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Archives1
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Adam86 -- Sexual assault perpetrators are not of one sex or gender. It is a crime of violence. Just ask anyone who has been incarcerated in any jail or prison around the world. Some people in my extended family have been sexually assaulted by people who also were sexually assaulted or abused. It is a sickness. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not the violator. Violence comes in many forms, even verbal abuse. Taking about it helps to heal the wounds. Loving friends and family members plus perhaps a good counselor (although personally I've never encountered one) can do wonders for helping you through all the issues. If you are a reader, search the library, there are multitudes of helpful resources.
Archives1
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I would like to think that a combination of friends here some sort of biofeedback and other counseling for PTSD could help Adam regain nocturnal blsdder control which was a"small" but significant triumph for a former child bedwetter. We all wish it would just go away like that, then or now!
Sad and angry for you Adam and all of us who experienced abuse. I,myself am sick and tired of the effect it has had on my life!
Sad and angry for you Adam and all of us who experienced abuse. I,myself am sick and tired of the effect it has had on my life!
Archives1
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@adam86 know that you are not alone in feeling what you are feeling, I’m a 35 year old male and I was sexually assaulted when I was 19, so I understand what you’re feeling. I know that since I’ve opened up about what happened to me I’ve found out that I’m not alone. And since I’ve started to get more active on here, it’s made accepting and dealing with my life long continence issues much easier.
Archives1
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@Adam86,
You aren’t alone. I personally know how that screws with your head. Hang in there it does get better. Talk to someone that deals with abuse. It makes a big difference although for most guys it’s had to open up about some things at first but certainly helps with healing.
There is also a book I found that was helpful for me called abused as boys. Hope this helps.
Jim
You aren’t alone. I personally know how that screws with your head. Hang in there it does get better. Talk to someone that deals with abuse. It makes a big difference although for most guys it’s had to open up about some things at first but certainly helps with healing.
There is also a book I found that was helpful for me called abused as boys. Hope this helps.
Jim
Archives1
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Adam, you can see from the responses you are far from alone. I feel for all those out there that haven’t found a safe place like this. My bedwetting is caused by a neurogenic bladder diagnosed as probably since birth. Diapers at night has been my lifelong condition to deal with. Saved my many daytime accidents by going 24/7 15 years ago. Almost 100% of my stress caused by this struggle almost vanished. I don’t broadcast nor hide it from anybody in a need to know position such as sharing living quarters or hotel rooms. Never had an over reaction from anybody. We tend to think it’s a bigger issue than it really is. Other people have their own “conditions” to live with and aren’t concerned with our problems.
Archives1
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Adam, I was sexually assaulted, twice. I suppressed it for years. After all, I am a man, and we don’t get assaulted. It was taking its toll on me until one day, I decided to see a therapist about it. That was about 10 years ago. Within just a few years, my situation improved, I took my assailants to court, and won, and I started to get my life back on track. It is still a process. I still have a ways to go, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. If you ever want to talk, send me a message. I may not have answers, but I am a little bit further in the process and can share some of my experiences.
Archives1
Staff member
Hi Adam, What happened to you is not your fault and please don't agonize over wondering what you could have done instead. You are not a lesser man because of what happened. Instead you are strong and you're showing that just by coming here and telling us your story. Something like that is always hard to admit and the temptation is there to keep it a secret. That's human nature. But keeping it under wraps doesn't help you and it doesn't allow others to help you as well. And you're finding out that when you admit you have these problems that there are plenty of sympathetic ears all around.
Also please don't think there is anything wrong with you. Guess what? You're just human as we all are! But as with everybody else, there are times when we all need help in one form or another. And it takes a mighty big person to acknowledge that and seek it as you are doing.
Although we are here to support you and cheer you one as you go along on this journey, therapy is a good place to turn to so you can get to the root of what happened and it's good to release your emotions. Please don't ever be ashamed of your emotions or of releasing them. A good therapist can help you do that.
Also please don't think there is anything wrong with you. Guess what? You're just human as we all are! But as with everybody else, there are times when we all need help in one form or another. And it takes a mighty big person to acknowledge that and seek it as you are doing.
Although we are here to support you and cheer you one as you go along on this journey, therapy is a good place to turn to so you can get to the root of what happened and it's good to release your emotions. Please don't ever be ashamed of your emotions or of releasing them. A good therapist can help you do that.
Archives1
Staff member
Welcome Adam to the forum. I have undiagnosed PTSD resulting from school toilet abuse and this impacts on me being able to go to the toilet outside from home. It's all about finding a way through it all to get on with life and enjoy what your life has to offer I have found.
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