Bedwetting PTSD/Anxiety

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hi, I went to tue intro page and it appears to be full so I was unable to post. I just joined the group I guess out of lonliness as there aren't many to discuss this type of problem with.
Anyways, my wetting is only at night and after numerous doctor/urologist visits through my life, it is pretty much a mental issue for my wetting than physical.
As a child I would rarely sleep in order to not wet the bed. As I got older I devised ways to set my alarm clock to wake myself up (under my pillow), snuck wet clothes to the laundry mat, ran all kinds of covert operations to hide my problem so no one knew the wiser, my family thought I quit wetting when i was 13 or 14.

Once I moved on my own the wetting seemed to stop for a while but my lack of sleep became just a part of life and turned problematic for functioning during the day.
Eventually the rare wetting i was having at night became more frequent.
For a number of years I went to various doctors with no luck. I was given pills to help reduce my urine production and that was the best they could do.
I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder in later years as I started having issues coping with life in general not related to the wetting. This diagnosis however brought to the realization that the anxiety may be contributing to my wetting issues at night. The reason why i wasnt sleeping is fear of wetting. the sleep deprivation all just built up.
This was when i broke down and started wearing protection to bed. It was awful at first. humiliating and embarrassing for me as there were some horrible memories as a child that came back to mind. However over a few weeks I started sleeping better. The anxiety at night significantly felt reduced but the wetting still does happen just a couple times a week sometimes only a few times a month.
I still have anxiety that I take meds for but the level I encounter it is more mild now and based on work/life stress vs bedwetting. I also still struggle with insomnia and take meds for that as well. I have began to accept the fact that I may never be "normal" in the societal sense but just curious if there are similar people out there who have this problem more from a mental state vs physical issues.

 

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Welcome to the forum JC. Im rushing this morning but i hope you willl read some old posts here and start tontake comfort in what you find here. Many good people.

 

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Hi JC -

Welcome to the forum. You will find many others here, myself included, with stories similar to yours. I never responded successfully to any of the treatments by doctors, and eventually gave up on them. Interestingly, i did slow down wetting when I was around 14, so my parents thought that it was done. At those times, there were no disposables, and so I was kept in cloth diapers and plastic pants. As you may know, these are much more difficult to put on, so my parents were the ones who diapered me until 14 (maybe 15). But then, after going away to school, i began wetting again. I never told my parents, but I have continued ever since. Like you, for a while, especially in college, I tried to get up multiple times during the night, and slept very inconsistently. This quickly began to affect my academic performance, and I decided to try using the new disposables that had come on the market - Attends. These were not great, but combined with other soakers, they mostly kept my bed dry. I was fortunate in having a roommate whose brother was a bedwetter into his teens, so he was kind of immune to the situation. Like you, I eventually realized that this problem was something I would just have to deal with, and combined with a CPAP, I now sleep well and have a much happier life. Remember that this is a not something you can control, it is a medical issues, and you should not allow anyone - not even yourself - to make you feel less "normal" than anyone else!

 

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We have to lean in to the things that help us cope, what are yours?
Got to let go of negative voices blaming and shaming. If you were born with a missing hand would you blame yourself?
Listen to Lady Gaga song Born This Way (!!)
Many people have our condition and all we can do is be responsible for what we CAN do to minimize the impact on others. Get quality diaper product, clean ones self and ones bedding thoroughly. (It sounds like you have made huge efforts to do this slthough in a spirit of panic and shame. Thats ok, you can do these things with pride and dignity for being a considerate person!) Be grateful for the people who love us anyway or who accept us. (Nothing to do with incontinence, everything to do with being a human).
Ive suggested this before on the NAFAC but there is an on line channel on you tube called ASMR which is a huge variety of people often women, who induce calm for anxious people by a rythmic soothing role play or soothing sound video. My favorite is Gentlewhispering, the older videos she did but this is one of many on offer. She does a lot of loving accepting kind videos. The point is, many millions of people use the ASMR videos to attain calm and self acceptance and even sleep so im telling you in case you want to try something to soothe yourself at bedtime.
And let go, just let go of shame guilt and fear breathe in let it breathe out. There are a million things we wish were different in this world we have no control over. The body you were born into is one of them.
Sending best wishes.

 

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I was slow on training growing up then dry till around 50 then started having trouble.I talked after dr visit with my wife and started using diapers which was a big hit to my ego but have adjusted and don't let it control me.

 

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Hi and welcome JC! How’s everyone doing this evening?
Jim in MD