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Hello Kevin,

I'm a 23 year old male who has been dealing with OAB much of my life and on and off incontinence issues because of it. I have went on meds for it when I was in elementary school and almost suffered heat stroke a few times due to the meds impairing my ability to sweat. I went off meds and was dry for the most part other than one or two short periods of problems until college and then started having occasional leakage. Saw an urologist and got prescribed a sample of medication (can't remember what the medication was). Had similar issues with not sweating and not feeling well on the medication and went off of it again. Lately my OAB and incontinence has been getting worse but for me I find it preferable to use protection than to deal with the side effects of pills. I think though how medication effects someone varies from person to person. For some people it probably works better than it did for me

 

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Thanks for sharing. I tried the meds and felt sick to my stomach, drowsy, dry mouth and eyes. I stopped taking the meds and notified my doctor. So back to the drawing board.

 

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Hi @greengold4, Those are my thoughts about medication for OAB too! I've seen lists of side effects (of course not all side effects happen to everybody!) but it's still enough for me to sit up and take notice. One of the side effects is increased eye pressure. That in itself makes me extremely hesitant to take any medication especially when wearing protection works for me and is not all that bad. A few years ago, I was told by my eye doctor that I am a glaucoma "suspect." My eye pressure was borderline. Then I had cataract surgery (all of seven or nine minutes per eye!) Before the actual cataract extraction and lens implant the doctor took a laser and said he was taking care of the glaucoma. I'm not sure exactly what all he was saying as I was starting to nod off under the versed. Long store short, my eye pressure is within more normal limits.
Truth be told, I really enjoy seeing! It's great! Thanks to the surgery the vision in my left eye is just about perfect and the right eye isn't too bad, considering there's a macular pucker or wrinkle in my right eye that affects vision but it isn't handicapping. And if I had a choice between medication that may exacerbate my eye pressure and put me at risk for glaucoma, or leaving my eyes alone and just wear the pull-ons I think the choice is obvious!

 

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Want some advice/ venting frustration As all this has been progressing over the past month. It all started with me having night time accidents. Then had 1 accident 1 day. Had three accidents the following, and has now progressed to 6 to 9 accidents a day. It is very frustrating. I get the urge to go to the bathroom and the next thing I know I am just going. I have been doing the kegal exercises my Dr. sugested. It is very embarrassing/ frustrating. I am a grown man and can't control myself. I am wearing diapers day and night to contain it. Just very hard to accept.

 

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Yep, it’s hard to accept, but we on this forum have all managed to do it, to some extent at least, and you will, too. Try to approach it with less pride and ego, and more humility. Much easier said than done. I’m sorry you’re feeling so frustrated. I remember how horrible the first two years were. It does get easier to accept.

 

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First off sorry for my such a long post.

Kevin I fully get it. It sucks but if you step back and analyze your thoughts are you just using definitions which you defined in your head and that’s where the hurt and embarrassment coming from. Just a thought.

I know for me I was too proud to admit I needed to wear protection. Felt the embarrassment and shock like you said I am a grown man and I cannot control myself. However, once I accepted it is what it is I was able to move forward.

The biggest change when I got super relief was when i started wearing full diapers when going to site meetings, going to be out of the house for a long time, travel, car trips etc was the anxiety relief I felt when I wasn’t always having to worry where the washroom was or if I would make it In time or can I hide the pee running down my leg or is it going to be obvious to anyone all of a sudden didn’t matter anymore. I had full confidence in the protection I was using. Granted I had to truly accept that pull ups were not going to be sufficient for my needs. Honestly it’s a bit of having to try various things out.

Sorry for basically reiterating what I wrote at the start. But hey now you know the meds don’t work for you. So I guess my question is do you have any idea why this stuff has started for you?? As it could be something very major unfortunately.

In my case when diagnosed with ms obviously the damage on my spinal column was severe enough to cause urinary issues and fecal issues on the rare occasion. But I am so thankful first off I didn’t kill myself thanks to cymbalta however that I regained my ability to walk is what I appreciate greatly too. Doctors thought originally when hospitalized based on my mris I wouldn’t be able to talk as my mris lite up like Christmas Tree and lesions everywhere and down the entire spinal cord. I was bedridden for the 6 weeks prior puking my guts out, everyone thought I had viral vertigo nope just a lesion resulting in not able to keep anything down and not able to roll over or lie on my right side without immediately puking up whatever in my stomach and if nothing just the stomach acid. Blah

Basically long and short of it is I am able to walk, not confined to a wheel chair (at least not yet lol), thankful for everything in my life my wife and my kids. If I need to wear diapers it’s not that big of a deal. Granted that one sentence has taken me from December 2016 to spring 2020.

I guess it’s also your own perspective as an individual. I am sincerely praying for your sake your condition isn’t as a result of something like my condition. It’s as a result of something much simpler and hopefully easier to resolve. My bench mark for some form of happiness was to regain 90% for what I lost. Happy to report currently I have regained close to 98%. But as per the disease it’s basically a ticking time bomb. Hopeful that the new meds nowadays will make my odds improve but nothing is guaranteed and if I need to wear protection 24/7 oh well I can accept that as I consider myself very fortunate to have recovered as far as I have. Like some others on here have said to us diapers act like eye glasses do for other people.

Hope this is insightful in some way and provides some encouragement. It is good to vent and express frustration and hopefully that provides some relief for you as I know sometimes it’s nice just to be able to vent.

Stay strong. Fellow wearer. Age doesn’t matter but for sure DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP and DON’T OVERTHINK. WE ARE OUR OWN WORST ENEMIES.

Said with Love. Be kind to oneself.

 

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Getting real late @Jwh51 but just wanted to say you had a great post here and you are so right, we are our own worst enemy. Words to live by. Will stop by here again tomorrow!

 

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Looking for suggeation for a good tab style brief for day use. I have been using the tena mens pull on and have had a couple leaks. Currently using CVS brand day/overnihjt fitted briefs. They work but extremely uncomfortable. Still figuring this all out. I know the site says this is all trial and error to fivure out what works for me. Also find it easier to change tab style vs. Pull ip style. Thougjts anyone.

 

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I use abena abriform m4s. North shore also have some great ones. Or confidry 24/7. Depending on what capacity you need confidry and m4 abena are for pretty large voids or for a longer duration. FYI and thus they can become quite bulky but I don’t care. I just need the protection.

 

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Hi Kevin82, you definitely don't want to wear something that's uncomfortable! No way! Although I have used CVS products (pull-ups) I'm not familiar with their fitted briefs. I just hope you didn't buy a whole packet of them as that's a waste of money. If that's what happened to you then take the remainder of the packet to a local thrift store. If it were me I just can't see keeping something around that I flat-out didn't like. At the thrift store someone else may be thrilled to find something for sale cheap, no matter what brand it is and you'd be doing someone in your community a real favor! So although you're out a few bucks for something that doesn't work for you, someone else may benefit.
What's uncomfortable about them? Do they feel stiff and not supple? Are they noisy or just hot? There's nothing worse than wearing uncomfortable protection! I've been there, done that! And truth be told, you're probably not going to get a really good comfy product at the corner national chain pharmacy. Sure the price is attractive but hey, you get what you pay for!
I'd go to NorthShore. I think they advertise tab style briefs for day use. Do call them up and talk to them. They may be able to suggest something else and can send you samples as well. But face it, you need something you can wear comfortably, after all we all do! Or if you don't want to wait for NorthShore to ship something maybe you can visit a local medical supply store or a good independent pharmacy and check out their incontinence section. But this trial and error business we all talk about here is part of the game. Good luck and hope you find that perfect tab-style brief really soon!

 

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Kevin,

Have you looked into external catheters and leg bag set up?