Acceptance process?

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@rdouga1 I can relate, in spite of the fact I wore nappies for bedwetting as a kid, I just couldn't get used to them when I had to go back to them as an adult. I found walking weird and was always self-conscious. I also couldn't get comfortable at night.

All I'll say is that it gets easier over time. I've been using a combination of various products for a couple of years and since my bladder and bowel issues worsened last summer, I've been in quite bulky nappies 24/7. I just see them as my underwear now and think nothing of wearing them and they've stopped feeling bulky. I think going about your daily life and realising no one can notice also helps as I can remember the initial fear of going out in public.

Whilst I do feel embarrassed about it and do feel down from time to time, not having a constant urine smell following me around is a huge plus as is not being terrified to leave the house when I have an IBS flare up. The amount of laundry I do is greatly reduced too.

I guess ultimately there are a lot of connotations with nappies/diapers, none of them good but I just see them as a tool to solve a problem. I figure that they're just pads to soak up accidents so don't get the stigma. I think what also probably helps with me is that I've always had incontinence issues to some degree and having not used protection for years, it's clear how much easier life is when using it.

 

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I only have urinary incontinence and I wear diapers all the time. I have not been able to get comfortable wearing them.

 

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I think overtime it just eventually that one is comfortable wearing.

Graphicedge for you?

I guess the question is are you just mentally not comfortable with wearing. Or are you not physically comfortable in the protection you wear. If it’s not being physically comfortable I would suggest switching brands of protection.

If it’s regarding not comfortable mentally honestly perhaps you are overthinking it and becoming your own worse enemy. Because why is it a problem for you? Just curious if myself or Others on this forum can offer you different perspectives of how to think about it and hopefully remove the mental anguish for yourself.

Cheers Jason

 

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Hi guys,

Thank you for all the responses, I can tell that you really care about each other!

Jason, I think that the problem for me is getting mentally comfortable with wearing them. When I went to the mall yesterday with my helper, I noticed that my life was a lot easier because I could just go in my pants if I needed to instead of the hassle of transferring in and out of my wheelchair. I felt a lot happier and I feel like my quality of life has improved because I’m able to partake in more activities.

My gut is telling me that this is the right thing to do in order for me to go out more but it feels weird because I’ve been using the restroom in public for 20 years so it’s puzzling that my body feels like it’s necessary and good for me to make this change.

 

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Rdouga1 exactly one just has to realize the massive benefits using protection and how ones life has improved just from wearing the protection. People need to avoid letting their minds spiral out of control and horrible self talk.

 

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Hi again, Rory, It does take time to get used to it but get used to it you will! I mean there's no denying you have to go through a learning curve (for lack of a better analogy) but you will know it when that happens and then you'll wonder "how in the world did I ever get along without wearing them before???? So the best thing to do is to .....just do it! Find a product you're most comfortable with and that will make things easier!

 

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Jason, I am totally incontinent (urinary) and I am constantly in pain from the two stents I have. They now cause constant bleeding. Its more than just constantly being in wet diapers.
So I also have uti after uti. I am constantly on antibiotics which cause me to have problems with my peg tube which is used to aspirate my stomach because I have no colon and very short small bowel

I'm tired of hurting and constantly being wet. Ive tried many different diapers. Some are better than others but if you are constantly urinating you just are always wet.

So next week I am going to have two neph tubes put in and the stents taken out. Yes, its not a perfect solution, but for me I feel it will be better.

 

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Hi guys (again)!

Thank you for everything! I think it will take some time to get used to it and overcome psychological barriers. Do any of you have ideas on how to figure out why this is the right thing to do? It just feels weird since I’m toilet trained and I could use the public restroom if I tried but that would hinder my activity (aaggh lol).

I know I’m overthinking it but it’s just weird.

 

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Hi guys,

So my name is Rory and I am new to this forum. I have moderate cerebral palsy and decided to start wearing protective underwear/pull-ups (as a just in case) and they help with confidence but they feel weird. Does anyone know some tips on how to get used to them and view it as a sign of progression rather than regression? I feel like my quality of life has improved but it feels different.

I would say that the acceptance process is the hardest thing to get over. I know that it has been for me.

I am 36, was super active at work before having surgery for diverticulitis in February 2019. By July I was back to work at a new job but it proved to be too much for my system. I ended up in the er more times than I can count and it all ended in May of 2020 when everything went crazy. I suffer from dual incontinence both bladder and bowel. For me, the bladder side was not as hard to accept because I suffered from bedwetting since my teen years. But the bowel issues and pain associated with what is going on with my system are too much some days.

My acceptance process was just deciding that my system is not able to make it so that I can work because I cannot stay upright and I have multiple accidents each day. I have more testing coming up and hope to get more answers as to what can be done but have accepted that this is my life.

Just live your life and be the best you that you can be.

 

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Hi, FlGuy,I just want to say in reading your post just above, your advice was definitely spot on!!! An acceptance process does not happen overnight but it evolves gradually and then you have the answer on what you need (or don't need) to do. It may be a shock to realize that things aren't as they used to be but at that point you have arrived at a new normal. I think it happens to all of us at one time or another. I hope the testing that you are facing will give you the answers that you need but you are so right in accepting that this is now your life! And I agree wholeheartedly to just live your life and be the best you can be! No one can ask for more!!