I'm not sure that I am a good comparison because in 2013 I had an accident resulting in spinal injury at the base of my neck with paralysis from there down. Both my anus and my urethra have been left closed except with manual intervention: I hardly ever pass urine via the usual route (I have a suprapubic catheter); nurses visit on alternate days to give me a bowel evacuation. However, for what it's worth, this is my incontinence wear: unisex fixation pants (pull-ups) with just one pad per day. (Abena Abri Fix large ref: 9251 or Allanda iD Expert Ultra Large ref: 5400300250). They are quite hard-wearing and can be washed many times. They are made of lightweight lycra netting, and having no fixed gusset, are intended to hold a pad - effectively a disposable gusset. I wear an Abri San Premium 5 pad, capacity 1,200 ml. (Other pads with larger capacities are available).