Something you don't talk about

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A Piece of Poetry on my incontinence.
Hope you all enjoy.

"Something you don't talk about"

Its something you dont talk about
The feeling, the pain, the urgency.
Why does everytime i go to the bathroom -
Feel like an emergency?

People dont understand; they kid, they joke, they clown.
But dealing with this condition -
Id pass anyone the crown.

The doctors push you in; the medicine is
Pushed out. But when your home,
All you want to do is scream, shut down and shout.

Its not that big of a deal people say;
But why is it still on my mind last month, last week, and today?

Maybe itd be different if the whole world knew, the times your not protected and have accidents - thats taboo.

But we dont talk about that - my life feels like an impossible maze. Standing in the pharmacy, med store, with my head held down in shame.

Did i mention the diapers? Yeah there called protection and briefs. But call them diapers, culture will see you as a baby or worse yet - a freak.

What happens to the people who fall in between the cracks - the people who need guidance, support, and understanding to live underneath the slacks.

Youre welcome here in this forum thats engraven; ive found the NAFC - is my only safe Haven.

The world can be ignorant; to the ones who have no control. The people who need support- because they are filled with self doubt.

But always remember -
Its something you DON'T talk about.

 

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I have to give credit where credit is due,
This is a remarkable poem composed by you.

Your rhyme and verses are all well mated,
As your message is very well stated.

 

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You nailed exactly how I feel.

 

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Well done!!!

 

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@Honeeecombs Great poem and certainly nails how I feel about things.

Interesting about what to call various products. I came across an article about the subject which resonated: clickable text.

I suppose I fall into the second camp in the article as I was wearing nappies at night for a fair while after most kids and I really don't see the difference between those and what I have to wear now. That being said, I hate euphemisms anyway and feel it's important to take ownership of words and terms (I know others disagree and I respect that). I've also found that it can cause issues - I call them pads to medical professionals because I don't want them to get the wrong idea but I've had instances where people get the wrong end of the stick, assuming I'm wearing pads you put in your underwear. The way I see it pads, pull ups and nappies/diapers are three different products.


I really feel the baby/freak thing. I'll add another thing to that - old! It really bugs me that manufacturers ignore the fact that so many younger adults have issues; so many disabilities have incontinence as an aspect of them. It also really bugs me that by far the best quality products are the printed products but I feel unclean using various suppliers to get them for obvious reasons. I mean, the quantity I order and the fact I'm VAT due to chronic conditions means it's obvious I'm getting them for a genuine reason but it still feels weird. Some better quality products from the regular brands, with designs aimed at younger adults is a real gap that needs filling in my opinion. The whole stigma around incontinence needs to end and I think it's great that the campaign for more Changing Places toilets in the UK is effectively doing that.

 

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Hi @Honeeecombs, that was excellent!!! You got that nailed down pat!! And it really brings home what incontinence is really like.
But you're so right in that the world is so ignorant of those who have no control. But maybe someday, with a lot of education and a lot more open minds, people will be more willing to talk about it.
I think the title and the very last sentence sums it up wonderfully!!
And @Greensleeves, you're also a poet and you did know "et"!!!!
I think @Sci_Fi_Fan also sums up the poem with the stigma around incontinence needs to end and points out that the Changing Places campaign in England is a good way to address that. So let's all work to end that stigma!!!

 

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@Honeeecombs I’m impressed and I love it!!!!!!

 

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@Sci_Fi_Fan Incontinence definitely makes me feel like a freak and so sad I was suicidal and stuck in bed for 2-3 years, though actually the part about feeling really old (twice my age, I figure) because of the sum of my physical conditions is what weighs on me the most. I’ve been robbed of my midlife. I have become much better about accepting and talking about incontinence, as evidenced hear when I say things like, “Diapers are your best friend,” - my top best friends even know (about 7) - but the aging part makes me feel so lonely even when I’m with my besties and family. That’s the reality of trauma; everyone around you seems to get keep going on their chosen path while you’re stuck in time and space. It’s a very strange, sad experience and it’s impossible to convey to someone who hasn’t been through real trauma.