Pissing into the wind:ladies version

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So, i have a lower back and or hip joint injury and cannot sit onto the toilet seat. I hover. But even when i do sit the problem arises.
Sometimes my pee goes side ways to the right to hit the wall go down my leg and into my clothes on that side. I cant shift position to change this as it just continues stubbornly.

Does not happen daily but it can be a day of this when it does.
Does anyone have insight as to why this happens? It is not something that happens regulrly.
I could use a funnel to catch and direct the pee but that is awkward and i forget to grab it or am an optimist and dont get it out. Thing gets thrown out too by family.
Doctor looked blank when asked.

 

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I sat down in the bathroom to pee, and even thou I have a micro penis, it squirted all over the back of my pants. But I just dealt with it. No caregiver in with me, so what the hey, out I went, when I composed

 

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MayMay, that’s a hard one. What about gear that women can use to pee discretely while standing up. I have seen that sort of thing for camping and such. You could conceal it in a pretty makeup bag or something to disguise it. Might not get thrown away that way, and less awkward to have with you if out.

 

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@Maymay941 Not being a woman, this is difficult to answer. Might it have something to do with vaginal dryness and how the folds of skin stick a certain way down there? Have you tried a "shewee"? Have you tried positioning your urethra at the toilet bowl in the same way us men have to point Percy at the Porcelaine?

 

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I have the same problem that Boomersway and get it everywhere my wife prefers that I sit and loose all my male ego.

 

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@sport same here, another reason for me to be padded 24/7, Phil

 

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MayMay, I hope you will find a way to correct this problem. May life be easier for you.

 

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Update: thanks to Alasouth i thought about what is different on the says this happens because i THINK my lifestyle is very routine. I realized i would make a cup of afternoon coffee after taking a nap on some days and either lying down and or extra coffee could have some bearing on this. Maybe coffee...i love it and my day can "go sideways"if i refil my large mug on a particularly delicious morning brew

 

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Mmmmmm, coffee, love coffee.

 

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Ridiculous isnt it? That stuff can apparently screw up the trjectory? Im more inclined to think my insides shift if im lying down but the coffee would explain why it sometimes happens from morning onward.

 

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Do an Amazon search for Female urinals, or Google the same and click on images. There are a bunch of different styles that can help aim while standing and have it go where you want it to go.

Pretty cool and looks like something that makes life allot easier for the Ladies.

 

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Those things are awkward and tend to get thrown out by the cleaning lady!lol
Oh im full of jolly memories tonight.
My mother was issued a pessary (some sort of female product like a diaphram to hold up the bladder from inside a lady). She somehow lost it in the toilet and it clogged it so we called in a plumber who told her a childrens toy had been dropped in her toilet.
There were no children involved. Nice discreet man.

 

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Lol, I’m sure they get their share of rescue calls. Not a doubt in my mind.
Hope you have a wonderful Tuesday. Have to turn on my work laptop and get busy for the day.

Stay healthy,
Jim

 

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MayMay, it happens to me, too. It never occurred to me to figure out why. Let me guess, your doctor is a man?

 

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Snow, lovely name that, yes. My medical history was excellent care which i required little of from intelligent women in Massachusetts but i had gone to Florida to take care of my mother. She had platinum insurance so we had our pick of doctors for her to sample but they were truly not impressive, with geriatrics there is a point that one has to accept with grace one has lived so long and the vehicle will break down.
I got a couple male doctors big yawn and a female intern. Had one super woman gyno from planned parenthood. Im no fan of keeping up with doctors and havent gotten one since i left Florida. I used to work on meedical care so im a jaded observer of when medical folk hide behind TheCoat.
I even wondered if another organ was pressed up on bladder but i have no resource or medico to care to check.

BREAKING NEWS: re sidewinder peeing! I deliberately cut coffee to two mugs in the morning , no extras and no side pesing.
With a test case day, taking a sip or two late in the morning or a small cup in the afternoon and its sideways.

 

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I’m glad to hear your coffee solution is helping! Very cool! I think alcohol may cause it, too.