Young person wearing diapers

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Hi, everyone, I am new to this forum, I’m so glad I found yall! To start, I am 21 years old and I am dealing with heavy bladder leakage. I have had incontinence issues since I was a kid, it started as bed wetting and then formed into a daily thing. To help deal with this issue, I have resorted to wearing adult diapers. I feel so embarrassed wearing diapers, it feels like I am baby as I tape one on before bed and work. When I am getting dressed and I look down to see a large, sagging diaper taped on me makes me feel so embarrassed. What if I go out on a date and the girl notices my diaper sticking out? Do you think because I wear diapers, it will be a turnoff for women?
I would appreciate you all’s thoughts.
Thank you.

 

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I know your pain all to well. I have dealt with incontinence issues all through my childhood. Then when I was 21 I had an accident which left me with nerve damage making it so I had no urinary control at all. Had to start wearing adult diapers 24/7. Tbh though it's going to come down to your outlook on it. Most decent people will be completely understanding that you have a medical condition and won't let it effect how they view or feel about you. It mostly comes down to confidence. Being confident in yourself and having a positive mindset will greatly impact relationships and how you view yourself. Don't let it get you down. Millions of people of all ages deal with these issues there is nothing wrong with using a medical device to help live with a medical problem.

 

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@Draconic Thanks for the reply. Your story dealing with incontinence is truly inspiring, thank you for sharing it with me. From now on, I am going to try to be more confident in myself and look at wearing diapers more positively. You made me feel a lot better about myself. Thanks again.

 

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Not a problem man. Also just to say I have met plenty of women who were not judgemental and were very understanding about my medical issues. Was even married for about 8 years. My main thing is to just live the best way I can. I don't let it stop me from doing the things I enjoy. I just figure out ways to work around it all.

 

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I've wet the bed most of my life. Will turn 72 shortly. Been married almost 41 years to a wonderful woman who supports me 100%.

 

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M..,
I became incontinent much later, after surgery, and certainly empathize. Best advice i believe you'll ever receive, until your condition changes, is to own it and not hesitate to speak to it with whomever whenever. People will see it as they might any malady, such as bad knees, for example. Your life experiences will immediately improve. On the other hand, a product that my engineer partner and I have that is patent-pending, but not quite for sale as yet, might be something you'd like to try. It will give you hope that the future can be as normal as ever when in use. It's an external soft flexible device to be worn 24/7, if necessary. Let's call it a test at no cost, if you would like to try it. Send an email to amhelp@comcast.net for more info. Until then, best wishes for your next open conversation. Fynlee

 

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You mention dating, I would suggest not trying to run from it. Obviously it’s not a fun conversation to have but it may be easier in the long run to just be up front. Adding to what Flynn said, if you had a food allergy or a sleeping disorder you would probably mention that and discuss it as just a matter of the way things are. If she can’t handle it she’s not the one for you.

One thing I would advise is stay on top of your health. I let myself go since I started having bladder issues and packed on extra weight. Don’t do that and if you are over weight now get fit. Do it for you, not a potential partner. Take it from me, better to be a fit guy in a diaper than a fat guy in a diaper.

 

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Welcome.

Have you mentioned this to your primary care physician? Have you been examined by a urologist? Also, there are appliances that men can wear instead of diapers. (My late father used one for the last couple of years of his life.) A good urologist, and even some of the other folks on this list, can tell you more about them.

 

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Muddy. Thank you for your story. Your concern is probably something many of us think about in the early onset of IC. As Diana says there are many things available for men other than nappies/ diapers. I used them for years but in the end I needed to find some other type of protection. I tried Fynlee's device and I can say it works very well and certainly very discreet. I don't believe it has yet been produced on the market but Fynlee will provide free samples for you to try. For the last 2 yrs. I have been using daily a IC condom connected to a small external collection bag which I have in my pocket (Conveen Active by Coloplast) Changing to this protection completely change my life. I never consider I have an IC problem anymore. I have never had one leak in the 2 yrs and I fit the thing up in a morning in about 2 mins. I wash and clean the bag daily and get a week's use out of it. Obviously, I use a new condom every day. I don't need protection at night. It's very discreet and allows me to wear any fashion and even wear it in the gym. Like everything sizing is important but the suppliers are great with free samples until you get the right size condom. And all very affordable. If diapers bother you I recommend you investigate the market and experiment outside the square

 

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If a woman is put off by a men with incontinence wear she is not worth wasting your time. A woman worth a second look will be concerned about a man's other qualities - kindness, thoughtfulness, regard for her.... Wearing incontinence protection should be no more of a put off than wearing spectacles for example.

 

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Hello, I became incontinent when I was around your age. I have dated plenty and was married once. Its better if you have mastered what you need for protection and are able to keep yourself cleaned up and good smellin and dont get lazy after dating the same person for a while. I use clamps a lot more when im dating.

 

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Hi I’m also started young I was a bed wetter and got to the point around 20 that I needed to wear diapers all day. I was embarrassed at first wearing and putting on the diaper. But over time I started to feel better about it. I’m now finally ok with it I’m not so embarrassed by the diaper and as for dating in a uncomfortable chat but most are very accepting of it. My wife really doesn’t care that I’m in diapers. I try treatments and physical therapy to help me with it maybe something will work.

 

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Ok, thank you everyone for all the impute, I really appreciate it!

 

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Relax I've been in them for over 30yrs.I know there is a adjustment period.

 

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Welcome to the forum. Like others have suggested, I’d get checked by a doctor for any conditions incontinence can be a symptom of. It usually has a cause, and as young as you are , it may be treatable. In my case it stems from diabetes, though problems with OAB and bed wetting have been life long.

If it can’t be cured, you’ll adjust to whatever management options are chosen. I don’t even notice diapers anymore beyond just my everyday underwear. Every once in a while, they require some planning for changes, but for the most part I trust my protection and don’t push beyond limits.

Good luck and do look into the causes of your symptoms.

 

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@Muddy2001 I would date you but I have no clue where you live and we're 6 years apart lol. No but seriously, if she's making fun of you for it or disrespectful, she's not the woman for you. Your body, your business but someone that cares about you shouldn't be bothered by it. Then again, I haven't dated since high school so I probably shouldn't give out advice.

 

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My spouse was fully aware of my youth bedwetting. It stopped and started many times after it first stopped at age 18. It hasn't stopped for well over 40 years. My wife is very supportive of this issue.