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Staff member
I told my boss yesterday about my incontinence.
We're rearranging things at work. For the past three years, I've had a private office in an office trailer parked just outside our main facility, but we've recently been able to lease some extra space so we are getting rid of the trailer. My office is moving to a cubicle in a project area. There will be one coworker who will share the room with me, and two other employees share the adjoining room that is accessed by a double-wide doorway with no door in it.
Since the space is largely for my projects, I planned out how I wanted to arrange it, and I set up a cubicle so that it would give me some privacy. I've appreciated being able to close my office door and change a diaper if I need to, and I know that I won't be able to do that with a cubicle, but I still want some privacy to deal with any "wardrobe issues" that I can do there instead of having to run to the restroom every time. I'm also very much an introvert, and I value my privacy and my time alone.
As I was moving all my stuff into the new space on Tuesday, my boss came in. He tends to be a bit of a micromanager, and I occasionally have to push back on him to give myself room to get my job done. In this case, he told me that he wanted me to move a large cabinet that I'd set up to define a boundary between my cubicle and the project space, and told me to shift my cubicle against the wall instead of having an area for guests to sit without being behind my desk. I wasn't in a mood to push back, mostly because I've been in a lot of pain with my interstitial cystitis flare. So I just grumbled a bit and moved stuff the way he'd told me, figuring I can always rearrange it later. During the discussion about it, though, he asked me why I want "all this privacy," implying that I'm trying to hide something from him or keep him from checking up on my work.
I had a conversation with him today. I was able to catch him in his office during a time that he wasn't on a conference call or a Zoom meeting, and I explained to him that I'm an introvert and like my alone time, and that I sometimes need someplace to go to pull myself together when things are stressful. Then I went on to tell him that I have interstitial cystitis, and that when it's acting up my bladder leaks. He went on to tell me that incontinence is not something I should feel ashamed of, and that everyone we work with is an adult and wouldn't spread rumors or snicker at me behind my back. The thing is, I've worked at this company for five years now, and I've seen plenty of that sort of behavior. I tried to explain how stigmatizing incontinence is, but I don't think he really got that.
One thing he did offer is that I could move into a spare office in the main hallway of our facility. I don't really want to do that, though, since I think being right next to some of my main projects is going to be very helpful.
I suppose time will tell if telling him will be a good move or a bad move. I don't think he'll tell anyone else about my incontinence (and I told him up front that if word got out, I'd probably quit. He doesn't want to lose me, since I'm often the only person who can fix some of our production machinery.
What do others think? Was telling him the right way to handle this?
We're rearranging things at work. For the past three years, I've had a private office in an office trailer parked just outside our main facility, but we've recently been able to lease some extra space so we are getting rid of the trailer. My office is moving to a cubicle in a project area. There will be one coworker who will share the room with me, and two other employees share the adjoining room that is accessed by a double-wide doorway with no door in it.
Since the space is largely for my projects, I planned out how I wanted to arrange it, and I set up a cubicle so that it would give me some privacy. I've appreciated being able to close my office door and change a diaper if I need to, and I know that I won't be able to do that with a cubicle, but I still want some privacy to deal with any "wardrobe issues" that I can do there instead of having to run to the restroom every time. I'm also very much an introvert, and I value my privacy and my time alone.
As I was moving all my stuff into the new space on Tuesday, my boss came in. He tends to be a bit of a micromanager, and I occasionally have to push back on him to give myself room to get my job done. In this case, he told me that he wanted me to move a large cabinet that I'd set up to define a boundary between my cubicle and the project space, and told me to shift my cubicle against the wall instead of having an area for guests to sit without being behind my desk. I wasn't in a mood to push back, mostly because I've been in a lot of pain with my interstitial cystitis flare. So I just grumbled a bit and moved stuff the way he'd told me, figuring I can always rearrange it later. During the discussion about it, though, he asked me why I want "all this privacy," implying that I'm trying to hide something from him or keep him from checking up on my work.
I had a conversation with him today. I was able to catch him in his office during a time that he wasn't on a conference call or a Zoom meeting, and I explained to him that I'm an introvert and like my alone time, and that I sometimes need someplace to go to pull myself together when things are stressful. Then I went on to tell him that I have interstitial cystitis, and that when it's acting up my bladder leaks. He went on to tell me that incontinence is not something I should feel ashamed of, and that everyone we work with is an adult and wouldn't spread rumors or snicker at me behind my back. The thing is, I've worked at this company for five years now, and I've seen plenty of that sort of behavior. I tried to explain how stigmatizing incontinence is, but I don't think he really got that.
One thing he did offer is that I could move into a spare office in the main hallway of our facility. I don't really want to do that, though, since I think being right next to some of my main projects is going to be very helpful.
I suppose time will tell if telling him will be a good move or a bad move. I don't think he'll tell anyone else about my incontinence (and I told him up front that if word got out, I'd probably quit. He doesn't want to lose me, since I'm often the only person who can fix some of our production machinery.
What do others think? Was telling him the right way to handle this?
