Dating / personals site

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Just sorta thinking there’s a lot of people who are socially isolated because of issues that would bring them to this site. As a single guy it would be great to have a place where we could meet dates who also have incon. There’s one site out there that’s a scam, and there’s a bunch of fetish sites, but that’s not what I’m looking for.

Just a thought.

 

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Someone else previously said there are multiple dating sites for disabled people, where you can list incontinence as your disability. I don’t use dating sites, so I wouldn’t know.

I don’t think there are enough people actively on this particular forum and interested in dating, for the NAFC to justify the expense of running a dating component. Seems like everyone here is really spread out not just across the country, but also around the globe.

 

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That really is a good idea. Certainly makes the relationship less stressful if both have issues.
You should create a website like that
Bet it would be great.

 

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Thanks Snow. Anyone know one or two of those legit non scam disabled dating sites?

 

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I’m sorry; I can’t remember who was talking about this - it was within the past two months, though. I’m proud of you for having the bravery to date, though!

@DeanLikesToHelp any suggestions?

 

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Personally, I would be looking for someone who is ok with me being incontinent and if she is too then fine. But why would anyone want to specifically look for an incontinent partner? Just wondering.

 

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Hi @jrpoorman. I second your thoughts on that. If both have similar issues it would be less stressful for sure and you wouldn't have to wait until that right time to say, "Uhhhh, there's something I gotta tell you!" I think something like that website would be great and would be a viable option.
But I also agree with @snow's comments that something like that for NAFC to run or sponsor wouldn't pay the freight because a lot of people here are married or are otherwise not interested in dating. And it is also true that not only are we scattered across the country, but in several countries as well!

 

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Personally, I would be looking for someone who is ok with me being incontinent and if she is too then fine. But why would anyone want to specifically look for an incontinent partner? Just wondering.

Great point. Totally agree but let’s say you do meet someone on a regular dating site, when do you mention the issue? Maybe I’m just over thinking it.

 

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@Newbie2this I think the right time to tell someone probably depends on that person. I would wait until after a third date, minimum, I guess.

 

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I don't think it's so much that we'd prefer dating someone with incontinence, as that it would make dating easier if we knew up front that the person would be ok with incontinence. It would certainly make the discussion about it easier if we could know that the other person wouldn't just get up and walk out in disgust.

I agree with snow that the right time to tell someone depends on the person. I don't remember exactly when I told my wife, but it was someone before we got engaged, and it was in the framework of a discussion about several major health problems that I have.

 

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I think that was very well said, @ltapilot. It would make things easier if we could know somehow that a person we'd date is okay with incontinence. I wish that would happen more often. As for the other person getting up and walking away in disgust, who is to say that incontinence (or some other physical issue) wouldn't happen to them at some point!! When the shoe's on the other foot it is a tight fit!!!

 

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Consider this: Incontinence is often a symptom of or is co-existing with any number of other physical disabilities. You might find a person with disability who is ok with your incontinence if you are ok with their condition that just happens to include incontinence. With that in mind, then you have many more potential partners to choose from.

There are in person support groups for people with disability, along with trade product expositions, medical information seminars, lectures, etc., that may offer a venue where you might meet the person you seek. This will take some time and travel, but many here have noted that we are far and few between with just our incontinence condition as is.

It might also serve to convince you that the 'acceptance of me' worry will also mean that you need to accept the OTHER person's disability concerns along with their accompanying incontinence condition.

So, when asking for a potential partner's acceptance and understanding, you must be willing to take into account THEIR perspective surrounding feelings relating to their disability and incontinence situations, too.

 

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@andy1050 Excellent points; all accurate.

 

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@snow Hi Snow and everybody!

I was actually considering adding a private forum section to my website for dating. It would be geared towards different types of disabilities and I would screen each person interested in joining before letting them be a member. I didn't do it for the simple fact that those forums are an expense that I can't afford to work into my budget right now.

Yes there are sites out there already, but mostly fetish sites like FetLife which is like a kinky facebook with millions of members.

Should I consider making a forum section? How many of you would want that and what do you thik a reasonable membership fee would be? I'd at least need to cover expenses.

 

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HI @DeanLikestoHelp, yeah! Please tell us more! How many would you need to have join in order for it pay the freight? And what would some of the features of the section be? Screening potential members is a good idea since I wouldn't want this to be a fetish site or one that attracts someone who is not really sincere about meeting others with like issues. Interesting proposal!

 

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That would be awesome!, Like previously said, the site would have to have good filters to screen out people.

 

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@billliveshere I will check into it and let you all know!

 

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I don’t date through online services, but if I did (which I may eventually do), I’d be willing to pay the same cost of another major site like Match, Bumble, eHarmony, OKCupid, Our Time, etc. In this day and age users would want a phone app as well as a website. Maybe you can get funding from ads for protection companies like Northshore, and/or urologists, disability attorneys, etc.? I think it would be fair for you to earn some money from this, beyond costs. For instance, maybe you earn 20% of membership dues and marketing funds secured?

 

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Hi @DeanLikesToHelp go for it and will be looking forward to what you can come up with.
And @snow, I think it's fair for us to pay the same cost of other major sites such as Match, etc. I do agree he needs to earn some money from this since running this will probably be more than just a "dabbling with it here and there when I get the time" type of thing. And I think trying to get funding from ads for vendors, medical people and disability attorneys (hadn't thought of that one before) is a good possibility too!
Of course for something like this to be really effective it would need to cover a large geographical area. And that would probably take time to build up a base.
And it would need something unique about it where people will say, "Now there's a service I really want to try!"

 

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I could probably get something up and running rather soon if I were to set it up in a "Forum Style" rather than something like what most dating sites look like. Doing it Forum Style will allow for it to be optimized both for computer and smart phones. I'm not sure if I ca get an app going for it just yet though since I'm currently busy with a different app design.

Being that it would take time to build up the number of members, I would start off with a minimal membership fee, possibly $10 a month (maybe a little less) until a certain number of members join, or a certain date which then the monthly membership would become like any other dating website.

Either way, I will screen each person from the start and then hand that responsibility off to a few admins as it grows.

Members will be required to have current pictures posted of themselves, disclose their city & state, their age, sexual identity and preference, their disability, etc.

I'm checking into it and will post more soon. Feel free to comment in the meantime.