Urge incontinence mom of 4

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Archives1

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Hi all, I am a mom of 4 and last 3 vaginal deliveries... in the last trimester of my fourth I started experiencing moderate to heavy urge incontinence (using heavy pads or pullups), and when I expressed concerns to my ob she just said it was normal for pregnancy and to not worry. But now my baby is 7 months and it has come back again and I'm not sure if it is here to stay? Any other moms experiencing incontinence? And what products would you recommend? I mostly use equate pads or always discreet pull-ups. I am so embarrassed and don't want my kids to catch me!
 
Sorry to hear that as you have enough to take care of quite possibly you can benefit with a physical therapist s direction to strengthen by your pelvic floor muscles and by doing levels get the OB GYN to prescribe for physical therapy or find one that will..
 
Sarah,
Best wishes for a good outcome. I've never been a mom (I'm a guy), but I can encourage you to recognize a slight imperfection (not unlike bad knees) as a medical issue and not to be embarrassed or mortified when discussing the issue with family...if the subject should come. I'm guessing that every single person with incontinence does initially feel some embarrassment, but most get over it and recognize it as just another slight imperfection that can be shouted from the roof tops; well, I would not go quite that far, I suppose. You probably have great kids, but I'd bet they're not perfect. :)
Wishing you well. Fynlee
 
Sarah060486 -- No, that's not normal for pregnancy! I was pregnant with twins & did not experience that. I was pregnant again & gained 80 lbs. & did not experience that. Don't be embarrassed, please. You've come to the right place for help. For once thing, children don't judge. Only adults do! Yes, Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy is a good idea. As long as you're still able to do it at this stage in your pregnancy. Check with your OB or get another OB who will refer you to PT. I think it's fairly common for pregnant Moms and Moms to experience incontinence. I have a friend in her 30s who is a Mom who has incontinence who has to wear heavy pads. She has had two children. Best wishes to you!
 
@Sarah060486 Sorry you are experiencing this. I've learned that incontinence can be caused by stress (weak pelvic floor, usually due to childbirth), urge (overactive bladder) or a combination of both. One way to tell them apart from a symptom perspective is the amount of leakage. A little leak or squirt that happens when you cough, sneeze or stand up from sitting is stress related. Large, pad soaking/pants soaking, is more urge/OAB or something else going on. I mentioned in another post that the type of clinician who bests understands this in women seems to be a urogynecologist (versus a regular ob/gyn or a urologist). It feels like a lot of the other types of clinicians just say it's due to pregnancy or age - it might be, but it might also be something that can be specifically diagnosed and addressed. I met with a uro-gyn last week and told them about what I've heard from other physicians and they said it happens all the time. I'm sure your ob/gyn was great for delivering babies but go see a specialist for the incontinence.
 
Thanks, yeah it is urge, I have to wear pull-ups to bed also, because I get urges throughout the night too and usually it's not a whole lot each time but my bladder isn't even full and then when I get up to go, anything still there just comes out before I get to the toilet.. 😥 I have been hiding it from my husband too, don't know how to go about talking about it.
 
pegasi99 said:
Sarah060486 -- No, that's not normal for pregnancy! I was pregnant with twins & did not experience that. I was pregnant again & gained 80 lbs. & did not experience that. Don't be embarrassed, please. You've come to the right place for help. For once thing, children don't judge. Only adults do! Yes, Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy is a good idea. As long as you're still able to do it at this stage in your pregnancy. Check with your OB or get another OB who will refer you to PT. I think it's fairly common for pregnant Moms and Moms to experience incontinence. I have a friend in her 30s who is a Mom who has incontinence who has to wear heavy pads. She has had two children. Best wishes to you!
Click to expand...
 
Sarah060486 -- Okay. Can you find child care so that you can go to physical therapy for pelvic floor p.t.? Is physical therapy covered by your medical insurance? What ages are your children? You can start doing kegel exercises at home. There are also excellent books about incontinence that you can read at home. These books explain how to do kegels, if you're not familiar with the exercise. There are all sorts of devices too that can help you regain muscle stength. Do you have an Amazon account? With an Amazon Prime membership, $139.00 a year, you get free 2-day shipping on almost everything, plus other benefits. I find that I save money by being a member. That's probably the best place to look. The Mayo Clinic also has an excellent hard bound book about incontinence. It's not surprising that after having four children that you have incontinence issues. Vaginal childbirth is the biggest reason for female incontinence. That's what I read!
 
pegasi99 said:
Sarah060486 -- Okay. Can you find child care so that you can go to physical therapy for pelvic floor p.t.? Is physical therapy covered by your medical insurance? What ages are your children? You can start doing kegel exercises at home. There are also excellent books about incontinence that you can read at home. These books explain how to do kegels, if you're not familiar with the exercise. There are all sorts of devices too that can help you regain muscle stength. Do you have an Amazon account? With an Amazon Prime membership, $139.00 a year, you get free 2-day shipping on almost everything, plus other benefits. I find that I save money by being a member. That's probably the best place to look. The Mayo Clinic also has an excellent hard bound book about incontinence. It's not surprising that after having four children that you have incontinence issues. Vaginal childbirth is the biggest reason for female incontinence. That's what I read!
Click to expand...
 
No, unfortunately we are tight on money right now as I just recently lost my job because I was an ESL teacher for kids in China but China just kicked out all foreign teachers... and on top of that still paying for the last baby's birth... and I am a stay at home mom.
 
You might check you tube for core strength exercises or pelvic floor training. Perhaps pilates
But on top of that,cut yourself some slack. It's impossible to express how whacked we are from child birth the hormones yelling all sorts of emotional stuff down the hallways of our veins the exhaustion the feeling you need to have a formal introduction to your body again like it's unfamiliar territory and behaving strangely "down there" to boot. Not to mention the children and your husband all jostling for new positions in the family pecking order.

You know what would be nice?

A NAP.
And now it's game ON for you to prioritize YOUR needs and tell them you are a QUEEN not a dish rag to set yourself up for respect and consideration in the family for doing that remarkable and life risky thing called carrying out childbirth.
 
Sarah -- Have you told your husband yet? You seem to be ashamed of your incontinence. Have you ever been shamed about wetting your pants? Were you ever shamed as a child for wetting your pants. I was & it brought about misemotions in me when I became incontinent in 2016. I am in therapy about it & for being molested by the neighborhood pedophile, among other things. Just this week, a postcard triggered a memory. I was a child seeing a pediatric dentist. You know, Dr. Laston of Berkeley, CA was supposed to be good with kids. I was in the dental chair for the first time. I was crying because I was scared. It was just him and me. He slapped me across the face! I was terrified!! I told me Mother. She said: "Oh, he would never do that." She didn't believe me. Just like she didn't believe I got an STD from a pedophile!!! I was a "slut" instead. I was only seven!
 
pegasi99 said:
Sarah -- Have you told your husband yet? You seem to be ashamed of your incontinence. Have you ever been shamed about wetting your pants? Were you ever shamed as a child for wetting your pants. I was & it brought about misemotions in me when I became incontinent in 2016. I am in therapy about it & for being molested by the neighborhood pedophile, among other things. Just this week, a postcard triggered a memory. I was a child seeing a pediatric dentist. You know, Dr. Laston of Berkeley, CA was supposed to be good with kids. I was in the dental chair for the first time. I was crying because I was scared. It was just him and me. He slapped me across the face! I was terrified!! I told me Mother. She said: "Oh, he would never do that." She didn't believe me. Just like she didn't believe I got an STD from a pedophile!!! I was a "slut" instead. I was only seven!
Click to expand...
 
Yeah, this has brought up stuff from my past for sure.. two of my siblings wet the bed every night till almost adulthood and were laughed at by my parents, and when I wet the bed I was held down and forced into a baby diaper (I think they thought we were trying to get attention or something)...then as a young adolescent was molested. Definitely I feel shame. When I wake up wet sometimes I am shaking and the memories come back.. my husband has been aware before when I was pregnant and although he said it was no big deal I still felt ashamed, like I make sure he never sees me in a diaper,change clothes out of his sight. I wish I could feel better about it all and be comfortable with it.
 
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