my life I enjoy is over. It's hard enough

 

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It will get better,keep doin your exercise daily 3 times a day,it could take for some patience a year to 18 months but days do get better,don't get discouraged,I'm 69 and I'm just happy thanking God that my cancer stayed in my prostate it didn't go out of it so I decided with the advice of my specialist to remouve it completly,better days are up ahead

 

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@Zora Please hold on and be patient for the medical test.

There are several ladies that will be able to comfort you and speak about your circumstance. It may take a day or two for them to post.

We welcome you to the group. You have found a great place to help along your journey. Know that you are not alone. I can relate to being scared and afraid. The people here will offer advise and hopefully comfort.

 

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Hi Zora,
Hang in there okay? I was freaked out to when it started happening to me too.
The urologist should be able to help. In the mean time, there are allot of plus size absorbent products out that work great. Maybe lookup Northshore Incontinence on Google? Great folks and their products are great. Prices are decent too and they deliver in unmarked boxes.
The stores have xl size ladies depends and they do okay but may not be what you need for your specific situation.
For short term they work okay for several folks but if you talk to Northshore they can probably help you find something that works great and is comfortable.
Things will get better and this is manageable at the very least. Wishing you success with your struggle and a Happy Holiday & Merry Christmas.
Kind regards,
Jim in MD

 

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Zora, you are understandably depressed and confused. Lets just hang in there together one day at a time for now while this gets sorted out. Holidays are whirl of memories and expectations so this issue, we will just keep it simple for now.
You should probably contact northshore company to discuss the best size and style adult underwear product for you. They have all sorts of sizes and styles and will send samples.
You sound like simeone who has a life that is good, you've come through medical difficulties before, and you will adjust around to have a good life, we get thrown curve balls but look, we're here to talk about that and will adjust to continue our best lives.
Speak here anytime.

 

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I’m afraid I don’t have any experience with your particular issue but I am so sorry you are going through that.
Like me a lot of these posts are from men who have had their prostates removed because of cancer. And at least some of us are much older.
I think you are making the right decision to see a specialist.
That being a urologist. I’m hoping they can help.
In the mean time there is a device that you can put in your undergarment at night that provides a signal when starting to get wet. That will typically wake you and stop you from urinating because of the intrusion.
It may help at night.
Everyone on this website has incontinence issues and you are not alone. Sometimes I am very frustrated and other times I joke about it because I know it will take time and perseverance to work through it.
Get to the Urologist as soon as you are able and hopefully he can give you recommendations.
All the best. Keep pursuing the answer.

 

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The Northshore website is https://www.northshorecare.com/

 

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Thank you so much for the responses so far. I'm still trying to figure out how to use the forum so bare with me! I have looked into northshore the other day and should be getting the samples I ordered hopefully in the next day or so. I've also noticed that a lot of the support group type things are more males than females, and most of the women are dealing with incontinence because of childbirth. That will never be the case for me. So I am having some trouble figuring out where I belong in all this, if anywhere. I know this is going to be a long process, but I don't have a choice in all of this so I will have to learn to roll with the punches so to speak.

 

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Hi Zora there are both men and women here. There is something about incontinence that creates a common ground. We just ask questions share stories, tips on coping tools medicsl devices and treatments. And alot of friendly chat to keep our spirits up.
The most helpful thing is to realize you are not alone in this issue, and you meet the nicest people...

 

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Don't lose hope Zora!, please do see a Urologist to rule out any sort of infection. Stay hydrated, being dehydrated is bad for your health.
You will find wonderful advice, tips and support in this forum.

 

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Be yourself and write poetry. Don't be afraid of what other's can do to you. Learn your own truth.

 

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When I got my cath taken out the first 3 weeks when I was getting out of the bathtub I was leaking a lot,now I don't leak any more when I get out of the bathtub,there are good days and bad days,but as the days passes it gets better and better,Look,Rome wasn't built in a day,you are not alone,just look on the fourm on how many of us has passed by there,IT WILL GET BETTER,if you have a companion that you could talk to do it,my wife is great she encourages me a lot.Take care

 

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Hi Zora, welcome to the forum! We're glad you came and here you will find a lot of friendly support and everyone is respectful and very non-judgmental. We all have this incontinence thing in common so please don't feel alone or this is your fault. It isn't but it's something that you can take care of, most thankfully. I also think you would be most wise to see a urologist and try out some products as suggested in a couple of the posts above. Since this is somewhat new to you, it can be confusing and you're probably wondering how this could possibly happen to you. It's kind of like any other medical situation. Things do happen, at times seemingly without rhyme or reason, because that's a part of being human! But you're still the same wonderful, caring and loving person you've always been and that doesn't change!!
You have made the right decision to come here and please feel free to come at any time you have something on your mind or a question. I think we'll make you feel right at home here!
And do enjoy the holidays that are now just around the corner! After all you're entitled to a treat or two!!!

 

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@LizardKing2 n

 

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Hi Zora....I am a woman who suffers from both urine & fecal incontinence. I am trying what they call an interstim nerve stimulator. Works on the sacral nerves that control this. It was my urologist who recommended it. Only have had it for a couple weeks but I do see some improvement. I also have depression & this can really get me down.
Hang in there & I hope your urologist will have some answers.
Merry Christmas to you

 

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I've read about it and happy for you, for all the others just keep doing your exercises don't give up, take care to all of you. Look at it this way, the COVID eventually will be gone and so will be the leakage.

 

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I think, like other people stated, work with your doctor, and look at protection. I would recommend highly to avoid dehydration, that tends to make problems worse then better, because everything is more concentrated. You also mentioned being plus size. If you had recent weight gain,(as most people I know since covid). That could be contributing to the problems as well. Outside of that, worst case scenario, if there is no solution, this is not as bad a condition to live with as one might imagine. I believe chronic pain would be much more impactful on life. We are able to continue with full lives, date, get married, travel, work, run, hike, whatever you want. It will only limit you if you let it.