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Good evening. Found this site while trying to find out info on managing incontinence. A little about myself. 48yr old male. Started with an enlarged prostate about 8 yrs ago. In the beginning I got away with a pad/guard in my underwear 24hrs a day. With in a couple years needed a pull up at night. about 4-5 yrs ago symptoms got progressively worse to where I was wetting the bed frequently, moving to tape on diaper at night and a pull up during the day. The combination of urge/OAB incontinence got progressively worse.Urology worked with me in medications, diet etc. Couldn't take the most effective medications due to already low blood pressure. Diet made no change. 2 yrs ago had a urolift procedure done to my prostate. Better flow when urinating but no change in bed wetting, or urge /OAB symptoms. Unfortunately progressed to wetting the bed almost every night and very little time to find a bathroom during the day before I involuntarily urinate. As many who have urge/OAB incontinence know. Its a feeling that is hard to describe. I go from no feeling of needing to go the bathroom to I have got to go now! Usually I can delay for 30 sec up to maybe a minute, and then it just comes out. The few who know of my problems don quite get it. I don want to wet my pants or my bed it just comes out. I think its one of those areas in life where unless you experience it, it is very hard to understand what it feels like. I've learned to be ok with it. Life could be a whole lot worse. Thankfully we live in a day with good diapers available that can be shipped to your home in plain boxes. No embarrassment of going to the store and having to buy product in person. Good products give me the confidence that except in that rare occasion where I have a leak, I don't believe anyone knows. I use the product, change and move on with life. Hope to find and maybe be some help to others on this site.
 
Welcome Tim. This is a great forum with great people. Oh the joys of Incontinence lol. I have a neurogenic bladder thx to MS but that’s life. I am making the best of it and just trying to move my life forward in a positive direction with my wife and my 2 kids. Welcome here and agreed incontinence is one is one of those areas very hard to understand unless you have been through it.
 
Welcome! You will get to chat with some great people here. I am now having to wear diapers most of the time, at night always and most days if I need to leave the houses. Really, I am wearing them even if staying at home these days.
 
Tim:
Your story is almost exactly like mine. I've had to wear some form of protection for the last 6+ years due to an enlarged prostate and am now 24/7 in tape up diapers. As you have said it's just something that you get use to dealing with and once you find the right protection strategy(s) it's just really not all that bad, especially with the support of loved ones. And while I'm not exactly thrilled about my incontinence issues it could be so much worse with other more serious afflictions.
 
Tim, welcome. You are very similar to my experience as well. 45yo male and similar run up to today. I hope you find any help you need here.

Pmikula, I understand your desire for a women's site, but please feel welcome here too!
 
@Pmikula I’m a female, and there are other females here, also. Men do post more often but their posts are informative and often also apply to women.
 
Hi Tim, glad you're here! As someone with OAB I know all too well that feeling you're walking along, minding your business, not a single thought of, well, going to the bathroom....and then not five minutes later, you're going!:eek: You've got plenty of sympathetic ears here! Yes, we do live in a time with good products available from many sources who ship in plain old boxes. I have one place I order from and just a shade over 24 hours later it's right at my front door! :D Can't beat that with a stick! Although I like what the online vendors have to offer if I have to go to the store to buy something then it doesn't bother me any more. They do make those products to sell to the general public so why worry about buying them at a store? It's becoming more and more accepted.
Pmikula, I echo what the others here are saying. Both females and males can feel equally welcome here. After all, we're all humans and what we share is a human condition.
 
Welcome! A saver for me has been my pull-ups but the only downside is how bulky it is. Also leak pads for underneath me. Hope it helps!
 
My brother who is 78,is having pain when he pee's no blood. He has not yet seen his family doctor. He had prostate cancer but it was cured 10 years ago with Proton.
 
I feel that the pull ups show and I have to wear lose clothes. I wear with over nite pads and still leak. It cost me a ----fortune. What can we do? Just have to live with it and be happy I am still alive.
 
100% agree that it is most likely an urinary tract infection like Pmikula states as well. Granted I am not a doctor but If I were a betting man that’s where I would my bet on.

Hopefully you are able to see a doctor soon and get some relief for your brother.
 
Honestly I think at some point you just won’t care. We always think they show way more than they actually so because we become hyper sensitive to it.

If you go to Starbucks to pick up a coffee at first I remember I always thought everyone is looking at me and they all know I am wearing protection. Then one magical day I realized it’s all in my head. People are normally so self absorbed they do not really even notice anyone else in the coffee shop. Once you realize it is just yourself causing your extreme anxiety it is very freeing. And the other moment when you accept that you need to wear protection and for me I had to accept protection as full tape on briefs it was so relieving and freeing. Now I have no problem wearing an abena m4 tape on diaper with Gary wear pants over top and going into any store or any event. We just need to accept who we are and what we need to live like we used to in society. Staying home isolated from society just because one has incontinence is no longer a reason for me to stay home. I may need to plan more and bring changing supplies etc in my bag. Aka my diaper bag now and I just joke with my wife. It is what it is but let’s not let it define us. Define yourself how you want to. How you want to be perceived.

I am very fortunate in a sense that I have a strong sense of I don’t give a f@ck what people think about me so this approach may have been easier for me to truly accept and embrace.

But really why not be yourself. Love yourself and don’t let your mind play tricks on you. Because if you let your mind lose it will control you and not always in good ways. We all need to slow down to the speed of life and not accept social isolation if we don’t want too. We have a choice. And thank the heavens for the great diapers we have access too because without them I would be a sad miserable soul. Lol 😂
 
Wow! Way to go @Jwh51! That's true, one fine day we find ourselves suddenly not worrying what other people are thinking. Can't tell you just when that happened, but it did! A wise ol' doctor I once had told me, "You're your own worst critic." How true that is!Staying at home and not going anywhere just because you perceive people think they know you wear protection really sucks rocks! People are so absorbed in their own worries that they couldn't care less that the guy up in front of the line may be wearing diapers! If it were me I'd probably be much more worried about how much money I need to transfer from savings to checking so I can pay my bills this month. Or, when to take the Chevy to the quicky oil change place. And surprise, surprise,:O other people have those same thoughts going through their heads as well! So be yourself and enjoy it! There is no reason whatsoever for any of us to accept social isolation. Like you said, just be thankful there are fine products for us.
And @Pmikula is your brother's pain a burning one when urinating? I've had a couple of bladder infections and that's the first hint - burning sensation. Even though bladder infections are common, it's still a great idea to see the doctor. A bladder infection could travel up to the kidneys (if there's pain in your flanks) and that is harder to treat than a bladder infection. So please have him pay a visit to the doctor!
 
I look at it this way. Whats more noticeable? Possibility of someone noticing that I have "padding" in my pants, or a wet spot right in perfect alignment with my equipment? Personally before I started wearing something I was much more conscious of the wet spot that appeared in my pants every time I came out of the restroom then the possibility that someone might notice something different about my pants. As my conditioned worsened it became a situation where it's not even open for discussion any longer. If I cant find a restroom within a couple minutes of the feeling of needing to go the outcome is far more noticeable/embarrassing than wearing a diaper.
One thing I can say I am really conscious about is keeping my pants up and my shirt down when bending or squatting. The waist band is a sure give away.
I do agree with the other posts though. "you" know so that means everyone else knows. Like others have said I don't think that is true. I liken it to this, look at the fed-ex logo. See the perfect arrow that's created between the e and the x? If you didn't notice it before and do now you will never look at a fed-ex truck again without seeing it. Once its pointed out its obvious and you cant not see it. But if you were like me, I never saw it till someone showed me. Don't "point out" your diaper and I'll wager no one "sees" it either.
 
I liked all these comments.ok! No more feeling like everyone is looking at my britches. Thanks to all for your uplifting of my spirit
 
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