Managing the emotional aspect of incontinence

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At times, it may seem like no one understands this condition better than you. But with more than 25 million sufferers, you are not alone. Share your frustrations, breakthroughs, and hope here.

 

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Mine started about 20yrs ago with leaking then progressed to accidents.I had to tell my wife which for me was a big male ego letdown.The stigma with having to wear a diaper again and mattress cover was bad.The good thing over the yrs have adjusted still have to wear diaper,but alot relieved.Thanks

 

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So glad you told your wife, Ron. We find that honesty with a spouse or partner is key to removing shame, getting help, and finding the right treatment. Cheers to you!

 

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even tho I have told my wife three years ago I still find my mind driving me nuts in public like I know I am in diapers 24/7 for three years now but I have been humiliated in the past by someone seeing it peek out my pants. I do my best to hide it but I guess I am stilled shamed. my wife tells me she is ok with me being in diapers and has been a huge support but,,, I guess I am still having a hard time excepting it. being at work drives me nuts to. is there anything that I can do to ease my mnd and live life without the constant worry of wearing a diaper and someone seeing it???

thanks embarrised",1427820165

 

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Shawn, that would be hard if you feel like everyone can see it and knows. You're not alone though. Over 25 M Americans deal with bladder and bowel leakage and concerns-- over 10M of those people are men.

 

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20 yr old female here. I think it's been happening ever since I started college last year, but I only realized it recently that the smell coming from my sheets wasn't sweat and was actually urine. I was shocked when I looked at the mattress pad to confirm and see it yellow. I cried very hard, as I am so embarrassed about this. I have no idea what to do, and the health clinic at my school is not able to deal with something like this. I go to the bathroom regularly before I go to sleep and it still happens. When I change my sheets after urinating in them, I find that I wake up only to have wet my newly cleaned sheets. This is causing me so much stress and anxiety in an already stressful environment and situation.

I'm someone who suffers constantly from urinary tract infections, and I don't know if the one I have has ever really gone away. I've been suffering from them since my second semester of my first year of college. Could this be a reason why this is happening? I always have an urgency to urinate when I have a UTI, and I'm wondering if this could have something to do with me urinating in my sleep?

If anyone could provide some clarity or support, that would be greatly appreciated.

 

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I should add that this only occurs at school, not while I am traveling or at home.

 

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@UrinationProblem33 -- have you told your doctor at all? We can't make medical judgements or assumptions so your guess as to the cause would be as good as ours.

We can say that bedwetting, or going the bathroom in bed during sleep, is more common that you'd think. 2% of adults deal with this. We recommend keeping a diary of instances and consider monitoring your consumption of diuretics (i.e. coffee, tea). Knowing your stressors or stress triggers is also something to note. If you're particularly stressed at school--more so than usual-- there could be a correlation. See more here: http://www.nafc.org/bedwetting

 

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Im 19 and wet the bed. So your not alone. Im here for you. Its interesting that it only happens when your at school. I would think it has to do with stress but who knows maybe see a doctor. Its okay dont worry your arent alone trust me

 

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Huge high five to @lovegirl1212 for sharing support!

 

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I suffer with bipolar disorder and nocturnal enuresis. I have done all my life I am about to turn 27. I'm the first one in my family to have this rotten illness and over the years I've been through some pretty tough times with it. On a positive note im no longer embarrassed by it and I don't bother trying to hide it anymore. There are plenty of people in the world with far worse diseases than bedwetting. People who tease are just idiot's, after all we don't do it on purpose.

 

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Joel-- great, positive attitude! Keep on keepin' on with the honesty and humility. Hope our site can be a resource to you!

 

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My boyfriend who is 21 years old has been suffering from bed wetting for his whole life. We have been dating for 4 years but I only found out about this last year when we started having sleepovers. The first time it happened he had been drinking so I just assumed he was very intoxicated and had wet the bed due to that. However, it happened again on another night when he wasn't drinking so I questioned him about it. He was so upset and I knew it was very difficult for him to tell me and I was very supportive of him in the beginning because he told me he was working to fix the problem. However, he has stopped trying to take control of his situation. I had to beg him to go to the doctor and try treatment and when he finally made an appointment and received a prescription, he stopped after he finished his first prescription and has not returned to the doctor despite the fact that he continues to wet the bed. He is someone that I deeply care about and who I want a future with, however his bed wetting is a serious problem for me, especially because he doesn't seem to want to help himself. I feel like he has given up and every time I try to ask him to make another appointment or try a new treatment he gets very upset and frustrated with me. I understand that it must be very embarrassing for him and a huge hit to his ego but I can't let it continue for the sake of our relationship and future together. How can I get him to seek treatment again and continue with the doctor's suggestions?

 

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I am 19 and have dealt with this my whole life. As a child, my mom told me she did it too up until her freshman year of high school which is frustrating for me since I just graduated. I know my stressors and avoid caffeine past 2 in the afternoon anyways but that doesn't seem to help. I am terrified of dating because of what they would think if they found out. I've not talked with my dr about it from embarrassment and need to find a way to do so. I hate the fact that it's always happening. There've been days when I go to the store to buy diapers but can't grab the courage to do so. My work has me traveling overnight occasionally which terrifies me. I guess what I'm saying is that I need advice. Help?

 

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@Heather-- great to hear from you. Your worries and frustrations are totally understandable.

Our first and most firm piece of advice would be approaching your doctor with your concerns. There are medications that can help a myriad of incontinence symptoms. He/she will be able to prescribe the best option for you.

Our second piece of advice would be for you to practice daily or at the very least, weekly, pelvic floor exercises. We have a few blog posts about various exercises and physical tips on our site. Here's one to start: www.nafc.org/nurse-blog/2015/1/27/its-all-about-the-base?rq=pelvic%20floor

To really get to the nut of the problem though, and that is the emotional component, we strongly advise continuing conversations like these and being patient with yourself and your body.

 

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My 17 yr old daughter wets at night. She has high pressure in her bladder. She is going through a treatment now, where they insert a very thin needle into a nerve near her ankle and it's supposed to stimulate the bladder to work properly. It doesn't seem to be working. The doctor will try botox injections as soon as she turns 18. This has affected her life in that she has never gone to came, or has had very few friends where she could have sleepovers. She is almost afraid to drink, for fear of wetting. She is fine during the day. It's complicated.

 

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I am 55 and have been bed wetting now for 10 years due to a severe over active bladder. It's made worse by sleep apnea because my cpap puts me into a very deep REM sleep and I don't wake up when I need to pee which is usually numerous times per night. Tried meds but side effects were bad. Won't do Botox or the pacemaker thing. Think both options are worse than having to wear diapers. Stinks from a dating perspective and I don't like wearing diapers to work but sometimes have to. Thing I hate the most is the randomness of daytime urges which result in accidents and wet pants in public. It happens randomly so I don't wear diapers 24/7, although it has been suggested by my doctors. How do people deal with the ongoing anxiety of public accidents - like walking into a cold supermarket and then having the violent urge to pee which I can't control and wind up wetting myself?

 

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just wondering if anyone on here has tried or use vagina wgts for their stress incontinence?

 

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Our son was not a bedwetter until he turned 12 years old, he is now 15.5 and wets the bed every night. I've always thought, in our sons case, this was due to our move to a new city, home and school. Also, considering his age, puberty may be a cause. When he was 12, we took him to our chiropractor but this was not helping.

We have always protected our son by keeping him home from overnight activities, but finally decided this was not fair. He went to camp for the first time a month ago, 8 hours away from home, for a whole week. I sent him with extra sheets and plenty of clothes. When he came home, I didn't ask him if he had any accidents, I just threw everything in the wash. Since camp, he has gone on other over night activities and is enjoying being with other people.

I guess we're hoping that everything will just fall in place as he matures.....Advice?

 

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Susan - If I was your sons parent I'd talk to your son about his experiences and whether he's having accidents. I'd want to monitor his progress and support him when things weren't going right. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away.