28 year old - don't want to succumb to overactive bladder

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I'm a 28 year old female - healthy other than hyperactive thyroid/Grave's disease for 10 years (managed with medication) and urinary incontinence starting around the same time. I only started accepting it as something I should accept and seek treatment for in the last 1-2 years. I'm undergoing PTNS and physical therapy now with moderate success - most days I can go at least 2 hours between bathroom trips with leaks controlled through a #2 or #3 pad, but I have at least 1 or 2 times where it can be as short as 30 minutes. I also still have accidents where I'll wet through my pad more often than I'd like. I'm still hopeful that I can find a cure - I'm considering the bladder pacemaker or Botox next but scared of taking an invasive step. Anyone have thoughts? I also cringe at the idea of wearing a diaper, but it seems most people here just do that. It's just so humiliating. One question with that though - do people just stop trying to fight the urge to urinate if it comes on and there's not a bathroom when they're wearing a diaper? Or do they keep fighting it as best they can, try to find a restroom and only if last resort empty their whole bladder in the diaper? Also, what are people's thoughts on drinking coffee/tea and alcohol? I can drink coffee with varied effect on my overactive bladder - sometimes I can hold it 2 hours after drinking and sometimes need to go within 10 minutes. If the former, I often have to go a second time within 30 minutes to an hour though. Alcohol is harder as it really revs up my bladder, but am I selfish/stupid that I don't want to give these up? I want to be able to socialize normally with people and I love these two things. I really want to stop peeing on myself and embarrassing myself squirming to go the restroom but I'm also really reluctant to give up coffee and alcohol. What do you all do? What do you suggest?

 

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It is up to you and your personal preference. Honestly sometimes the battle inside eventually wears you down and you may start to understand inside as the benefits begin to outweigh the negatives. At least that is my perspective. I have OAB and when you can’t quite make it to the restroom it is a flood in some instances. I have just recently began to accept full diapers as a better option to pull ups for me as I don’t have as many leaks with the full tape diapers. Just the less stress that I don’t have to worry about leaks and such if I don’t make it in time. I didn’t realize how stressed out I was becoming on just that.

I know it can seem quite daunting at first but as many people here will say. If you have problems with your eyes you just wear glasses. We have problems with our bladders and or bowels we just wear diapers. It is us ourselves that need to overcome the stigma we attach to it that we have to overcome ourselves.

It’s not easy but at some level it is quite freeing when you over come some of the hurdles internally. Just my thought of course.

Hope that helps in some weird way. Granted it probably isn’t the answer you were looking for. And likewise I don’t want to give up my tea and or my booze so I just learn methods and or products which allow me to cope with my problems without anybody to the wiser.

Cheers. Wish you all the best and welcome aboard here. There are many great people here. FYI.

 

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Welcome to the board Rachelt711!! We are all here struggling one way or another with incontinence and are all trying to find the best way for each of us to manage it. The best advice I can give is to just tell you to find a way to manage it with diapers or pads until you find the reason for the urges. When I started loosing control of my bladder 15 years ago I was in full denial and was having accidents all day and night long, mostly just small leaks and I could manage with having a change of underwear with or adding toilet paper to my underwear. This was not managing or dealing with the problem and after over 2 years of doing this I broke down and bought some diapers from the drug store. It took me another year to actually call my Dr and try to find the reason for this. Since then it has gotten worse and I found my problem is due to nerve damage and not reversible so I wear a diaper 24/7. I am still trying to find a cure and there are many many ways to manage with either drugs, or procedures, or products and you will need to find the way you are comfortable with. I have at times just given up on trying to run to the restroom and just let nature take its course. I used to blame myself for being lazy and not trying hard enough or feeling the urge soon enough but to be honest with myself it’s not being lazy it’s about being prepared and understanding at times it’s just not possible to make it to a bathroom before you start to leak. Be kind to yourself and be patient and you will find your way to manage!! Keep in touch with us for any other questions as many of us have tried lots of different ways to manage!! Best of luck to you!!

 

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We are all so different, the thing is we still have all the other crap that people have besides the incontinence issue. We can't stop living and have to accept what is -is. I started sneezing and my eyes watering like nothing today. I have notice the last year that I have days where this happens. I must have allergies. My thyroid was down last blood test and the physical therapist for my body was pushing me too much and screwed up my lower back. It is inflamed now on the left-weak side. My brain tumor was on the right side which is also my dominant side. So here we are and I had to go to the bathroom at 2:30 after not sleeping for two hours and laying there. Blessings and good night again. B

 

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@rachelt711 I have been dealing with OAB for about two years since I had prostate and bladder surgery. I have tried all the medications without success and now I am trying botox for the second time. The first time it stopped me leaking for about 3 months, but I had to self catheterise. After adjusting to this I realised that using catheters several times a day isn't too bad and so I am having another go with a higher dose to see if it lasts longer. I started with small pads and soon realised that they are only useful for dribbles. I moved onto pull-ups and still use these when I'm at home and stand some chance of making it to the bathroom. I have had a number of accidents in public and this isn't great, so I now use tape ups when at work and away from home. Once you can get over the mental barrier, you soon realise that no one notices and they are just disposable underwear. If my medical treatments don't come to anything, I know that I can cope with protection and catheters and will just have to get on with things. While all this has been going on my wife has suffered because I have been grumpy and I have been too scared to go on holiday for example. I am now comfortable enough with things for us to have a holiday booked for later this year. Sorry for going on a bit. I guess that what I am trying to say, is that there are ways to cope and get on with life, a shame it has taken me two years to realise this! Cheers, phil.

 

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Hello, I just wanted to say that wearing proper protection is not giving up or giving in. It is giving some protection and peace of mind. Don't think that we all just gave up and diapered up. Some of have done all that is possible at this time and rely on diapers as our best solution as for now. But if or when a better option comes, you bet that I'm gonna take it. Don't loose hope. Don't give up. The road to a solution may be very long or might be just right around the corner. There are lots of us here. Many with the same or similar problems as you. But even if we differ in conditions, we share the same common goal and all here are always ready and happy to help. Even if it is just to talk or vent frustration. I hope you get the help and answers you are looking for. We are no strangers to your problems and frustration. Good luck and take care.

 

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Hi. I do not drink caffeine/coffee/tea/alcohol at all die to a heart condition and I have no problems socializing. I have OAB too and I wear pads and/or pullups depending on the situation. I am hoping that is shorter term until we find a better treatment. I tried a couple of medicines that helped a little. I finished 6 weeks pf pelvic floor therapy that helped a little. Next my doctor is talking about the Interstim implant. I am not sure I am ready for that quite yet but I will probably get to that point shortly. I try to get to a toilet if I can but if not I know I am protected. Is much less stress. Best of luck!

 

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Hello and welcome. The first thing you need to know is that no one will know that you’re wearing a diaper. There really should be nothing humiliating about them. If someone breaks a leg they need to use a crutch to get around. A diaper is just that. A crutch for your bladder.
For your question about trying to hold it, I absolutely do not. If I try to hold it get get painful spasms and will still wet myself anyway, so there is no point.
For the Botox and interstim (bladder pacemaker), I’ve heard nothing but horror stories about the interstim. Botox May work for you but it didn’t for me. I ended up having to use a Foley catheter and still had bladder spasms and would pee past the catheter and into my pants. So I still had to wear diapers.
Like you I’m unwilling to give up coffee and alcohol. I drink both daily.

If you’re going to give diapers a try start out the right way. Do NOT get depends or store brands. They are total garbage. Check out the NorthShore website. You can get someone there to help you find the right product for your needs.

 

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I try to fight it most of the time but must wear a diaper to keep form having bad accidents.

 

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I have found it’s nice to have protection. She beats sitting somewhere in wet clothes. I know it can take some getting used to but it sure is nice to be dry and not have to worry about trashing the sofa, car, bed, or anything else. Would rather have a little padding than wet clothes any day.

 

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@jrpoorman I definitely agree with you here, Phil

 

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This all began as a hyperthyroid condition for me. However i was not having bladder leakage at first but I did have to go urinate a lot I didnt have accidents. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer later and had surgery to remove it. After that it was necessary for chemo treatments for a while and during some of this i was cathed. During these treatments I began to have leakage. Doctors didnt seem very concerned with the leakage and seemed to think it would correct itself after treatments ended. It did not. I have to take thyroid replacement medication every day and keep it in check. Sometimes the bladder issues are better than others. A lot of things seem to effect it (alcohol is the worst)For the most part mine is not as bad as many have here on this site and I am gratefull for that. I have accepted it and its not much of a problem for me.

 

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Thank you for sharing, Listening to everyone and even being able to share here is such a blessing. Sometimes it’s just nice to know that others truly understand and may be going through similar or the same things in life. Just wanted to say thanks for this community and everyone here.

 

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Hi Rachel,
I am 29, male, also dealing with OAB and urge incontinence. I am also fairly new to the IC world, and struggled a lot to accept my condition. I had a lot of mental breakdowns, I got hysterical a lot at the beginning, especially before I found a product that provided the protection I needed.
Docs are clueless what might be the reason for me. I am waiting for a urodynamics test to be done. So far nothing was found in ultrasound and laboratory.
I know it's hard to accept this, live like this and deal with all the emotions and fear of someone finding out. But you're not alone, lots of people have similar problems and as hard to believe as it sounds, it is possible to live a normal, active life with incontinence. Just keep going and remember: noone knows or sees your puffy behind: it's all in your head.

 

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@rachelt711 Certainly keep trying to find the best answer for you. I am learning that the humiliation in wearing diapers comes from within. Most other people don't know or care what you wear under your clothing, and shame on them if they do.

Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and let go of the societal nonsense that sometimes accompanies your needs.