Oscar Winning People

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So as you may know - im in a bit of a pickle. And it got me wondering how lately; ive been dealing with some people who just "seem" to care - but unfortunately arent making the full length journey from head to heart.

I have a wonderful church and a wonderful faith; but about a couple months ago i was asked by a member of our church out to dinner - and we got to know one another; and turns out in the past we had the same contracter. I didnt know if i could fully trust him because he just was so hot and cold on different things. Like as if they didnt want to be my friend; but was making the effort to pretend to be to get to know more about myself.

Well, i never heard from him up until about a week ago, when life was going crazy and i felt like i was going through physical hell due to a personal situation and it was like at the moment when i needed help from everyone the most - the only person that showed up was him. As if, he intentially wanted to make himself look good by representing himself as caring and with compassion; when in reality - i had none at all. Now I kinda just clocked out because most of my messages don't seem fully authentic.

Ive always been the type of person that has feared judgement. And if you read my prior posts about my experiences - i am very timid and shy because of my personal insecurities. So not knowing somebody's intentions when they go from hot to cold to hot - it just makes me wonder who are the real people in this world?

I have dear faith in good people in my life - and i have met many a good people. And it makes me cling even more to the faith that i have found - because i learned that i need to continue to walk in the truth.

Maybe one day this will all make sense. But until then, my words are documented hoping to be read.

Have you dealt with half friends - even in faith, groups or organizations? How do you have the heart to tell them you want them to be 100% commited when you feel like there in one door and out the other?

 

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@Honeeecombs

I don't put my faith out on here a lot because it turns people the wrong way on a site that is more about secular issues, But I have a degree in Christian ministries/Minor in relational psychology and was 15 credit hours shy of my masters in Church History from Liberty University before my world came crashing down when I got sick.

I have extensive studies into relationships and faith. One thing I can say definitively is that it takes faith, mercy, and love to be in a relationship with anyone.

Dr. Jack Schafer said it like this in his article Love is a one-way street (Linked below)

"Love is not fair. Fairness implies quid-pro-quo. Love is not reciprocal. When you love someone, you give without expecting anything in return."

That is the way it is. Christ in giving of himself gave us a gift we did not deserve at a cost we could not pay. Love is an action word because it takes action to truly love. I have many family members that I love but have no relationship with. Some live as little as a block away and I have not visited them. I still love them but there is no relationship there.

So if someone is trying, putting forth an effort to know you then you have to trust that God is overseeing that and hope that good intention are there. But I will leave this with another quote from Dr. Jack Schafer

"Love cannot be betrayed. Love has no expectations, so betrayal is not possible. Betrayal is only possible when an exchange is excepted. Trust can be betrayed because an equal exchange between people is expected.... Love is sacrifice."

Love is a One-Way Street

Becoming a loving person is easy when we keep our focus on others and not on ourselves.

www.psychologytoday.com

 

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I love that ThatFLGuy. Truly words of inspiration and God centered.

Love cannot be betrayed. So deep. So meaningful. So pure.

The past couple of years have tried me in my faith. In personal situations; I just wish people were more direct I suppose. Maybe that's on me - but from the actions I've seen, I feel it's going to lead me to pure failure. Somethings you gotta hold out for someone to come and lift you up.

I will just continue to pray. Thank you for that.

 

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@Honeeecombs

I feel you on the past couple of years trying your faith thing, I really do.

In May of 2018 while at my graduation from Liberty, I signed up for my Masters. Then in December of 2018 I almost died from diverticulitis while still doing college online. After my surgery in February 2019, I was told I would be okay so I moved up here to PA because the cost of living is better. I ended up sick in November 2019 and the rest is history. I was so sick up to getting put on academic probation due to my grades slipping (Need a 2.0 to graduate but my GPA dropped to a 1.96 so no more student loans unless I appeal it and I have not due to being sick which now is a good thing as I cannot sit long enough to do online classes)

And in April of last year, I was listed as disabled by my insurance due to everything I have going on. Now I cannot finish school even if I wanted to because taking one class would lose me my insurance disability and once I have social security it is the same way. (Stupid because I do not what to live on disability I would rather teach online or something but cannot finish my education so)

Now I cannot even sit through the church so I do it online but that sucks and is not the same.

Plus I live in a very small town so I have to drive a bit to get to a good Church so that makes it hard.

So yea I get it.

 

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Funny because I was thinking of your story about the missionary evening dinner. You've shared enough of your story to learn you had a very difficult time growing up and it would be natural to seek a family in a community that seems based on kindness
What I know is that people are imperfect and this goes for those in a Christian community just as it is in any place any family.
Think of it this way. You are a stone a flat smooth perfect Stone thrown into water. The ripples that's around you are the people that emanate from around the stone. They are not you, they are Circles of energy around you. And just let them be what they are.
You be the stone.

 

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Honeeecombs & ThatFLguy: Don't care if someone has an aversion to religion - this is the time and place. Far as I'm concerned, FL, you just proved it, have established the connection. And a connection with any one of us who wants to make the leap of faith to connect back.
It'd be nice to sit around a kitchen table and talk those out. We aren't as different as we think, sometimes.
I do miss the in-person. Sometimes, down in the undercroft, doing the meet-and-greet, or the dishes from the potluck, you make the connection just as we did upstairs.
So, now we get to invent that all over again.
We'll do it.

God Bless

 

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Funny because I was thinking of your story about the missionary evening dinner. You've shared enough of your story to learn you had a very difficult time growing up and it would be natural to seek a family in a community that seems based on kindness
What I know is that people are imperfect and this goes for those in a Christian community just as it is in any place any family.
Think of it this way. You are a stone a flat smooth perfect Stone thrown into water. The ripples that's around you are the people that emanate from around the stone. They are not you, they are Circles of energy around you. And just let them be what they are.
You be the stone.

Yes maymay. Thank you for that!

I like how you talked about seeking a family based on a community of kindness. I know all to well about those feelings.

It makes me think about the children who are in the foster care system or spend time with perspective families only for them to not get chosen. I feel bad for the children because they develop a relationship and are made to believe that they are a part of something that is not entirely fully true.

If there is anything I advocate for; is to make adoption less expensive in America. There are so many children who deserve loving homes in our country.

I think I should count my many blessings. Amen.

 

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I had a friend called laura, and she was actually really nice

that was, until, she found out my religious beliefs

she started emailing me all this stuff about wwell god isn't real, he's fake, I don't believe in that nonsense, it';s either me or god.

I told her look laura, I really like you, and I'm not asking you to believe in god, if you don't, that's fine- but a little respect for people that do would go along way

she ended up saying that she couldn't be friends with a " religious nut", and that was that

 

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You're not the one with a problem, Laura is! And the world would be a much better place if others would at least respect the fact everyone has different beliefs, religious or otherwise, and that we could co-exist peacefully and look for the good in everybody and not focus on anything perceived as negative.

 

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@Honeeecombs Hi Honeeecombs, I have very few real friends but a lot of acquaintances, maybe strong acquaintances but still that's all,,, a real friend would give you there last piece of bread if your hungry or the shirt off there back if your cold.
Agopie (spelling ?) love is the choice one makes from the heart not from the head. So keep strong in your faith and you will see the difference in time. Remember these days are all about instant everything from soup to love, and true love is not instant, we may choose to love but it is not real "true" love.
Keep your head up and stay strong, there are people out here that care.

 

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@Maymay941 FANTASTIC, about the stone and the circles of energy!!!!!

@emily91 It’s too bad Laura couldn’t let you have your own beliefs and she could keep hers, too. That’s what I do: let people be, as long as they’re not trying to make me believe anything.