I want to also echo the remarks about inserts and pads helping. My daily diaper is an Abena Abriform L4 disposable with an Abena Abri-Let Maxi booster pad in it. When used single-thickness, these pads are about the length of the full diaper front to back, which could help with the leakage you experience around the waist. I personally use the pad doubled during the day, since I am usually standing or sitting rather than lying in bed. This has proven to be a very reliable combination for me, and I cannot really remember the last time I had a leak or wet pants. I can generally get through a whole day with no more than 2 diapers (1 diaper change mid-day). As mentioned here, the great thing about the booster is that it intercepts and absorbs wetness before it ever hits the absorbent padding of the diaper, and distributes the wetness much more evenly and slowly over a much larger area of absorbent diaper material, helping to prevent leaks even during an especially large voiding. A positive side effect is that the thickness of the this particular diaper and the doubled pad keeps my penis from moving around too much, so the little guy stays pretty much pointed down. The down side of the thickness is that it's probably a bit more noticeable under my clothes than some solutions, but I long ago decided even a thick diaper was way less noticeable than a big wet mark on my pants or someone's furniture! I also use plastic pants (several brands and varieties) at night as extra protection, since I do not wake up much during the night and never during a bedwetting episode. There have been mornings when there was wetness on the outside of the diaper, but on almost all occasions, the plastic pants prevented the bed from also becoming wet.
