What Are The Mental Effects of Incontinence?

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Incontinence can shape all aspects of one's life. Anytime I have to leave my house for anything I have to evaluate the situation:

Will there be a bathroom available?
Will I get home before I need a change?
Will I be eating or drinking anything that can trigger an accident?
Can I leave the event early, if I have to?
Will my friends get angry if I have to turn down the invitation?

It can lead to isolation and the loss of friends. I did go to a doctor and I have learned how to manage the problem. But that was only after I went through a lot of turmoil. Things are better now.

As a guy who deals with bedwetting only I do not know the strugles of dealing with day (the 9th grade incident was an isolated event. moving on. ) But I can relate with your comment as in to when I sleep away from home.

I wear Depend RealFits when not at home just in case I bedwet. Thankfully my bedwetting is only occasionally so most of the time my RealFits are dry, but I am thankful that I was wearing them when I wake wet like at a hotel.

So yes some of the same thoughts come to my mind to. Did I drink too much ice tea at dinner, am I over tired, am I over excited or stress about the next day, will I wet or be dry, what if the hotel bed get wet, what if I leak, should I have brought a bed pad for the bed too and on and on.

So yes I totally get your point.

 

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I mainly just get a lot of anxiety and frustration from my incontinence issues. The main anxiety is getting 'found out' re wearing nappies and frustration from how long the problem's been going on. I just found out that my urology appointment's been cancelled and I've been waiting months for that so the waiting game continues.

I've been back at work for a while now (why I haven't been posting lately due to lack of time!) and find that the anxiety causes issues. I'm certainly not hydrating properly as I'm worried about having an accident (nappies are great and all but not foolproof, I've had too many leaks to see them as completely reliable) and then it's finding the time to change. The knock on effects are sore throats and headaches. Then there's the anxiety about disposing of products at work.

I find I also feel a bit down each time I have to change. Whilst I don't think too much about it in between changes, the constant reminder of how many products I need to buy to manage my issue at each change (creams, wipes, powders, bed mads etc.) does get me down a bit.

 

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Dang, Sci_Fi_Fan! Do you know if the "knock on effects" are anxiety or more related, say, to lack of hydration? Lack of H2O can be serious, for some. I have to be sure i get enough, as I can get Kidney Stones, and I guarrantee you don't want those. You should ask, provided you ever get that appointment. Maybe find a reputable medical site, like Cleveland Clinic, Mayo Clinic, or the like. Please don't trust Facebook or Google.
If you have insurance, does it have a Nurse Line or an Ask-A-Doctor line?
Start writing your questions down. I hhave a tendency to forget one or two in the doctor's office. Got a "Notes" Ap on your phone?
P.S. Disk-World and Heinlein fan.

 

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@AlasSouth I'm trying to be better about hydration and was much better back in lockdown. The issue at work is that I can go two hours without a break and I can basically only retain urine for an hour max. When I was teaching abroad we had at least fifteen minutes in between classes so I'd just get a two litre bottle of water for the whole day and that worked well as I had time for a toilet visit every hour. In mainstream schools here though you can get no changeover time and because of Covid, the students come straight in and don't wait outside.

Whilst work know about my neuro/chronic fatigue issues, they don't know about my incon. issues and I'm reluctant to tell them. What I might do is say I'm struggling with no changeover time in terms of getting the room sorted out and see if they have any suggestions that might mean that I'll have time to rush to to the toilet. I was feeling really rough last week and whenever I don't drink enough, my throat starts to go.

My uro appointment getting cancelled has really annoyed me - it was only a phone consult to get the ball rolling anyway and I've been waiting for months. I think I'll just wait a few months, save up and go private. I basically just need a flow test.

I've always been meaning to get into Terry Pratchett's stuff!

 

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It sounds like you can say you need a quick bathroom break between classes due to neuro fatigue and they won't know your fatigue issue intimately enough to judge that.
You can get some quality throat lozenges to suck for your throat?
Truly need to hydrate though. Water.

 

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Hi SciFiFan, I agree with everyone here about being hydrated. Although the incontinence aspect is inconvenient, I think that having complications from not having enough fluids would be even worse.
I think you'd do well to ask your school admin for more of a break time and just say "for personal issues." I don't think they would make you spell out what your issues are but if pressed, just say it's "health-related."
I like AlasSouth's suggestion to see if whoever carries your insurance has a number to call to ask a nurse or a doctor. If so that should give you some sort of answer even if a urologist appointment isn't in the very near future, and at least you'd have a human interaction.
And I also like Maymay's suggestion you need a break due to "neuro fatigue."
Or can you get some kind of a note from the last doctor you saw? I'm thinking a note that asks your school to grant restroom access upon need. For that matter, you can go on line and look for a British incontinence resource site and see if they have a laminated card that you can show and ask to be given restroom access.

 

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@Maymay941 Yeah, that's what I'll do. They can hardly say no. I think I'm going to look after myself more and be less of a workaholic as I'll just burn out and/or get ill. I wasn't changing regularly enough last week and my skin really suffered as a result. I think that the hectic schedule may mean I won't stay in the state sector long-term. It's funny, even though I was running around here, there and everywhere all day teaching abroad, I feel more exhausted now. Whilst I'm sure what's going on with me health wise is possibly causing that, the lack of any real breaks all day on some days due to the workload is starting to get me down a bit.

Teaching with health/incontinence issues isn't for the faint hearted that's for sure!

 

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My impress is teachers are in demand asa profession so they arent going to gain by letting you go and answering to why ahealth condition (lets lump it under neuro fatigue) as the reason

 

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@Maymay941 Yeah, it's a funny one. I've been finding it's like walking a tightrope lately. On the one hand, they appear to be concerned about my health and don't want me working too hard. On the other hand, that effectively means that if I say it's getting too much then they'll get me to work part time and I need the full time salary to pay bills. Thus, one always has to be careful to not say that it's not getting too much.

Certainly at the moment it's very much a case of - 'we know things are hard but everything still has to be perfect. Otherwise, work part-time.'

 

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We are doing virtual class in our town in USA and you can see the teachers feel all eyes on them. Yet teachers who can gave quit

 

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In a high school of 2,000 students, they gave us exactly 5 minutes between classes, 22 minutes for lunch. No way you could get to your locker, between classes,usually, so you toted your morning books, then afternoon books - before the day-pack era.
Teachers were not only on that schedule, they were monitoring halls.
It's a tough world, in the schools. During lockdown, some parents found out how hard it is to teach.
I had an employer who would cut off their noses to spite their face, could give a damn for a doctors note. Their way or the highway. Sounds like yours is actually better.
The US is too cheap, and doesn't value education anymore, so we have a teacher shortage and taxpayers don't care except to get their taxes lower.
Can you get away with shoo-ing one class out, lock the door, and re-open after the bathroom visit? Might depend on where the Loo is, I suppose.
Am still living with a 30-year teacher. She loved it, but is glad she's retired.
I left/abandoned teaching. I tried when i was 35 - times had changed. It turned out a change of profession worked for me.
I like MayMay's advice.

 

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@AlasSouth Yeah, it's a crazy world and even though we do get a twenty minute mid-morning break and forty minutes for lunch, with all the added stuff in reality we're lucky if we get half of that. I live for the classroom stuff but do feel that I'll burn out if I stay in the state education system for too long.

I'll raise the changeover time at my next meeting. My old boss would just quickly dart to the toilet in between classes and leave the kids to wait outside for a couple of minutes but that's more of an issue now due to Covid as they're not allowed to wait outside.

I've got some free periods tomorrow so plan on hydrating normally and seeing how it goes re toilet visits.