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Hello, I'm new here. I have some pelvic floor injuries from vaginal births (all the hallmark risks... large babies, one was delivered with vacuum assistance, tearing, etc). I have been diagnosed with levator avulsion and mild bladder and rectal prolapses. I'm thankful because even though I am symptomatic, I know things could be worse and probably will get worse as I approach menopause about a decade from now.

Thankfully, I haven't had any major bathroom accidents yet. I have occasional small urine leaks. I have had a few close calls with bowel movements over the last year, which unfortunately is new for me. I've had bladder issues for a while but never had any poop concerns until recently. My main issue is that I have terrible bathroom anxiety and fear of losing control if I don't constantly make sure that a bathroom is nearby. If I didn't make sure I'm aware of bathrooms while on the road, I do think I'd have an accident. I have always loved to travel, and I also have young children at home. My anxiety has reached a point that I am afraid to get in the car for more than a half hour drive. I've usually been able to laugh off this anxiety, but the COVID pandemic has made it so much worse because many businesses have decided to close their restrooms. The knowledge that a bathroom might not be available when I need one just sends me into panic. Its a vicious cycle because this panic of course speeds up my metabolism and makes me have to go to the bathroom that much more. The fact that I am having bowel emergencies now is what makes things so much worse. I feel like I could muster up the courage to own a bladder accident, but a bowel accident seems so much harder to cover up and laugh off. I've had a few instances in the last few weeks (while picking kids up from school, and also driving to an airport) where I've pulled over and tried to use the restroom at various businesses and ended up having to get back in the car and drive to a few different ones in a total panic. I'm constantly at the mercy of whether businesses will allow restroom access.

My question is: What product would be best for giving me peace of mind in situations when I don't know what access I'll have to restrooms? Situations like longer car rides, airports, busses, boats, theme parks, etc. I feel like I'm constantly holding my family back from fully enjoying fun experiences because I'm so consumed with my bathroom fear. Once, my entire family hopped onto a ferry and I backed out of line at the last minute because I needed to use the restroom. The ferry ride was only 15-20 minutes but when I need to go, even that is not manageable. My youngest son cried on the ferry as he realized that his mama wasn't getting on the boat. I felt horrible, and I'm so tired of this controlling my life. Is there something inconspicuous that I could wear that would offer full protection if I had an emergency and was caught without a bathroom nearby? Anything that could also contain a bowel accident and mask any smell? I'm hoping to find something that would allow me to move beyond this fear a bit and let me just have fun with my family.

I'm not a big fan of medications, but its probably also worth asking whether anyone else who has dealt with bathroom anxiety has found relief from any calming supplements? Or any medications that I could just take to relax my brain only on days that are extremely bathroom stressful (traveling to/from airport, etc)?

Sorry for the novel. Thanks so much for any recommendations!

 

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I’m sorry to hear about your problems, but there are so many products to help you Northshore is a great company that sells many different types of incon products they are so friendly and helpful. I wear diapers and plastic pants I tranquillity ATN diapers they are thin but hold up really well you can wet them more than one time and they hold. Also don’t be afraid to wear plastic pants they are soft and quiet and holds in the smell no one will ever know you have them on.

 

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Hi Crystal,

Not sure this will help but in all honesty if you can get over the fact that I am suggesting a full adult diaper (brief) tape protection as then truly you would be free to do what you want to do and not have to worry if you need to do as you can anywhere. Lol.

I am just not sure you are at that point yet as for myself it took me awhile to face the fact that I need to wear all the time. And I just couldn’t believe how much weight was lifted from my shoulders when I committed.

And at first you think everyone is watching you and noticing everything about you. When the actual fact is everyone is to busy worry about there own stuff they are not paying attention to you. You will just be hyper sensitive lol. Almost 100 percent sure all of us had to learn this in our own ways. I wear now typically abena m4 briefs and I am good for about 4 hrs or 2 large voids.

You may want to try pull ups first however I just found for myself they didn’t have the capacity I needed.

Just try different options, be kind to yourself, and I hope you find a solution that works for you. I always wear Gary wear plastic pants over top as they seem to virtual eliminate the crinkles of plastic diapers.

Hope this is some help to you!

I wish you all the best and good luck.

Cheers

Jason

 

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Hello, I'm new here. I have some pelvic floor injuries from vaginal births (all the hallmark risks... large babies, one was delivered with vacuum assistance, tearing, etc). I have been diagnosed with levator avulsion and mild bladder and rectal prolapses. I'm thankful because even though I am symptomatic, I know things could be worse and probably will get worse as I approach menopause about a decade from now.

Thankfully, I haven't had any major bathroom accidents yet. I have occasional small urine leaks. I have had a few close calls with bowel movements over the last year, which unfortunately is new for me. I've had bladder issues for a while but never had any poop concerns until recently. My main issue is that I have terrible bathroom anxiety and fear of losing control if I don't constantly make sure that a bathroom is nearby. If I didn't make sure I'm aware of bathrooms while on the road, I do think I'd have an accident. I have always loved to travel, and I also have young children at home. My anxiety has reached a point that I am afraid to get in the car for more than a half hour drive. I've usually been able to laugh off this anxiety, but the COVID pandemic has made it so much worse because many businesses have decided to close their restrooms. The knowledge that a bathroom might not be available when I need one just sends me into panic. Its a vicious cycle because this panic of course speeds up my metabolism and makes me have to go to the bathroom that much more. The fact that I am having bowel emergencies now is what makes things so much worse. I feel like I could muster up the courage to own a bladder accident, but a bowel accident seems so much harder to cover up and laugh off. I've had a few instances in the last few weeks (while picking kids up from school, and also driving to an airport) where I've pulled over and tried to use the restroom at various businesses and ended up having to get back in the car and drive to a few different ones in a total panic. I'm constantly at the mercy of whether businesses will allow restroom access.

My question is: What product would be best for giving me peace of mind in situations when I don't know what access I'll have to restrooms? Situations like longer car rides, airports, busses, boats, theme parks, etc. I feel like I'm constantly holding my family back from fully enjoying fun experiences because I'm so consumed with my bathroom fear. Once, my entire family hopped onto a ferry and I backed out of line at the last minute because I needed to use the restroom. The ferry ride was only 15-20 minutes but when I need to go, even that is not manageable. My youngest son cried on the ferry as he realized that his mama wasn't getting on the boat. I felt horrible, and I'm so tired of this controlling my life. Is there something inconspicuous that I could wear that would offer full protection if I had an emergency and was caught without a bathroom nearby? Anything that could also contain a bowel accident and mask any smell? I'm hoping to find something that would allow me to move beyond this fear a bit and let me just have fun with my family.

I'm not a big fan of medications, but its probably also worth asking whether anyone else who has dealt with bathroom anxiety has found relief from any calming supplements? Or any medications that I could just take to relax my brain only on days that are extremely bathroom stressful (traveling to/from airport, etc)?

Sorry for the novel. Thanks so much for any recommendations!

Hi Crystal, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. I would strongly recommend you seek help from an established pelvic floor physical therapist. We are trained to check the function of your pelvic floor muscles. They may be too short (hypertonic) which will cause both bladder and bowel issues including incontinences. Believe it or not, there is hope and your symptoms can be controlled. As for a product, you may want to try RENEW (protection for bowel incontinence). They are not over the counter. I would contact the company directly and ask them to send you a free sample (www.renew-medical.com 888-987-2929)). I wish you the best of luck!

 

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Hi Crystal, Welcome to our forum and you will find that everyone is helpful and no one will ever "put you down." We are very sympathetic and definitely non-judgmental so please say what's on your mind and you will get candid, frank answers.
That said, there was a suggestion up above to call North Shore which is near Chicago. But do a google search for incontinence supplies and you will see many different vendors. Call one or two near you and talk to their customer service. They are used to talking with people with our issues and there is absolutely no stigma attached to it. North Shore is a good one. They (and many other similar places) will send out samples for you to try. Most likely these companies use FedEx or UPS, while others may use U.S. Postal. Even if they say the samples are free, a lot will charge a couple of bucks for shipping and handling. But that's OK. Finding the perfect product for you may take some trial and error, but that's also part of the game. By wearing the right product, I think that will help you be able to enjoy being out and away from home with a much higher degree of comfort.
I hope this helps and definitely wish you well in finding something that works for you!

 

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Thank you all so much for your kind words and recommendations. It's so nice to be able to talk about this with others who understand.

Ppods 651 - I did see a pelvic floor physical therapist, just once last summer. So thankful to have one in my town, as I know some people have trouble finding one! It was really nice to talk with her and to get a more in-depth exam, but in the end I was just given a list of exercises to do. My prolapses are mild enough that I don't need surgery right now, and my urogynecologist said there's not a repair option available for the avulsion yet. I am part of a pelvic organ prolapse group so I get some support there and am aware that some women wear pessaries, though I don't recall my urogyn or PFPT recommending one for me. Although there is some talk of incontinence among that group, there don't seem to be many people who have the level of bathroom anxiety that I have. I think this group is the place to be for that!

Thanks again, everyone. I will check out the products mentioned. Keep the recommendations coming if you think of anything else