Working while incontinent?

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Initially posted as a reply but wanted to get input. Thanks all

Went back to work last Monday. Today (Wednesday) I realized that it's just not going to work. Work from home Tues and Thurs but stressed and wet with 100% incontinence after rarp 7 weeks ago. Had an emotional breakdown at work. Called doc to reissue fmla leave. Call back said they never had anyone who couldn't go back to work because they were incontinent. I can't focus or concentrate with constant peeing my pants. Stressed out. Bathroom is about 50 yards away in warehouse. Not feasible to get there. Drive between 3 sites. Much activity walking etc. At home can sit still and bathroom 10 or so feet away. Can at least run in and empty some.

Anyone else not able to work due to this? Contemplating quitting to take care of my health.
 
I know I wouldn’t have been able to work 7 weeks after my surgery. I'm amazed that you’re expected to. I'm sorry I don’t have a suggestion for you, but I can certainly sympathize with your situation. Hang in there….prayers sent.
 
First, Don't quit.
Second, Get a different doctor.
Third, Don't take no for an answer.

If you are a guy, that is how most doctor will treat you.
They due not understand the mental side of this at all.
I did the warehouse thing before my issue hit as bad as they are now.

Were I was working it was always 100+ yards to the nearest bathroom and they did not give a dang about why you were taking so long they only cared about numbers.

They have to find something that is causing it and until they do don't stop reaching out to them. My own struggle is still working to find things out but I was luck to have insurance that is helping me get to the bottom of all this.
 
I can only say I think some of us here understand as how it affects us mentally to be aware of uncontrollable peeing while doing what appears to be a normal activity like walking never mind trying to concentrate of the task at hand at the same time.
Even with a disposable underwear products on for me (im a woman) the actual peeing part disrupts my ability to walk even of i had a carrier of extra ones to go change into and a workplace that wouldn't notice multiple bathroom breaks.
It sounds like you should consider going into the doctor to express the
emotional and physical strain which can cause you to leave your employment to try for the FML letter.
Every handles incontinence at a different level of tolerance and healing after surgery.
In time many men here have recovered a good deal of control or learned to cope with some level of leaks with disposable products. Sounds like you need time and a sounds board and I think you will find that here.
 
If you are recovering from prostate surgery (sorry, I don't know the history of your problems) quitting your job isn't the answer. Wearing the appropriate protection will be a pain in the neck, but it does manage the symptoms and it will be significantly less stressful. Assuming this will be a temporary issue, it will be behind you eventually, and you may be in the position to advise, or 'mentor' someone else facing this giant in the future. There isn't one of us here or elsewhere that wants to go through this, but we tend to respect those who do and who conquer the fear and the enormity of it all. This is a battle that you CAN win- at the other end of this tunnel, you'll recognize that it was a decision on your part to fight this battle. I'm also praying for you.
 
Yes I had robotic prostectamy 7 weeks ago. Have been in depends since catheter removal. Is there something better to wear that will help at work? It's the constant flow and accumulation that's the issue. I have a back pack with clean diapers and change but it's a continuous drip and leak so never really dry.
 
@Nocontrol

Okay, I went back and found your other post.. My bad...


Yea, go back to that same doctor and explain the them everything going on.

First, you are only 6-7 weeks post surgery. My uncle was not ever allowed back to work at all for 8 weeks.

Like, Heck no.

I love to work but I am in pain all the time and have accidents many times a day so.. What can I do.

You have to be blunt with these people.

If they are still like bla bla bla people work with incontinence.. Tell them you want a referral to a Psychologist. Anxiety and depression is nothing to play with.

I deal with it every day. Luck for my my minor in collage was psychology so I know what to do when I am getting to stressed ( I call my mom, Nanny, Play video games, jam out to worship music or take photos)

Don't let this go.

You deserve to be treated with respect and they have to understand the negative sides of what is going on.. Not "well now you are all better but you wet yourself, but that's not going to kill ya."

My doctor played the same thing with me in front of my mom and it did not go well for her so.
 
DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB. Employers must have reasonable accommodations for all disabilities. What is reasonable may be open to interpretation. Maybe they can relocate your work station closer to the restroom,or put a portable toilet near your work station until your situation improves enough where you don't need it anymore. 😉 Just my two cents. Good luck.
 
I just realized that I didn't answer your question. My issues aren't prostate-related but they are permanent. I have learned to manage it at work- which may be easier for me than for you, but apart from not being able to do some types of work (construction for example) there is generally a work-around - you just gotta find what is most effective for you. If your employer knows the score, they will likely be amenable to facilitating your current needs. If you are unionized, that will likely help you if the company is unwilling to be flexible. Know that the battle gets easier. Normal life is not as far away as it may seem. Please hang in there.
 
Thanks FL. Called eap for psychologist appt after I got home. To rub salt in wound, one of my direct reports filed a complaint of my behavior with HR and her union. I got frustrated and walked out on a meeting after it became tense and argumentative. And yes, she knows my situation.
 
@Nocontrol

Yea, don't play that crap with them. They have to accommodate you and if they cannot.. Then FMLA takes over. As for the HR thing. You need to go to them and tell them as mush is medically relevant to not being able to do you job they way you did before surgery.

Even if that is taking a bathroom break every thirty minutes.

After all this started with me I demanded an advocate be present whenever dealing with HR.

I went from being runner of a big area that dealt with shipping Staging to back doing what I started off doing so everyone I worked with wanted to know why.

I was even written up because they thought that I was just not willing to do the job anymore.

I worked staging I was second in charge but made no more money doing it and a lot of people quit/got fired over walking out of that area but that was not my case so I had to have HR tell my old bosses what was up without telling them my medical issues.

In the end I ran out my FMLA and was let go because there was no accommodations that they could give me that would have allowed me to work there.

Also I had to deal with security all the time and ended up getting one of them fired for trying to dump my diaper bag, but that is a hole norther story
 
NoControl honestly get way better protection than depends. Such as abena abriform m4 or mega max by northshore. Yes they are diapers but I truly believe they will help reduce your stress.

One of the biggest advantages with diapers as opposed to pull-ups is you don’t have to remove your pants to change them. Also the capacity of diapers is a lot greater than pull-ups.

Ever since I just started wearing m4 diapers for meetings at work or site walk throughs my stressed disappeared as I didn’t have to worry anymore about will I make it etc.

You just have to get over the initial mental issues in your own head about wearing diapers. Once you can accept I can truly say it gets way easier.

Hope this helps.

Cheers

Jason
 
And I forgot to say get a pair of Gary wear plastic pants or something similar as they help reduce the noise of the diaper immensely and also provide some backup leak protection. :)

Cheers

Jason
 
@Jwh51

I will second the Gary Wear pants and the real brief's or Abena L3 pul-ups.

I don't leave the house with out Gary wear pants on and if I am going to be out for a while then I wear a tap on brief because there is nothing worse than having to take all you bottoms off to change.
 
@Nocontrol Hey, I’m sorry to hear your going through all this. For me at first it was emabarrasing to even buy a bag of depends at first and had to try to kind of hide it and make a bee line straight to the register and make sure it was in a bag to cover it. But now three years later I don’t care as much. I’ve come to accept it. It is what it is and go a day at a time with it because I sometimes get fed up with and sick of always wearing diapers. I’ve thought about it trying to reason with incontinence trusses going on and try to downplay it so it’s not as big to me. I figure well, everybody goes, it’s just some do it differently like people that are in wheelchairs or whatever have limitations so they have to deal with issues as everybody else does whatever it may be and they do the same thing just differently. Try to forget about the stigma of having accidents and wearing diapers. These are there to help you and us so there’s not wet pants and a puddle on the ground in front of everyone to see. We’ve got an actual medical physical problem. Everybody goes to the bathroom, but we have to do it differently. Anyway that’s how I’ve been trying to deal with being incontinent for the past three years.

I’ve been working at a gas station and using diapers for like a year and eight months and I’ve told them that I struggle with this and all of them have been accepting of it. I change sometimes and carry a backpack with me. There has been one jerk that was younger than me and I’m 40 that was saying it was my fault and so on but they’ve been ok with it. Like I said it’s an actual medical problem. Not like we’re doing it for pleasures or whatever. It’s something that’s out of our control and diapers or different kind of underwear helps. I’ve been using tabbed briefs. They are easier and faster to change in the restroom so you don’t have to take your pants and shoes off and then back on. Using a brief type diapers only takes a few minutes to take care of and then your back to working. I’ve also found that talking to people you trust or with friends is a good thing so you can let it out of what’s bothering you so you can try to accept what your dealing with better.

Hope this stuff helps. Hang in there and
take care.
 
I agree with Jwh51, it sounds like you need much better quality protection. I hope you can take some more time away from work to get better before going back.
 
I would not have been able to work at 7 or 13 weeks because of my leaking. Here are a few tips.

I used a Lunderg penile clamp for Month 4, 5, and 6.

Confidence Clamp – Comfortable Male Incontinence Clamp – Lunderg

lunderg.com lunderg.com

Log In To Continue | National Association for Continence

forum.nafc.org forum.nafc.org

I used NorthShore GoSupreme pullups and Depend pulls. I would wear two or three at one time and use scissors to cut off the wet one. This reduced needing to take shoes and pants off to change.

A good midrange product is Caroli - better than Depend, not as good or as costly as GoSupreme



I tried the NorthShore Flex Supreme, but the front padding is lower the the GoSupreme.
 
I agree with @Chrisindiapers in that using tabbed briefs sound like it would be a good solution. The briefs are more absorbent than the Depends would be and for someone in a working situation like you are would be easier to change than something that pulls on like regular underwear. And also incontinence is a medical problem and it's something that like many other medical problems we can't control.
So please try to "upgrade" your underwear and quitting work is not a good idea at this point.
 
Thanks all. Still haven't heard back from doc but HR is sending me ada paperwork for accommodation.

I am also looking into other wearable options that may really help since I'm a constant drip and always living in urine.

Appreciate all the replies!
 
Honestly NoControl I truly believe if you switch to actual briefs you will be much happier just due to their capacity and comfort and reduced stressed because you won’t be concerned about your protection leaking. Just my thoughts however with my own experience currently if I am wearing abena m4’s and Gary wear pants overtop the briefs can handle 2 full bladders and more times than not a third easily as well it just gets a little dicey on the third wetting lol. So when wearing them I don’t even think about it anymore and just accept and move forward. Another benefit of mine is I truly don’t care 🤷‍♂️ what anyone thinks. ;)

My problem is I drink so many fluids a day I am sure I contribute to my excessive urination however for how many prescription meds I take I truly believe my excessive water consumption allows my body to flush toxins away preventing many side effects from effecting me. Currently I am on 10 prescription meds and daily consume roughly 5.8L of water if not more.

Just my thoughts trying to help you. :)

Cheers

Jason
 
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