Confused and ashamed
- Thread starter Archives1
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Archives1
Staff member
You have just talked to somebody about it-us. That took courage. The next person you should talk to is your doctor. Don’t worry, medical people have heard everything before. You may have a urinary tract infection that needs antibiotics, or it may be something else medical. If you read some of the older conversations, you will see that there are lots of us with similar conditions, and many different causes. If you’d feel more comfortable wearing protection, well, there wouldn’t be so many products if there weren’t a lot of people to buy them. If you feel more comfortable ordering online, an Amazon box can contain anything. Please do what you need to do to feel safe and comfortable, treat this as the medical issue that it is, and feel free to come back to us as often as you need/want to. We’ve heard, and maybe even experienced, it all, too.
Archives1
Staff member
I felt your pain as I read your post. I know telling you not to be scared or ashamed is not a cure but it is the truth. As you read the many posts in this forum, the one thing that may stand out is a total lack of any consistency of the symptoms or the possible solutions. This is your journey and members are only too keen to share their experiences. Pick and choose your potential solutions and try them. Most often the fix will not be immediate but will happen, if not read more and speak more with your medical folk. You are not alone on this shared journey.
Archives1
Staff member
Hello, Michael. Unless you have absolutely no privacy in the lavatory or locker room at work, or you have to wear revealing clothing, who would notice what you are wearing as underwear? Buying incontinence products can be embarrassing, but who says you are buying them for yourself? You could have an 87-year-old father who needs them. Most of the time, most people are too busy with their own lives to notice other people, anyway.
I’m glad that you are planning to see your doctor. You are on your way toward taking back control of your life and health.
I’m glad that you are planning to see your doctor. You are on your way toward taking back control of your life and health.
Archives1
Staff member
Optimist glad you found the courage to speak up here.
The condition can have many causes and the doctor will do very simple non invasive tests like a urine sample to start to help you.
As for work I think you should try disposable at home looking the mirror and see how unobtrusive it is.
In the meantime before seeing a doctor read about bladder irritants and stop with sugar cut coffee to a minimum and sodas citrus juices alcohol to name a few things.you can Google bladder irritants.If you can wear dark pants in case of a leak that gets to the surface for now at least.
This forum has people with levels of incontinence from the mildest forms of sudden leaks and urges to challenging medical conditions.
Everyone is still working on living in their best life.
The condition can have many causes and the doctor will do very simple non invasive tests like a urine sample to start to help you.
As for work I think you should try disposable at home looking the mirror and see how unobtrusive it is.
In the meantime before seeing a doctor read about bladder irritants and stop with sugar cut coffee to a minimum and sodas citrus juices alcohol to name a few things.you can Google bladder irritants.If you can wear dark pants in case of a leak that gets to the surface for now at least.
This forum has people with levels of incontinence from the mildest forms of sudden leaks and urges to challenging medical conditions.
Everyone is still working on living in their best life.
Archives1
Staff member
I understand I have been incontinent for many years. My early years I was very embarrassed and not open about it. I was very uncomfortable buying adult diapers in the store and dealing with doctors. As I got older it doesn’t bother me anymore sometimes I do get embarrassed or even upset over it but I can’t control it. My doctor is very understanding and know about my wearing. It’s always best to try to get help.
Archives1
Staff member
I’m still a little upset that this has become a problem, but I realize it’s a step by step journey. Made Dr appointment yesterday. Today I decided to wear protection to work. I’m a little nervous, but I realize it’s the safe thing to do. Put an extra in my backpack just in case. Thank You everyone that has helped me so far, I’m still learning.
Archives1
Staff member
@Optimest, your feelings of shame and confusion are completely normal. Lots of us have gone through the same thing, and lots of us still fight with feelings of shame over our incontinence.
You're doing the right thing by making an appointment to see your doctor, even though it's a month out. In the meantime, it sounds like you're doing all the right things to manage the problem - you're using absorbent products, you're confiding in trusted loved ones, and you've found a very supportive online forum to help you work through the issues.
One suggestion I'll make is to avoid trying new things when you're going to work. If you want to try something new, whether it's a different product or using a bit of powder, you should do it when you're home, so you'll know how it works. I remember early in my incontinence journey when I tried out a different brand of pull-up, then took my kids out shopping. In the middle of the shopping trip, I found out that the new pull-ups were not as absorbent as I'd expected. I was fortunate not to leak, but it was a close call. After that, I've avoided trying any new products unless I'm at home, or someplace else where a leak or a sudden need to change won't cause a problem.
Meanwhile, stay positive. This is just something to deal with, and you're doing a great job of dealing with it. Keep it up!
You're doing the right thing by making an appointment to see your doctor, even though it's a month out. In the meantime, it sounds like you're doing all the right things to manage the problem - you're using absorbent products, you're confiding in trusted loved ones, and you've found a very supportive online forum to help you work through the issues.
One suggestion I'll make is to avoid trying new things when you're going to work. If you want to try something new, whether it's a different product or using a bit of powder, you should do it when you're home, so you'll know how it works. I remember early in my incontinence journey when I tried out a different brand of pull-up, then took my kids out shopping. In the middle of the shopping trip, I found out that the new pull-ups were not as absorbent as I'd expected. I was fortunate not to leak, but it was a close call. After that, I've avoided trying any new products unless I'm at home, or someplace else where a leak or a sudden need to change won't cause a problem.
Meanwhile, stay positive. This is just something to deal with, and you're doing a great job of dealing with it. Keep it up!
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