Does anyone give into the urge

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I have a question - been dealing with OAB for a little while - it seems to be getting worse. I'll be at my desk at work, or in a conference room, or even presenting in front of people and I'll get a desperate urge to pee. I have run out of the room only to lose some amount along the way, if I focus and really try to hold it - the urge will calm and I'll lose a bit - only after a look of panic for about 30 seconds in front of all. I do wear a full diaper (although the lite version) - and have not tried just letting go, as I can seem to stop after it starts (usually). I don't feel right just giving in and using the diaper. Does anyone have any thoughts?

 

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I admit I do give in and use my nappy. Sometimes I’m in situations where I can’t leave what I’m doing and that is the only way to relieve the discomfort and focus again . Driving is a particularly challenging situation if stuck in traffic and can’t Get to a toilet

 

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@sbaughman001 I have been in your situation many times, but getting better at it; except when my bladder decides to flush without warning. I admit that I fought the urge when first using diapers, but began to just let enough out to get the urge to stop. It felt odd at first but feels better than the pain of holding it in. The problem one can run into is letting go but exceeding the capacity of the diaper… that takes practice.

 

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So if there's a chance I can still get to the bathroom, of course I'll try. If that is not possible, then I let it run. Apart from the fact that I have anyway difficulties to stop it when it runs, everything else is counterproductive with me, because if the bladder is of the opinion to bitch around, then she does that usually until she is empty. Means I have the same problem 10 minutes later again - and that usually bothers me much more.

 

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Sometimes if I'm far from a toilet or unable to leave what I'm doing. I dislike having that happen, but needs must when the bladder drives.

My bladder problems are such that the pain and pressure ramp up until I'm not able to endure it any longer. If I wait it out it'll subside, but if I'm not able to get to a restroom then it'll be back stronger within moments.

 

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As a sidebar thought, does anyone feel shame when doing it? I always held back because I was taught that “bad boys” pee their underwear once I got to the toilet training stage. I also didn’t like the warm liquid feeling. Shame is not something that crosses my mind anymore, but was just curious as to how others feel…

 

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@MAM: Shame - no, but I am often frustrated. There are situations where I know that there is no other way - I'm glad that there are now well-functioning aids - even if that is anything but great. But it's really frustrating when I think "I'll make it" and then it doesn't work out - that often gets me down.

 

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Sbaughman, My symptoms are very much like those you describe. Whenever I am near enough to a toilet, I use the toilet. But if I can't get there within a minute or two, I use my diaper. I also no longer bother getting up three or four times a night to go to the bathroom and just use my diaper.

 

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@Inconinmiss You must have really voluminous allowance in your diapers if you can void multiple times during the night. I max my diaper out in one void if I tell myself to not get up. My sheets and mattress would be soaked after I maxed out my diaper, and I use an overnight diaper too.

 

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@sbaughman001 I can sometimes put it off for a few minutes, but unless Im close to a toilet I have learnt that it is easier to let go than to cope with the spasms. a painful spasm can cause me to bend over and cause people to ask if I am ok. I wear tena maxi and trust that they will cope with a full bladder leak.

 

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I regularly get the urge while working at my desk. I
try to get to the bathroom in a common hallway outside of the office. When I stand, too many times the kink in the pipes of sitting relaxes and I find I'm wetting as I walk to the bathroom. I guess it is like my watch and just tells me I have sat too long and need to get ip and move around. I use that time to walk and take a break now.

 

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@sbaughman001 and @MAM, The built in shame is tough programming to reconcile with.

Like others and you, my bladder when it spasms/urges can create enormous instability with the muscles trying to tuck in (kind of like a kegel) to hold it, losing it (leak), retightening, losing,… Beats you up at the end of a bad day. So, sometimes, yeah, I need a vacation and don’t fight it.

 

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I actually just finished a long project for my job today, sitting at my home office desk, and knew I needed to go after not getting up in about an hour. I said, “Screw it!” My diaper held, thank goodness, but the feeling of warm liquid up against my skin still is not all that enjoyable, but at least the urgency is gone.

 

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When my Botox wears off and I'm back to wanting to pee every 20 mins, sometimes I will just give in and use my pad.i don't feel shame, just relief I don't have to keep walking to the toilet every half hour.

 

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I do if I get a strong urge and know that I won’t have bathroom access until after it is too late. I’ll try to hold for as long as possible, but if I feel like my need to go is visible to others, I do let go and let the nappy do the work. It is less embarrassing for me to use incontinence products discretely than to go from a state of visible pee desperation to suddenly relaxing and having everyone around me know that I haven’t made it to the bathroom in time. I will also let go if I’m the middle of something important that would be impacted by me leaving to use the bathroom, e.g. presentations, exams.

 

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@sbaughman001 I almost never give in but sometimes like at a crowded concert with a billion stairs between me and the loo, I have no choice. I always feel guilty when I do it intentionally, but not when it’s a true accident.

Part of what happens in say, the concert experience, isn’t just my bladder, it’s that my knees are so decrepit I take a long time on stairs.

 

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I always feel some guilt and shame when I choose to use the protection I'm wearing. But without it there would be almost nothing I could do out of the house.
Using my pad is definitely the lesser of two evils.

 

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I no longer feel any shame. After 10 years of incontinence and enuresis it just becomes normal to rely on my nappies.

 

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I still try to hold it or even make it to the toilet. But sometimes I can’t I’m in diapers now for over most of my life. If I can’t hold it or it just happens that’s why I wear diapers. I really don’t like wearing diapers but better the wet pants.

 

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@Jayindiapers hi Jay, Im in a similar position to you. If I risk just using an insert pad, that will be the day that I have a full flood. I dont take the risk any more and use a tena maxi every day. Some days I just dribble a bit and on a bad day, I will get through 3-4 tena diapers. As you say this is better than getting wet in public.