Has anyone ever felt this way?

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Hey guys so I spoke with my neurologist and I’m getting closer to getting answers even though it’s not the answers that are ideal. He has not researched cerebral palsy (my disability) in years so I asked him to look up the latest research on adulthood and cerebral palsy. According to a most recent conference I saw on YouTube dated 2018, they are beginning to re-classify cerebral palsy as “progressive“ because they are finding that despite average life expectancy, people with cerebral palsy may experience slight functional deterioration as they age.

I’m kind of still in denial about my bladder spasms and my need for pull-ups. I just wish that incontinence problems were not as stigmatzed as it is now. I"m hoping that in December, he can provide a more updated version of the science behind cerebral palsy. One improvement I have noticed is that I am getting better at changing when I am wet rather than lying to myself that I am dry. I sometimes get triggered when I go to the department store and see pull-ups for small children.

i am also gay so hopefully I find a boyfriend that is ok with water sports. I'm just nervous about my next appointment in December because I know what he will probably tell me but I wish I knew this earlier.

 

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Just try to keep an open heart and a nice man may come along for you - don’t count on it, but stay open to it

Sorry to hear you have CP. Hang in there; accepting and dealing with incontinence does get easier but it takes a long time. I’ve had it for 6.5 years but still can’t fully admit to a date that I’m incontinent. But I hope I’ll get there.

It took me a couple of years to admit/decide I needed bedpads, pull-ups and tactics for every night, permanently. My family and good friends all know about it now. Hopefully I can soon admit it to this new guy I’m dating.

 

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@snow Hey if it’s ok, I’d like to be friends with you.

 

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HI @rdouga1 and @snow, I really understand how hard it is to tell a potential significant other about your incontinence issues. If I had a significant other waiting in the wings now I would feel the same way. But believe me there are much worse things you can tell someone you're interested in. I can tell stories of one instance (it wasn't dealing with incontinence but something that was a real deal-breaker nonetheless!) And I was on the receiving end of that one!
But when contemplating telling someone more about you, try to "read" the other person and try to sense what his (or her) mood is. It's better to talk about your issues when he's receptive and more relaxed. If he's feeling stressed about something like finances (Lord only knows I stress about that enough myself!) or other personal issues that wouldn't be the time to do it. At that point you talk about what's bugging him (or her). Then when he is open to you and not stressing about something then that is the time to talk about your issue. Just have to sense the mood and act accordingly!!
And Snow, you are on the cusp of finding just the right time to tell your friend. I know it's like taking a leap off into the unknown, but I know you'll do just fine!! It'll go a lot easier than you thought! You'll be able to sense that time. Trust me when I say there are a lot worse things you can tell a potential significant other!
Compared to a lot of other issues that one could tell a significant other, incontinence is just peanuts!!!

 

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@Chrisindiapers Yes, of course!

 

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@rdouga1 hey, someone is out there for you, it's just the matter of the right time and all will become clear to you. Just stop worrying about it and it will happen as it did for me and we are now 11 years happily partnered and engaged.

 

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@snow would it be ok to give you and post my cell phone number?

 

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@Chrisindiapers Hello. I’m not comfortable communicating by phone but you can certainly send me a private message here.

 

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@snow ok no problem.

 

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@snow Hi, hope I didn’t scare you. If I did I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I also have a Developmental and Intellectual disability and live in a host home. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or not but I sent you a private message to say hi and tell a little about myself. I really am a pretty good guy and a believer in Jesus. I know you never know over the internet. Take care

 

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@Chrisindiapers I would give snow some time in case she is slow to respond or busy. It is probably more of a miscommunication.

 

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@ICGamer ok thank you for the help

 

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I also have autism + dd so fighting with it and also the incontinence is sometimes a load.

 

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Here is an article that i ran across yesterday about CP and aging. I am in the same scenario as you, a little later in life i think (i'm 43). I went through it all with my doc. After lots of tests, they said it has to be related to my CP, because everything else was ruled out. I am on a facebook group for adults with CP. Incontinence comes up a lot there, so it is very common for people with CP.

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