Things are still not awesome, but all in good time

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Hey all. So after my very public and humiliating accident little over a week ago, I’ve decided that it’s time for me to be fully 24/7. Monday I saw all my doctors and from all the tests and all that fun stuff my issues are getting increasingly worse faster than initially thought. I have 6 months to a year and that’s if I’m really REALLY lucky before I am completely incontinent. I go next week to discuss the option of maybe thinking about trying surgery, but I know even without going over it yet that it’s a risky option, might not last, or even work since all my issues are because of muscles and nerves being damaged/dying. I’ve talked about it a lot with my partner and when it comes down to it, it’s my choice. I have a lot of spreadsheets and pros/con lists to make before I make a decision, and if I was to have to choose tomorrow I wouldn’t have an answer to the very last second, and even then. I have a couple mandatory surgeries I have to get in the next year, so I’m thinking that I need to focus on those first and foremost. Since making the choice to be 24/7 whether I’m out of the house or at home, I’ve started to feel a little bit better about things. I haven’t really left the house after what happened a bit over last week except to go to the doctors, but I will start slowly easing myself back into going out. I know I have to form a plan of letting those super close to me know about this, just in case, but will cross that bridge when I need to. Fighting with the insurance has been an absolute blast…. *sarcasm naturally* but insurance has always been the devil. For the time being and most likely for the seeable future insurance will not cover any of the supplies I need, but luckily that’s not really an issue knock on wood and hopefully it never will be. Things with my partner are decent, but it’s a learning process for both of us, and we’ve always had a super unconventional relationship so at least that makes things a tiny bit easier. So yeah like the title says, things are not awesome, but they aren’t as bad as they were. I have decided to stop fighting the need to wear 24/7 and stop hating myself anytime something happened,and started accepting the fact that yes I’m in my mid 30’s and I’m well on my way to being fully incontinent. Now I can start figuring out how to live my life.
 
Sounds like you have surgeries you will have to have unrelated. Probably issues that truly need to adjust to.
Living with incontinence is a process but you can an get used to it.
Wshig you strength to accept changes that are part of your ecosystem.
 
Zora said:
Hey all. So after my very public and humiliating accident little over a week ago, I’ve decided that it’s time for me to be fully 24/7. Monday I saw all my doctors and from all the tests and all that fun stuff my issues are getting increasingly worse faster than initially thought. I have 6 months to a year and that’s if I’m really REALLY lucky before I am completely incontinent. I go next week to discuss the option of maybe thinking about trying surgery, but I know even without going over it yet that it’s a risky option, might not last, or even work since all my issues are because of muscles and nerves being damaged/dying. I’ve talked about it a lot with my partner and when it comes down to it, it’s my choice. I have a lot of spreadsheets and pros/con lists to make before I make a decision, and if I was to have to choose tomorrow I wouldn’t have an answer to the very last second, and even then. I have a couple mandatory surgeries I have to get in the next year, so I’m thinking that I need to focus on those first and foremost. Since making the choice to be 24/7 whether I’m out of the house or at home, I’ve started to feel a little bit better about things. I haven’t really left the house after what happened a bit over last week except to go to the doctors, but I will start slowly easing myself back into going out. I know I have to form a plan of letting those super close to me know about this, just in case, but will cross that bridge when I need to. Fighting with the insurance has been an absolute blast…. *sarcasm naturally* but insurance has always been the devil. For the time being and most likely for the seeable future insurance will not cover any of the supplies I need, but luckily that’s not really an issue knock on wood and hopefully it never will be. Things with my partner are decent, but it’s a learning process for both of us, and we’ve always had a super unconventional relationship so at least that makes things a tiny bit easier. So yeah like the title says, things are not awesome, but they aren’t as bad as they were. I have decided to stop fighting the need to wear 24/7 and stop hating myself anytime something happened,and started accepting the fact that yes I’m in my mid 30’s and I’m well on my way to being fully incontinent. Now I can start figuring out how to live my life.
 
Wishing you well. It sounds like you are keeping a good perspective despite the challenges. Good luck as you make your decisions.
 
Hi Zora,
I think that it's best to do what you are most comfortable with at this point. The best way to avoid any more humiliating incidents like what happened to you last week is to be fully protected so that way if the inevitable should happen you are prepared for it and no one is any the wiser and no one else other than you has to know!
By all means do get back to the point where you feel you can go out again and by wearing something that's appropriate (make that appropriately absorbent) you can do that without calling undue attention to yourself. After all you do have a life to live and that isn't easy to accomplish if you keep yourself locked up at home. When you do venture outside no one will know because everyone is so absorbed with their own issues and going about their own lives. So please don't let it throw you! Just dust yourself off and get back on the horse and ride like you were meant to do!!
And there is no way of knowing for sure that by a certain arbitrary time you will be incontinent. Sure it may be 6 to 12 months or it may not be ever! There's always the possibility you won't get worse. After all bodies don't run on schedules like trains do but that said, a body is going to do what it's going to do regardless of what "they" say it will do.
And please don't hate yourself because of what now seems to be worsening incontinence. Just think, it may not even get any worse. It may get better. That's a strange part of being human. If it does get worse there are many others who are in the same boat.
But whatever happens do live your life as a real adventure because that's what the journey of life is. It is what you make it! And whenever you feel any doubts you know where to find us, 24/7/365!!
 
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