18 and still bedwetting since childhood

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I’m an 18 year old male still occasionally bedwetting and I need it to stop. I had daytime and nighttime accidents regularly as a child, wore pull ups at night until I was 11 (at which point I stopped wearing them even though I still wet the bed somewhat regularly) and since then I’ve stopped having daytime issues and my bedwetting has gone down to about once or twice every couple of weeks, but occasionally I have weeks where it happens every night. I usually think that if I really need for it not to happen (like sleeping in someone else’s bed/a hotel) I can just plan my fluid intake and make sure to pee before I go to sleep, but sometimes that doesn’t work. I mostly avoid drinking or eating anything 3 hours before I plan to sleep but sometimes that does nothing against it. I absolutely need it to stop before I move out on my own. I still live with my parents to take care of them and I’ve hidden it from them for a couple years now. I don’t see how I’m going to have a normal life while this is still happening. I have friends and an SO and I want to have sleepovers and go on trips and obviously move out of my parents’ house but I don’t see how I could do that while this is still an issue. I wouldn’t want to sleep next to my SO if there was a chance of this happening. It’s already affecting my quality of life, every time I wake up wet I feel horrible and start thinking that I’m a disgusting person and that I should just die. I need it to stop as soon as possible, or at least for it to mostly stop and to know that I can have a relatively normal life with it occasionally happening. I hate this so much, I feel disgusting and infantilized and I really don’t know how much longer I can deal with it still happening. I’ll do anything, I’ll pay for medication, save up for a surgery, I just need to know there’s a way to deal with this.

 

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I’m 39, and have never stopped wetting the bed. Have you thought about a sleep study? Sleep apnea and other sleep disorders can be a factor in bed wetting. When I have been able to wear my CPAP mask, I have a dry night, but my problem is that I can’t keep my mask on. I end up taking it off in my sleep. I have also heard suggestions that the problem is related to insulin resistance. Just something to think about.

 

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Have you seen a urologist? Sounds like you may also need some mental health therapy to help you get the skills to feel a bit normal.

 

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Hello, I know exactly how you feel. You have come to the right place to have your voice heard and get questions answered. With the cards I've been delt, I to have wetting issues. I have come to terms with myself the wear diapers as my underwear. It was very hard at first coping with the issue. I opened up to my doctor and told him everything that was happening with the wetting issues. I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea, depression, general anxiety and Over Active Bladder. The first thing I would do is open up to your parents and explain the issues you are having. Don't be afraid. They are your parents. They will support you and help you. The next step is the make an appointment with your doctor. To help before visiting the doctor, write down how many times a week or how many times a month you have bedwetting issues. Then also let the doc know that you cut back on fluids before bed. I would tell the doc everything that is going on. Start there first.

 

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WTEY...
Help is on the way. There are two issues here, most likely. You have a leakage issue (welcome to the club) and you have a bladder that has reduced capacity, since the demands on it are often reduced. To keep my story short, I'll give you the highlights. The external soft silicone device (sleeve) that my engineer partner and I have patent pending will impede your leakage to near zero at night, though a backup liner is always recommended with this unit. The liner is needed because the soft body characteristics allow one to wear it 24 hrs a day, if desired. I wear mine 14 hours daytime, but only at night if I have hydrated in the evening with a beer or bowl of soup. During the day, with some activities, such as swinging a golf club, stress leakage occurs requiring the backup. That's the tradeoff for comfort and convenience. Because it is flexible, unlike the hardbody devices on the market, you can urinate through it without adjustment or removal...hence the leakage under stress conditions.

Since the device is not yet for sale, as we seek an industry partner, you may join our three dozen volunteers who have graciously tried our device and offered feedback, if you have an interest. Any input we receive is valuable to us as we build our performance data base. There would be no cost to you. Best wishes to you. Fynlee amhelp@comcast.net

 

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At 18 yeas old I still wet the bed most nights. I was in my 20's before I was reliably dry at night. All of a sudden it just happened. So don't give up hope.

 

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Yes you need to go to an urologist and have a urodynamic study done. I was exactly where you are now when I was 18 even though I was still wetting almost every night. I chose to put myself back in a nighttime diaper at age 16 or so and that made a huge difference in that a wet diaper was so much better than flooded sheets. Anyway I had gone to a couple urologists, one at 18 or so I think and one in my 20's. Both times they prescribed medications that had little to no affect. I should also mention I had daytime leakage issues also that were pretty bad until age 12 or 13 but got better but never totally went away.
the urologist I went to at age 30? was the first one to do a complete work up and discovered I have a neurogenic bladder and from my history probably since birth. As he put it to me my bladder acts pretty much like a babies in that brain control connections don't function well. I'm not sure I would have felt better knowing this as a teenager but at least I would have known it was purely a health condition that was not controllable, by me. I, like you, felt like I was not able to control my own body and felt pretty down about it. Scared someone might find out or my big mouth older brother would tell someone. I couldn't have anyone in my room for fear they'd sit on my bed and hear the plastic crinkle from my mattress protector.
The dr. suggested he could do surgery that "might" help but I wasn't about to go under the knife for a maybe solution.
Anyway I'm older now and having accepted my condition for what it is I just manage with diapers overnight and diapers, pull ups, or absorbent pads during the day.
Hopefully your study wont reveal the same condition, but it could even though having this from birth without another condition such as spina biffada, diabetes, or something else is pretty rare.
hard to tell you to not get so down on yourself, been there done that. I would encourage you however to find out what is going on as there are some sleep disorders that can also cause it. Even constipation!

 

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Wety, it's all good advice. I'd write down, for your doc, the history and your attempts and their results (good or bad), in as short as sentences as possible, if for no other reason than to remind yourself what to tell him. You might tell him you think you need a referral to a neurologist. Some urologists won't see you without a referral, some insurance (including Medicare) won't pay without the referral.
This forum has entire threads on what to eat & not eat and drink, on protective articles, at good and also crackpot aids, and the dangers of some of them. Remember everyone is different, so what works for them won't necessary work for you, but most is can at least be tried out. You have the resources here to help make an informed decision.
Congratulations. Just finding and coming here is a more adult action/decision than most your age - including an old fart like me (74).

 

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Hi wtey,
Glad you found this site. There is a wealth of information here and advice from many wonderful caring folks. Hope you see a urologist and like most of the previous posts just let them know what’s going on, how it’s making you feel, and if you are taking any meds currently and what you’ve tried in the past. Let them know what helped and what didnt. No use paying to reinvent the wheel or try the same things you’ve already tried.
Hope you find a workable solution. Don’t beat yourself up, I know it’s no fun waking up in wet sheets and how it makes a person feel. Just bites.
You have a condition that is far, far from just you, as you can see by all the posts here. It’s estimated around 100,000 people deal with this daily and it can be managed successfully and there are allot of things the urologist can help you with for treatment options.
For now, just know if you have to wear different underwear, that’s okay and it doesn’t make you a horrible person or gross. Just means you are taking a responsible approach to managing your condition while you try to find a solution that works for you.
Glad you are here, hang in there Nd don’t get down on yourself. I have a SO also, we have a nice life even though I leak too. You can do this and I’m proud you are reaching out for advice.
Have a good weekend!
Jim in Maryland

 

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@wteyccsyrwttynts

A lot of good advice has already been given and I am sure more will come.

Dude I totally get your frustrations and anxiety over your bedwetting. When I was 18 I was setting my bed occasionally too. My times request bedwetting (severel times in a week) came during stress times like end of the semester at school. I also, like you, hid the fact that I was having bedwetting issues from my parents too. I managed by protecting my bed with a heavy duty plastic garbage bag cut open to cover the sleeping area of my bed and a large absorbed beach towel on the plastic and underneath the sheet on my bed. When I had a wet night I would sneak wash my wet sheets and clothes.

So dude you came to the right place to talk with other who under stand and get it. You are not alone and you are awesome. Bedwetting is frustrating, embarrassing, and just gets us upset with ourselves at times, but it really is no big deal. Just something we deal with and live our lives.

JT

 

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Hi , this is amazing site. I didn't know something like this existed. Ive sadly dealt with this for all 42 years of my life. for years I was told "you will grow out of it". By my mid 20s it was consuming me through immense depression and anxiety , mostly due to watching everyone else's life blooming and quickly surpassing mine.by my 30s I had pretty much pushed all but my mother away and lived low and reclusive. Ive had dozens of blood/urine test , sleep apnea tests and multiple uncomfortable urodynamic tests, along with alarms and assortment of medications, shrinks , professors, urologist and anyone else with false promises but to no avail. I can only suggest to be strong and positive , leave no stone unturned while your young.One thing I didn't have is something like this site, and having some one to talk too who truly understood might have swayed me to better choices a lot earlier on.
While it still brings me down , I feel time and maturity in my late 30s helped me except my issue little better , but more importantly feel better in about myself and handle it better. Stay Positive , I can't stress that enough and while I realise its easier said than done, unlike me you need to keep living life and not regret letting 20 years slip by feeling sorry for yourself.

 

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to Dave's reply please don't let the condition consume you as it can do. Easy for me to say because I'm on the other side of it but the sooner you accept it for what it is youll realize it's just a minor inconvenience to your life. I just don't concern myself with it.

 

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Hi all,
Donny you are so right. Don’t let it consume you. Well put.
Davedave, this site is a Blessing as are everyone here. Nothing like going through so much of our lives thinking I’m the only one and then you find a site like this support chat and then you feel better knowing it’s not just me.
Thank for everyone’s posts.

 

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@davedave welcome to the site, there are lots of us here to chat to, it has been a great help to me, cheers, Phil

 

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Davedave and everyone. What we all need to do it mention this site to every Doctor & nurse. Heck, hand out a "card". Tell them a responsible medical person would steer a patient this way.
I've done it, should do it more often. Not sure how a Urologist will view our view of them, but Oh Well! That's what Nurses are for!

 

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Great idea. I told my doctors office and urologist about the NAFC site and the amazing folks here on the chat boards.

 

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Don't give up trying to find a solution! I am lifelong bedwetter and have dealt with it for decades - through college and touring and having a successful marriage. It does not define who you are and you are definitely not alone. Keep searching for the answer and trust in those who sincerely are there to help you emotionally and physically.