New to incontinence..on the fence about accepting using diapers

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I have had bladder control issues as long as I can remember but I’m now 26 and believe I suffer from OAB and urge incontinence..I have went to the dr multiple times and just get told I have an abnormally small bladder and weak muscles..my incontinence has progressively gotten worse/more frequent and I use diapers but am not quite to 24/7 use but believe I am getting to that point..I’m having issues with mentally climbing the hurdle of needing to be diapered 24/7 and it not just being something I’m doing just because I think I do and It’s not completely necessary...has anyone else had this issue and could give some insight and will my incontinence gradually get worse as time goes? I have tried just about everything to prevent wearing(limiting fluids scheduled voiding meds) meds didn’t help and had bad side effects

 

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I’ve been in that boat for a couple years. I’ve worked with PT and Docs and got some relief but in my case it sorta “flairs up” for a few days when I’m stressed or something. I still haven’t gone 24/7 yet but I make sure to know where the restrooms are when I go out. It’s definitely hard to accept but I must say, when I do wear diapers I feel way less nervous.

I’d say wear them when you need them for sure but the rest of the time wear it when you want the added confidence but don’t worry about it when you know you can make the RR in time.

I know diapers shouldn’t be a big issue but for me they are. So I get where you are coming from.

 

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I have learned over the years using diapers is just a tool just like wearing glasses hearing aids or even using a cane I have found using humor as a way of coping like when my friends are doing the potty dance I offer them a diaper it's nothing to be ashamed of

 

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I can't relate to the 24/7 part but I spent years in denial for addressing my bedwetting issue.
I used to do all kinds of crazy things to prevent me from wetting and when I did I jumped through hoops to hide it starting as a teenager. I thought as an adult it would fix but it only lead to anxiety, sleeplessness nights and shame.
I finally gave in and bought a bag of adult briefs bc I was travelling for my new work and staying in a hotel.. I was sick to my stomach the first time I looked at myself in the mirror with a diaper on. It brought back so many horrible memories as a kid. The disgust/embarrassment over my situation eventually went away when I realized that long term using a diaper allowed me to sleep without all the anxiety and without having to deal with all of the things you need to do when you wake up with a soaked bed.
I know that for you this may be different but I think you should consider the pros and cons and onc you get over the hurdle of it being an actual "diaper" you are wearing..well..maybe (at least for me) it's better to use one than not.

 

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yes i do!!!! i been in diapers for most of my life know and wear them 24/7. after seeing several urologists for many years,found one and she told me i have a small bladder and urge incontinence. i tried everything my doctor told me to do. the only thing works for me is diapers. i also have anxiety too witch play a roll in my incontinence too. i see a therapist daily. you need to talk to your doctor or get 2nd opp-ion. maybe talking to you primly doctor to and a therapist too. i hope this helps. i talk to all my doctors regularly and it helps. i just learn to live with it and make the most of my live,if it means wearing diapers 24/7 ok then it could be worse.

 

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For females, the Purewick system works great at night. It soaks up urine via suction. Some folks take muscle relaxants for other problems but these can increase incontinence.

 

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I’ve needed to use diapers for about 30 years, so when I look back I’ve needed them more of my life than not! If it helps you any with your decision, initially I was both bowel & bladder incontinent so diapers were the only answer. After I regained bowel control I thought that catheters were it! After using the glue/ tape on type for a few years, I started getting painful skin damage from the adhesive and Docs told me I better stop before I lost all feeling in that very important area! I moved to indwelling catheters because I traveled so much for work, often gone 3 weeks at a time. Having no direct schedule I’d get on a plane headed East, and end up coming home from the West making it close to impossible to ship diapers in advance. Towards the end of my traveling days I had repeated infections which turned up the fire from my IC. Anyone who has had those bladder fires combined with spasms with the balloon inside can tell you, it is it’s own version of Hell!
I guess my point is, try whatever options you feel comfortable with, after all this time the diapers just seem to work best for me. With this issue/disease you just have to check your ego at the door & get on with living your best life.
Best of luck!

 

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Wow thanks everyone I’m glad I joined on here..I’ve never had any positive reinforcement on my issue so all this means allot..my wife is far from accepting of the issue and makes this allot harder for me..as far as only wearing when I need to I might add that I’m a truck driver by profession so bathrooms are not the most readily available so I’m really only not wearing one or two days a week and that’s only when I’m staying at home I always wear if I’m in town(which is allot when I’m not working haha)so in all honesty I’m really close to 24/7 already I think the big things for me are my wife and getting over the idea of being noticed/carrying the necessary supplies with me whenever I’m out and about..

 

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All the women on here we need to call purewick! It was checked out by our friend here LeeC and might be a godsend for nocturnal use. She liked it alot said quiet clean ok to toss and turn and dry bed.
Guys and gents I dont know if you could McGiver it to work for your equipment?
Money up front but diapers for night are money over time so its pay me now pay me later possibly Medicare coverage if a doc prescription even

 

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Sorry for your issues. I am a woman & have both urine & fecal leakage. I wear a Poise pad every day. I hate it but it is what it is. I have a weakened pelvic floor hense the issues with me. Aren’t you glad we can actually talk about this with each other? So many of us with problems. Good luck

 

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Sorry to hear about the wife component, that’s a pretty hard thing to overcome especially since it sounds like you’ve had to wear them for a while now. At the end of the day, you might have some decisions to make. Is it worth fighting to make things work or is the relationship too damaged, many more factors to marriage than our underwear!
Initially it cost me my marriage, but after Some single time, then dating a while I found my incredible wife 18 years ago. We’ve had our differences over the years but love & clear communication has made for an incredibly fulfilling life to date!
Best of luck, I hope you find your balance and happiness!

 

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Just to add one more voice, I was very similar. In mid-20s I started having issues. They continued to get worse over the years. The doctors could not find a specific reason, but could confirm my bladder just spasms and it was causing leaks. They went from dribbles after urinating to full on voids when I would stand from my desk. I started with pads, then pull ups. I hated the idea of wearing a "diaper" as a young, strong, assertive male. It made me feel less of a man, more reserved so as not to be called out for a diaper bulge and disappointing to my wife. She luckily was very understanding and after having had kids, said what is the big deal. Put on what you need and go on with life.

Today I am a professional and wear a diaper almost 24/7, allowing some time to dry when I can for skin health. I have found premium diapers that really help me with the large voids, but they can be bulky. Size you pants up a bit and wear a form fitting pair of underwear over them to help.

Keep you head up, pants dry and move on with life with what ever underwear works best for you and your dignity.

 

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I like to say that this group doesn't judge you and is very understanding. We all have issue today but we try to make the best of it. As for me I use pereum diapers from north shore diapers mostly,I tried other but they were ok. If you have any questions here just ask it someone might have an answer for you. Sorry about my spelling.

 

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@Mchambers,
Thanks for reaching out. Glad you and everyone else are here. Many good folks to talk with, bounce ideas off of and learn about things and products that may just help along the way.
We were just on the interstate coming from NC to MD and I can assure you from the number of adult diapers I counted as I drove home along side the road it’s one of those necessary items for allot of us. Just wish they would bag it and toss them in the trash can at a rest area and not along the road.

 

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Hi Mchambers, You have found a place here with all encouraging posts. To which I will add that you should do what is right for you and more importantly makes you more comfortable. So go with the diapers or whatever protection works best for you. I started out wearing belted undergarments and saw instantly how much they helped me just to be able to take a walk somewhere without the need to rush home and go to the bathroom. I'd say it was like a new sense of freedom, actually. Now I like the pull-on underwear and am pleased there are so many quality products out there. If you think your situation would be improved with a product from a big box store or a supermarket it may suit you, at least for now. But most of us here prefer the more well-made ones that come from places you find on-line. A good one to start with is North Shore. Just tell them what you need and they will advise and will also send samples. Care Well, out of Charlotte NC, will also do that. So good luck finding something soon and once you see what protective underwear will do for you then you'll be like "Why didn't I do this sooner?"

 

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Mchambers, I just remembered reading an article on the Northshore Blog I believe. It was very specific to truck drivers and the unique issues you face being behind the wheel everyday. Lot of stuff he does on his website to help people & he has some excellent products. Just an FYI !

 

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@billliveshere I currently wear either molicare slip maxi or abena m4s I found out real fast store bought products can’t handle what I need them to when I advanced to more than just bedtime leaking

 

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I found I soon accepted wearing nappies and now after nearly 8 years of 24/7 it just isn't a big deal any more. I guess I was very lucky as my wife just told me to stop worrying and wear nappies and get on with my life.

 

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You are lucky to have a great wife that is ok with you having to wear diapers all the time. I am glad that you have someone special, and tell you that wear what you want. As for me I'm judge by my friend and family about my diapers. As for some of my doctors they look at me differently because I wear diapers, but it could be part of my anxiety. In which I'm still working on with my therapist.

 

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@MRjw48,
If it helps you to get through life then they will just have to deal with it. It’s no one else’s concern what kind of protection or underwear we have to wear to make the most of each day. Only saying it because worrying about other people opinion will drive people batty. Make the most of life and enjoy it. You can always ask them to keep their opinions to themselves if they don’t have anything constructive to offer.

Hang in there,
Jim