Diapered at a Music Festival

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I’m going to a music festival next weekend and will need to be diapered for it. I won’t be able to hold on if I get an urge on the bus trip there or back, or while queuing to use a portaloo, and my control always diminished when alcohol is in the mix.

Because I don’t want to deal with the drama of changing several times in gross facilities that lack both space and privacy I am considering wearing my disposable overnight diapers (Molicare maxi plastic backed) rather than my daytime ones. I’ve worn the Molicares in public a couple of times during travel days. I was a bit self-conscious as I felt like the bulge at the front was noticeable and that the diaper imprint could be seen at the back when I was walking, but they lasted for about 7 hours before I felt like I was swimming in them, compared to about three hours for my daytime ones. I’m particularly anxious because it would be my first experience being heavily diapered in front of my friends. We’re close enough that they would probably ask, and so far only medical professionals, and possibly a family member, know about my incontinence.

Incontinence shouldn’t dictate what activities I participate in, but I find myself wondering whether it’s worth the stress. Have many people on this forum successfully navigated incontinence at a music festival or other outdoor event? Do you have any pointers?

Thanks in advance.

 

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I went to a concert Friday night - left at 3 home by 11. What I did was a pad (abena https://www.abena.com/health-care/incontinence-products/abri-san-abena-san) inside of a overnight diaper. I wear a pair of shaping panties over the top of that, then a onesie. I dress a bit more loose than usual to allow for the bulk. My wife and the party we were with all wanted dinner before hand, so just before leaving the restaurant, i ditched the pad, and adhered the tapes of the diaper up (had not beforehand just tucked the tapes and sides into the panty as I brought it up. I took a small travel size power bottle and liberally applied once the tapes were done (not before, you will never win that battle). The diaper lasted the rest of the concert and we had a good time. I left a spare in the vehicle just in case, but overall it went well. It is a bit bulky to start and especially right before ditching the pad, but I am ok with it and to hell with the guy behind thinks of my butt anymore. Stop looking if you are offended. I would rather have fun and live life than be stuck at home. I wish you the best in finding a solution, but do not avoid life.

 

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Most big festivals or public events have first aid stations. They may have a more reasonable facility to take care of things if you need to. It’s at least worth looking for the med station if you need that. Before i had incon issues I went to an air show and got very over heated. I sat in the aid station and drank some water. They had a private handicap restroom in addition to the med stuff.

 

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After 30 years of incontinence and needing to wear diapers I’ve done just about any social event you might imagine including concerts, nights out on the town, extensive travel etc.
I think this may sound like over simplification, but who cares what underwear you are wearing as long as you are living your best life! If you flip this around and chose to wear nothing, or just enough protection to get by, you’ll not only be worrying the whole time or explaining and apologizing when you peed all over and didn’t take care of your health issues like an adult.
Sorry if I sound a bit blunt, but that is many of our realities. After the wreck I swore this was not going to rule my life, and I’ve never let it. You might want to tell those that you are with, but at a music festival you’ll probably never see the strangers again anyway. If I let strangers opinions dictate my life, I don’t think that would be a very good life!
For an event like you are going to, I usually use a Megamax with a small booster in it, when the booster gets wet toss it as it’s much easier than changing everything. I always wear a waterproof pant over top to prevent leaks or smells which can creep up on a long day.
Most importantly, do what will allow you to go enjoy yourself! There are far worse things than bladder leaks! There’s a saying I’ve adopted “Get busy living, or get busy dying the choice is yours”! I always choose living the best I can!
Good luck, have fun!

 

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You may not know it, but I'm pretty sure you would not be only one wearing some kind of protection.

 

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You are all right. I have been incontinent a long time and wear diapers 24/7. I’ve been to many events outdoors and indoors that lasted 8-10 hours. I always wear my Abri-Form L4 and include a pad. When the pad get wet, toss it. I sometimes wear plastic pants if not too hot out. Then I wear a onesie to keep from sagging. I also wear a pair of loose sweat pants. Yes the bulk does show a little but I have never had anybody ask about the bulk. Most people who know me know about me needing diapers and don’t care. Plus, most large outside events have a medical station and they have handicap restrooms. My right leg was amputated and most people are more curious about my leg than anything else. I often get asked about that. Nobody worth caring about cares about the type of underwear you have on. If they do ask, I’ll tell them I wear diapers and they usually ask me why. It creates an opportunity to make a new friend. I am not embarrassed about my diapers. Only ignorant or obtuse people care about them and I don’t care about them. Like the other respondents, I live my life to its fullest and enjoy my life. I hope this helps. Enjoy yourself and try to educate people about incontinence. It helps us all. Thanks for asking.

 

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Wear your overnight diaper with a pad, and have a great time on your night out.

 

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Might want to try an experiment at home for seven hours with a quality baby diaper with a couple slits to release excess urine to diaper in a regular day brief and some sort of close fitting boxers or briefs over to hold it all in place.
The baby diaper (don't get the off brand but get a name brand size two) is the most amazing absorbent product and would not protrude front or rear
You can put a folded unused one and a small plastic sack in your backpack or whatever and change baby diaper in a porta potty leaving the use one insack tied up

 

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@Rowan123 Sounds like a blast. Enjoy!

Seems there are three parts of your journey 1) the bus ride there, 2) the event, and 3) returning. Each would be a timely point to refresh yourself, like everyone else there.

 

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@Rowan123 I recommend avoiding alcohol, which will make you pee much more.

 

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@Rowan123 I'd be interesting to hear how it goes! I used to love going to music festivals. I've always been meaning to go back to Wacken Open Air in Germany which was the last big open air one I went to. Can't see myself doing it in a wheelchair though.

The main issue from what you've posted does seem about being able to change. I always get skin issues if I don't change quickly enough. Using a really high capacity product (Megamax and Tykables seem to be the highest capacity out there - the latter's prints can be off-putting but I've found the Camo ones look innocuous) with a big booster would probably be the best bet. I'd echo asking about a med station. There may be somewhere you can go and change if you ask the organisers. Over here in the UK people seem to be getting better at that - there are Changing Places facilities for the shows at Hyde Park now (and so may try and head to one there!).

As for the discretion side of things, I still feel awkward if I'm around people I know. The downside of going the not changing route would mean that bulkier products are more noticeable and will expand after accidents. That being said, I've found with the right wardrobe choices it isn't too bad. The best clothing hack I've discovered recently is wearing trousers/shorts with a back elasticated waist. They can be an absolute nightmare to find but find fully elasticated waists tend to just fall down after a while meaning big issues with peekage over the waistband and regular wasitbands just feel too tight and so the bulk can be more obvious. Plus, they look like regular trousers from the front which is good for self-confidence. Another option would be getting a popper vest to wear under your t-shirt so that peekage is eliminated entirely.

Hope this helps! Be sure to let us know how it goes!

 

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Thanks everyone for your advice. I did not even consider that there might be a medical tent with an accessible toilet. I will make some inquiries to find out what will be there. If I have a suitable place to change that would remove 90% of the stress for me as it would mean that I can wear the more discrete diapers that I am used to. I have noted your advice on booster options in various forms and will try out a couple of arrangements before I go. I do have some boosters lying around that I bought for overnight wear and didn’t end up using many of.

P.S. I am doing my best to use “diaper” rather than “nappy” as we do in Australia after realising that I had confused some people on here. It still sounds funny to me, but I will get there!

 

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Good idea to try a couple options at home see how they work

Also wear heavy trousers like bl jeans to hide minor if any leaks.

 

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Good idea to try a couple options at home see how they work

Also wear heavy trousers like bl jeans to hide minor if any leaks.

I second what @Maymay941 says. As long as you are professional and discreet about it; nobody would be the wiser. Amen.

Blessings In Christ,
Honeeecombs

 

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@Maymay941 yes, I have a trusty pair of black denim jean shorts that I rely on during times of heavy wetting. Thankfully it’s quite wet where I live this week, so there should be a few wet bums getting around the festival.

 

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For me, during the day I’ve been using Depends Real Fit Men, and they work surprisingly well because I generally leak without it being a gusher. Early on when I had better retention, and my bladder was fuller before having an accident, pull-ups would leak because it filled it too fast for absorption.

So, what I’ve been doing in scenarios like yours of going somewhere where you are unsure of your ability to change is starting with the overnight diaper (I had Abena Abriform, but recently switched to BetterDry which seems to work better for me and has a better cut for my body) and pull the Depends real fit over the overnight, and sometimes even 2 of them.

Pull-ups, though less noticeable are super challenging to change because of having to take your pants off, and doing the balancing act on one foot.

So with the three on I’m able to wet the overnight, and once that’s saturated it’s easy to find somewhere to take it off and dispose of, but you already have your next pull-up in place, so it’s like prechanging.

Anyone else do this method? I can’t all the time because it is bulky, but there are certain scenarios that definitely allow for it, and a concert is definitely one because the noise, the lighting, and general atmosphere makes it completely unnoticeable.

 

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I had my first festival day yesterday. After receiving advice about accessible facilities I contacted the organisers and found that they had installed accessible bathroom facilities on site that I would be able to use. I wore my overnight diaper on the bus over in case and had a spare packed, as well as several daytime diapers and Abrilet boosters. Once I had scoped out the availability of facilities (thankfully no long queues to the accessible toilets) and seen an act, I felt more comfortable and was able to change into a daytime diaper and made sure to change every three hours to stop leaks as I did have a couple of beers which increased output. The only downside was that there were no bins inside the bathrooms, so I had to exit with my bagged diapers in hand to throw away in the bins outside.

I think that one of my friends worked out my problem when he went through my bag looking for snacks, but he politely didn’t say anything. Overall, it was a pretty stress-free day and I am on the bus again with a good supply of daytime diapers to get me through day two. I won’t be drinking at all today and am looking forward to more music and less changes.

I need to remember that the reality of attending events is usually a lot less scary than my anxiety about them.

 

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@Rowan123 A most excellent result! You have given me to courage to do something I love again! I’ve been to over 1000 concerts and festivals because it used to be part of my job as a music video producer. But once I became incontinent, I quit going. Seven years later, I finally went to a concert again this summer. I wore protection and it went really well. So maybe I can also learn from you and return to festivals like Coachella.

 

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I've been wearing diapers to concerts for several years now, ever since I started to have urge incontinence issues. You get 12,000 to 15,000 people in an arena, and you never know how long the lines will be. When I have an "Urgent Urge" hit me, I sometimes have less than 2 minutes before I start to leak. No way am I going to spend my life hiding in my house, next to the toilet.

 

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@snow I am glad. Just give it a go, I reckon. Everyone was way too absorbed in their own experience to know what was going on under my pants. I wish I hadn’t waited so long to go back to events.