Having a tough time with this.

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I agree with everything people have said here, especially the idea of discussing it with a therapist. It would also help to have a partner or close friend who knows, with whom you can share your concerns and even just vent. There is nothing like having an understanding shoulder to cry on.

 

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@Mark0879
Mark, this is Dan, 88 years old, had prostate surgery in August 2008, 14+ years ago. The surgery damaged nerves in a way that normal healing is not expected to take place. I have concentrated on studying and perfecting ways of controlling the expected flow of urine. Also, what can we do about discouragement and depression? Did you have surgery or an accident that caused the incontinence?

You need a steady connection with a very good urologist who will study the most likely cause of your incontinence. Read everything that's been published on this website. Connect with the National Library of Medicine. (www.NLM.com) Type in: incontinence and read articles that interest you. NLM is the largest medical library in the world and is best accessed through your computer.

To begin controlling incontinence, go online to AMAZON, WALMART, or a similar place, and get a supply of maximum-capacity pads and pullup panties with liners built in. Pads and Pull-ups are the staples of controlling incontinence. BUT IN MY OPINION (based on 14 years of frustrating experience) pads and pull-ups are only the starting place until you can do better.

A better, more dependable system of controlling incontinence is the external catheter (condom catheter) in connection with a drain tube to a 19oz leg bag, mounted on the calf of the leg. (Some prefer to mount the bag on the thigh but I don't prefer that.) I suggest that you begin with the pads and pullups and as soon as possible, switch over to the condom catheter and 19oz leg bag. THIS IS NOT COMPLETE INFORMATION but will give you a birds-eye view of what to look for.

Wishing you the best! There is a mental health side to this. If you are able to walk, try to walk 30 minutes a day with good, comfortable walking shoes. Walking is one of the best therapies for dealing with discouragement and depression.

 

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Started going more over time. Rushing to get there more often. Had accident on train 2 weeks ago and wet bed a week or so later. Was scared and confused. Came on here 2 nights ago, got help and support, Thank God. I made Dr appointment next day and realized that I have to wear protection everywhere I go until I hopefully find a solution in the future. It’s not easy for me right now, but I’m trying.

 

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No it's not always easy Optimist. The hateful sensation of not being in control, the potential embarrassment and the impact on your emotional health and well being. It is important for us to be honest with ourselves and others. I still use a light pad in the mornings but as the day progresses my leakage gets a bit worse especially if I'm doing more strenuous work. At that stage I often revert to an external catheter and thigh bag. Last night in the middle of a downpour I headed off to collect six chairs my wife had bought. Loading the trailer and lifting the heavy chairs I knew would probably cause more incontinence. I didn't get home until 11.30 pm. Although I just wore a light pad all day I knew I needed more support for that task. The conveen provided me with the confidence to get on with the job. The point of this story is to highlight the fact the you find ways to manage these situations. Being honest with yourself is the first important step and then you can move forward with solutions. Not always easy, but you learn how to manage.

 

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Hi Optemest,
Like you I’ve had incontinence set in sooner than I expected in life, but with the proper precautions, no one has noticed or said anything about it to me. Whatever your solutions are to manage it, look for discreet products that manage the condition and you’ll do fine. Honestly, it’s more in the head of the person suffering incontinence than anything else, and most people are too busy to notice what you’re wearing.

Don’t worry about it and live life to the fullest! Best of luck.