New here, trying to learn.

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Hey all, as my user name suggests, I am exploring resources. I’m recently incontinent (urinary) and it’s definitely something that messes with my mind.

I’m only 33, so I never expected anything like this until I was older, but the problem is I feel so childish. I’m back in “diapers” as a 33 year old man, and I can only imagine what people would think or say if they ever found out. I feel like such a loser.

It started earlier this year but it was occasional, but now it’s progressed to a 24/7 situation. When I went to my doctor I had the standard blood tests and urinalysis with no findings, but with a recent referral to a urologist I had those tests again.

It says negative for high grade Urothelial carcinoma, but right under that it says Urothelial and Squamous cells present.

Trying to research on Google brings up a lot of information, so maybe someone can decipher what that could mean? It seems to be abnormal that those cells are present and seems to be guiding me to info about Low grade Urothelial neoplasia, but I hope it’s not that and I’m just freaked out.

At the same time, in a weird way I hope it’s something because I want this to be taken care of so I don’t have to stay in diapers my whole life.

Any advice, insight, or any response would be much appreciated.

 

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I’m not sure what that is but I wanted to welcome you. I’m incontienent from a fall down an escalator. I also fractured my ankle in 4 places, had 7 surgeries and eventually lost my right leg below the knee. Incontinence is nothing compared to losing a leg. It’s been a nightmare. I’ve tried a SPC catheter and that wasn’t worth the infections for me. I did intermittent catheterization before that and also had infections. Because of my accident I have a paralyzed neurogenic bladder and on bad days have some bowel issues but thankfully that’s not too often.

Welcome I hope you get some answers.

 

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Hello Exploring Resources,

I would suggest speaking to a Urologist or a medical professional in regards to anything that needs to be explained medically. If you call your local office, I'm sure a nurse would be willing to have a doctor call you back to get you the information you need.

I know the symptoms of this condition sucks. And by all mean - there are some absolutely wonderful people in this community that including myself- know of the emotional and mental toll these conditions have on us.

With that being said, welcome to the NAFC.

Blessings,
HC

 

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Don't have answers for you. But I wish you the very best.
As for this group you will find great support and help.

 

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I’m definitely going to follow up, but my urologist is out of town until after Thanksgiving. I’m hoping to try and figure it out. Google pretty much tells me I’ll die from cancer so definitely looking to find out what’s going on.

It all actually started within a week of the Covid vaccine. Started having accidents, that type where all of a sudden you have to go but when you try to pinch it off you can’t. Also, general leakage beyond that too. It’s starting to get to the point that most of the day I don’t necessarily even notice when it happens anymore.

I figured out that two weeks ago I never peed into the toilet once.

Overall I’m frustrated, embarrassed, and my wife says it’s fine, but I wouldn’t blame her if she left me for a real man.

Luckily people haven’t really found out yet, I fear that day.

 

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I hear your frustration. This is one of those “for better or worse” situations for the spouse, but give her credit. Many of us can share how supportive our wives/husbands/partners have been. As for people finding out, I have been in diapers 24/7 for well over 15 years and the only people who know are my wife, my medical team, and my mother-in-law. That’s it. Most people don’t notice and we make ourselves worry more than we ought to.

Just let your urologist explain those results and know that no matter what, it will be ok.

 

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Hi exploring resources and welcome to the Nafc.

I am a 40year old male and have basically had to wear diapers for the past 4 years after my MS diagnosis lol. Honestly it could be a lot worse and from my perspective you are just letting your brain get the best of you because you are letting it spiral out of control. Hopefully you are able to meet up with urologist after your thanksgiving.

I know this will probably fall on deaf ears with you but honestly relax and I hope you relax and have a great thanksgiving and so what if you have to wear a diaper. Who cares and give yourself some love and respect and don’t beat yourself up over something you are doing your best to manage.

Life sucks sometimes but learning to rise up and enjoy it again is what separates the real men from the boys. Just my humble thought.

With Love from Canada and best wishes.

Jason

 

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Hello Exploring Resources,

I've have been incon and in diapers for at least 10 years, I still don't have an official diagnosis. I have found that by utilizing the available technology that I'm able to live a relatively normal life. I work a "9 to 5" I spend time with my child, I function mostly normally. I haven't been camping in years so to the lack of privacy but all in all I love a very normal life while being in diapers. Diapers are a tool to help manage the failability of the human body. You shouldn't view it any differently than someone having a pacemaker or a cast. We are not our health issues though often our health issues can impact the overall quality of life that we experience. Don't be ashamed by having to utilize a tool to manage a newish health issue. Try and be thankful that your wife loves you and isn't put off by this newest turn of events. A genuine person loves us for our personality not our health issues or lack there of.

Ask yourself this, would you have the same love for your wife if she became suddenly incontinent? Would you want to leave her if she were facing the same health issues? You're not less of a man because you are having issues with your bladder. What you did is called projection. You're projecting your personal self image and thinking that's how she views you. I highly doubt that to be the case. As far as Google results go, they always list the worst case scenario. Your best bet is to wait for your Dr. to interpret those results and tell you what they mean. He or she has paid for hundreds of thousands of dollars for an education, in top of that he's(she's) has spent countless thousands of hours helping patients in similar scenarios. Wait for that person to read the results and to tell you what they mean. Until then try and enjoy life and take comfort in the fact that you have a partner that loves you.

 

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Delavan. BRILLIANT!!!!!

 

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welcome to the forum. I really hope it helps.

 

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Welcome to the forum, and good luck with all the tests. It can be annoying, to be sure, but I think the uncertainty is often the worst part. One thing I would add is that all too often, we project our own anxieties on others. Most people don’t really care. In fact, if they knew, they would probably tell you that they know someone else with similar problems. In any event, sounds like you will know soon, given that Thanksgiving is just a few days away.

 

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Thanks for everyone’s input and support. It’s morning now and was dark last night. My frustration was there, but this is truly affecting me mentally.

I was looking for resources and learned all kinds of things and there’s a whirl wind of info from maybe I have cancer, to people who like to be babies and wear diapers (I’m trying to deal with feeling babyish and childish in my scenario), to all kinds of things. I’m not judging that, people can totally do what they want, but it definitely messes with your mind discovering a whole world that surrounds this topic.

I’m glad I found this site. It seems like people have come to terms with the fact that they have to wear diapers the rest of their lives. I’m definitely not there yet at all as I’m trying to solve this problem, but it is a fear of mine that I may have to. In the beginning it was occasional and I figured it would stop but since it’s progressed into a full time thing, it seems like there’s no end in sight.

I’ll keep following along on here.

If there’s any female perspective on what I should say to my wife about it, and how to broach this subject I would be appreciative.

 

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Hey Exploring Resources,

So I can't offer any advice medically. However, I'm processing a bunch of new information that from your posts - and would like to share some personal perspective.

Your symptoms of loss of bladder control started a week after the COVID vaccine. Vaccines typically don't signal a response that dramatic.

You also said that you didn't make it to the bathroom for two weeks. Have you been experiencing Nocturnal Enuresis as well? Someone who is experiencing severe urinary incontinence in the day, typically shouldn't be able to hold all night. I'm no doctor, just judging from my own experiences.

In my own instance, my bladder condition developed gradually and as they worsened (the condition was there prior to worsening) - the feelings of feeling dependant on a diaper and feeling childish kinda hit harder and harder).

If you are experiencing these feelings and have Loss of Bladder Control, I just want to say your not alone- and what your experiencing is completely normal. Growing up with wetting issues and humiliation; it was a huge trigger to my self esteem and my past.

When you HAVE and HAD bladder problems; the body keeps the score.

In regards to people who like to wear diapers and be babies. Thats typically normal to see on a forum dedicated to diapers and incontinence.

However, it's been my experience to see that there are a ton of wonderful, real, kind-hearted people on this forum who are experiencing Urinary Incontinence and because of those people, it helped me get through some of the darkest moments of my life struggling with the condition.

But yes, a medical professional is definetly needed in this instance. I would focus on getting answers, first - as always; there may be an underlying medical condition.

All the best,
Honeecombs.

 

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I apologize if I didn’t describe everything right. I didn’t realize there was another term “nocturnal enuresis” for nighttime. I just sort of lumped everything into the same category.

So, yes I am experiencing that. Towards the beginning of the ordeal that was more occasional, it progressed more rapidly during the day. But, now it’s 24/7. I used to be able to potentially get away with not protecting myself for a few hours if I stayed hyper aware but that’s even gone now.

As embarrassed as I am about the diapers, I do understand the importance of them for me to get through the day. Without them my life would be way worse.

I know most of this is self inflicted, so coping strategies will be the key. I just get that sense that everyone is staring at me and everyone knows. And, I know that’s not the truth, it’s just hard to manage with the idea that this may be a forever situation.

I’m curious what the doctor will say about my results, because my deep dive and entrance into this board was driven by the potential of cancer as stated in my searches.

But again, thanks for everyone’s responses.

 

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Side note: With regards to the timing of the vaccine, my Urologist did say that there’s a growing number of urology cases directly linked to the Covid vaccine. Primarily in women, but definitely has causal effects.

I was skeptical to even tell him about the timing, but it was very pertinent info.

 

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I’m in my mid 30’s and finding myself in the same boat. It does suck, but trust me, from experience it’s better to be protected than not. If you ever what to chat, feel free to send me a message

 

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Hi @ExploringResources,
Welcome to our forum and please, in no shape, form or fashion, thing of yourself as a loser or feel that wearing protection is childish and something to be ashamed of. After all, you're human and as with any system in your body, humans definitely do experience urological malfunctions, perhaps more than you know!! We have all been where you are so you have plenty of good company here!
I know why you feel like you're singled out, but next time you go to a big box store, go to the pharmacy and look in the incontinence section and see for yourself how big a market people with incontinence represent.
You'll probably find that your best protection comes from mail order outlets and they can be found through just a simple internet search.
And I echo all here who have said the best source of medical-type information is your urologist and/or any of the nurses connected with that office. And if you are not satisfied with the information the urologist gives you then please speak up!!!
But all in all, you're going to feel strange for a while when you're getting used to finding the best protection to wear and it's going to feel foreign. But after awhile you do get used to it and then realize it's the best thing you can do for yourself and for your overall comfort and peace of mind.
And as a final guess what? You are a real man and real men can and do experience problems with incontinence just like anybody else! Well after all it takes a real man (and plenty of real women here too!) to come forward as a stranger to a forum like this and tell us your story! And you won't be a stranger for very long here!!

 

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Bill is a great guy; if it wasn't for his words of wisdom and kindness - I don't think I would be where I am now in terms of accepting my bladder control problem. I'm glad to see his kind words shine light in this thread.