I know this type of discussion can often be awkward, but I think it’s also very important to stress that this underwear is broadly referred to as protection for a variety of reasons. Yes, it does protect us and those with us from showing the world that our bladder/ bowels just decided this would be as good of spot as any to empty themselves despite being in the middle of the mall or whatever. This should be explained, that although It would preferable to be wearing a pair of boxers right now, it might not work out so well for your chairs, couches, bedding etc.
Another component to dealing with our incontinence in social situations is, is your family member, friend etc. comfortable explaining to others exactly what their adult son/daughter is dealing with when it comes to “Wearing Diapers” at their age? Incontinence what?
Many of us are comfortable discussing these issues amongst ourselves and are very open about “Bodily Functions!” But when this first happened to me I lived out in SoCal and my parents lived in Chicago. Of course they came out to visit me in the hospital, but then went back to their life and I’m sure that a lot of what I was dealing with in the hospital was soon a blur, the important thing was I would live and with a lot of surgeries and physical therapy I would eventually walk and talk similar to my old self.
When I went back to visit for the Holidays almost 2 years later I told my mother I needed to run some laundry and of course she said she would get it (Always Mom!), while I went down to load the washer she was shocked at the diapers and plastic pants. She just didn’t understand some parts of me didn’t work like they used to. When I used the word incontinence back in 1989 she had no clue what I was talking about! I sat her and my father down to have “The Talk” I think it was harder than our first discussion about SEX! Everybody did SEX, and they had 9 of us to prove it, but incontinence? Maybe I should talk to their doctor while in town? I still laugh about it in hindsight! That and the fact that cloth diapers and plastic pants were the only trusted “protection” at the time, so it took a lot of changes to keep things protected...
My only suggestion is take the time to prepare in advance as best you can, then just be straightforward as you can be. What I’ve learned is that even when I told my mother it would take a miracle to get control back, she just prayed for and expected a miracle. Make it clear NOT to expect a change for the better unless your sure it’s realistic. Better to set a clear playing field from day 1. If it’s going to cause you extreme pain, wear your protection! Do you think if they really understood that pain they would want you to suffer? For what reason? you never know but you might be protecting their car seat etc. let alone having to explain to their friends what you’re going through.
I hope you’ve all had a wonderful Holiday to this point, this time of year and the topic just struck a chord with me and I thought I’d share it with you!
To a WONDERFUL 2021!!!
