Fear of letting undergarments do their job

[Archives1]

Along with my incontinence problems as far as if I can get a stream started, if I can empty fully when I want to, and trying to avoid a sudden unexpected gush… I have run into another problem when using incontinence undergarments when I am not near a restroom. I develop a fear of letting some urine go when I feel the urge; you know, at least let some stress off of my bladder. I feel the spasm but hold back on purpose which is dangerous. My fear is that I will just eventually empty only when wearing a diaper. The psychological thing is that there is a shame developed in peeing yourself as a child, so letting the diaper do it’s job with little releases turns into a big mess once the bladder says “enough” to the prostate squeezing on the urethra. Am I alone? How do I address this?

 

[Archives1]

I'm female but I relate to the fear

 

[Archives1]

Could you have your prostate out? Removed? My husband did because he had cancer but it certainly helped him a great deal in terms of bouts of prostatitis and incontinence.

 

[Archives1]

I am in the process of being seen by an urologist to see if it is viable. The first response that I got was, “don’t push for removing it unless it’s cancer” but with the persisting issues, I have been asked to think about it carefully. There is no going back… I am rather young to go that radical without it being cancer.

 

[Archives1]

Hi MAM,

Unless it is cancerous, I would seriously advise against having your prostate removed. There is no going back (I wish there was, believe me.) and the after effects of the removal, ED and incontinence, are very long lasting and could possibly be permanent without more surgery and implants. I don't mean to scare you, but even though I am cancer free at this time, I believe I should have tried another treatment other than a radical prostatectomy for my prostate cancer.

 

[Archives1]

Hi MAM,

Unless it is cancerous, I would seriously advise against having your prostate removed. There is no going back (I wish there was, believe me.) and the after effects of the removal, ED and incontinence, are very long lasting and could possibly be permanent without more surgery and implants. I don't mean to scare you, but even though I am cancer free at this time, I believe I should have tried another treatment other than a radical prostatectomy for my prostate cancer.

I have heard so much of the same forewarning from other people. Some of those things don’t scare me, but I am not going to go that radical unless it truly is untreatable otherwise.

 

[Archives1]

You might consider taking the medication that is supposed to shrink the prostate gland. I can't recall the name of the medication.

 

[Archives1]

You might consider taking the medication that is supposed to shrink the prostate gland. I can't recall the name of the medication.

I was on one of them and it didn’t do anything after the first course, so I’m now exploring what to do next, per urologist’s suggestions.

 

[Archives1]

Are you experiencing urinary retention from an enlarged prostate and is that why it is dangerous to hold on? I can’t relate to that specific issue as I don’t get much time between my urges and involuntary emptying, but can definitely relate to that worry around operant conditioning/ unconscious training of my bladder to let go when protected. Maybe a degree of that does occur, but the reason why we start wearing incontinence products is because we are leaking, so it’s not like the protection is unnecessary.

 

[Archives1]

Are you experiencing urinary retention from an enlarged prostate and is that why it is dangerous to hold on? I can’t relate to that specific issue as I don’t get much time between my urges and involuntary emptying, but can definitely relate to that worry around operant conditioning/ unconscious training of my bladder to let go when protected. Maybe a degree of that does occur, but the reason why we start wearing incontinence products is because we are leaking, so it’s not like the protection is unnecessary.

I am experiencing the retention to some degree. But the main issue is that I feel like I may become so dependent on needing to fully void instead of just slowly letting urine out so the extreme protection has time to absorb. Also there’s somewhat of a feeling of shame when going in a diaper.

 

[Archives1]

Another horrible night for me. I fell asleep, believing that the overnight diaper would be there to do its thing. Halfway through the night, I woke up with the need to head to the bathroom badly. I got up and went to the bathroom instead of just pushing it into the diaper. I sat there for 20 minutes with a few dribbles going into the toilet.

I finally thought to myself, “Forget this, if I am only dribbling a couple drops after waking up with the urge, I am going to ditch the diaper and just wear normal underwear.” My thought was that if I am psychologically hesitant to relieve myself in a diaper, then it’s no use. I managed to not release a full void, but I tossed and turned and got up every 30 minutes to dribble a few more drops. I decided I had enough at 7 am so I forced a natural release by running the faucet. The lack of sleep… desperate measures… SIGH!