@Jim1256
It's good for us to share with each other. The mood component of the Radical Prostatectomy may be the most difficult of all. We read the percentages of positive and negative in somebody's book and are disappointed if our expectations are not met. My day was in Aug.2008. Fifteen years, come August. My surgery was not one of the surgeon's best days and that's enough said. My only remedy for becoming a continent is the sling and I'm not feisty enough for that at 88.
But, there is a very bright side! I have been cancer-free from day one. One night, during COVID, a Mental Health person in New York told us all that the best thing for maintaining mental health is physical movement. So, I have a choice. If I don't want to be depressed, I can make sure I move! Another doctor said in his book: "Drink a half-gallon of water a day to flush out your body's negative chemistry." (Paraphrased.)
One of the worst things for incontinent people is to believe that we will be helped if we don't drink over a thimble of water. (That will surely help us to be dry.) So when another urologist crushed a large kidney stone and removed it just before it was about to make its way into my organ, he began reminding me every time I saw him, to drink two quarts of water a day (spread out).
So, walking (the best) and plenty of water are prime tools for reacting to incontinence and dealing with depression. Drinking water will increase urine? Yes. So, pads may not be sufficient for us to drink all the water we need. So, switch to an external catheter (otherwise called a condom catheter) and a drain tube to connect to a leg bag. Strap it to the calf of the leg. Now...your challenge is to learn how to "fit up" and how to prevent kinks in the drain system so that the condom does not come off. Bladder pressure is not uniform. When you sit up in bed, when you stand up from sitting, there WILL BE A SURGE OF BLADDER PRESSURE.
BEFORE CREATING THE SURGE OF BLADDER PRESSURE, install a good quality penile clamp, to prevent the pressure from breaking the seal on the condom catheter (it is glued on) and encourage the catheter to remove itself and wet you, crotch to shoes. As you learn to do those things, you will decide that you are in charge and you are not helpless.
Do not wear the clamp for over 2 hours at a time. BE SURE to choose a clamp that includes a built-in hump in the bottom piece. The hump will prevent the passage of urine but allow blood to flow on each side of the hump. Not too tight. Not too loose. The clamp will become your best buddy.
Before you go to church or play golf, empty your bladder and install the clamp. You are all set for 2 hours of trouble-free activity. If you are traveling, put on the clamp but with no pressure. Before you get out of the car, adjust the clamp to the 2nd or 3rd notch. You can find the clamps at AMAZON. Find the condom catheters at BYRAM HEALTHCARE or one of the other "biggies."
I have found this to be the best way to manage the flow of urine and keeping dry. (There is a little more detail than this, but this much will give you the main idea. For me, it is sufficient for satisfactory control of urine...driving, shopping, church, golf, and sleeping. For showering, strip down, shower, and rebuild yourself. If you want a safety net, put on a padded pull-up and a maximum absorption pad. Then add the plumbing.
