Responses if someone calls you out

[Archives1]

Just wondering, if anyone has ever been called out, what did you say in response?

To my knowledge, I don't think anyone has ever noticed, but I guess if anyone were to ever make a rude or insensitive comment to me, I would tell them, "Maybe someday, when you grow up, you'll wear diapers too."

 

[Archives1]

I have only ever been called out twice so far. Once when I was working security and once by my cousin.

When I was doing security a couple of the other guards figured out I was wearing and asked me about it. I tried dodging it, but they kept pestering u til I answered. I explained to them I got injured in the army, and they let it go and never said anything else about it.

My cousin works in a nursing home and she saw the front wing sticking up above my pant waistline when I was helping her move. She asked (cause she knew what it was from working with people wearing them all the time) and again I explained.

So far I haven't had anyone be an ass about it. Though I'm sure there are people out there who would be. So far either no1 else has noticed, or they have been good enough not to say anything.

 

[Archives1]

I've never had anyone say anything to me about wearing them but then again everyone knows what I went through.I even told a couple cousins without them asking about it and they just said that they didn't care .

 

[Archives1]

Never been called out but id say I've bladder control problems and my dr recommended I wear protection to stop my pants getting wet.

 

[Archives1]

The only people who have ever mentioned that I was wearing a diaper have been physicians whom I was consulting about a matter not related to my incontinence, such as a sinus infection. That as happened two or three times over the years. I just explained that I have urge urinary incontinence, and that was the end.

 

[Archives1]

never happened to me....I have a slight feeling a few people at work know but they're decent enough human beings to mind their own business.

If someone ever did say something like "hey do you wear diapers dude?" or something , I'd say, "yes I do unfortunately, but it's better than pissing my pants right?".

It would depend on how rude or, conversely, caringly someone was inquiring. If a close friend asked compassionately, I'd probably just tell the truth. If a co worker or mere acquaintance asked just to satisfy their own curiosity I'd probably just say something like, "yeah I have some pretty bad medical issues with my bladder, I'd appreciate if you kept this to yourself, ya know??"

It's an embarrassing condition and, while effective, diapers are a pretty embarrassing way to manage it. But 5 years in, I've lost most of my "shame" over it. I try pretty hard to keep it private but if some kind of slip up reveals it then whatever so be it. Someone knowing or not knowing is going to have no effect of whether or not I continue to wear them....same with a rude person. Mock me, fine...I'll still be in diapers tomorrow. Point is, crap like that are externalities that can't actually impact me, so I give them the attention they deserve: none.


I'm 38 and work in a very professional white collar career, where HR would not take kindly to someone being harrassed at work over a medical issue. As I have lost most of my shame over this and just want to live my best life, I would really have no problem marching into HR and telling them that a coworker found out about my incontinence and use of adult diaper and that I'm filing a formal complaint.

Out in public, with strangers, I hardly care. I'm sure there have been plenty of times over the last 5 years that I've exposed my diaper reaching up on a store shelf or whatever. Also, changing in public bathroom, the sound of changing a diaper is pretty obvious...Also I don't put wet diapers back in my bag. I carry them to the trash by the sink and toss them, in plain view... I don't care, AT ALL, who sees and never once has anyone ever said something rude.

I honestly think most people (adults anyway) who see my diaper or can tell I'm wearing one probably feel bad for me.

 

[Archives1]

Wow!

I guess products really have evolved as far as I would like to believe then. To the point they're not really noticeable or audible.

I have to believe though, anyone who would say something insensitive would most likely be someone younger or a boorish older person who hasn't developed a sense of being tactful.

Also, as I and many others have said before, I think people are so self absorbed in their own day to day activities they don't notice much about the world around them.

 

[Archives1]

@MikeJames I am totally in agreement with you there, and I have on had to actually report 1 person to HR for it before. It was when I was working at a juvenile detention center as a security guard. One of the other guards apparently noticed, and started talking about it with the kids. Very unprofessional. He got fired, but problem was the damage was done. I ended up having to leave that job, because the kids wouldn't listen to what I was telling them anymore. Got ridiculous.

Also in agreement with public restrooms. I dont keep any used diapers in my bag. Makes it smell after a couple. So I just throw it away in the bin. Do mbv care if it is by the sink or by the door. I throw it away.

 

[Archives1]

I had a time when I did a diaper change and went to a CVS to pick up some medication. Well I was an idiot and forgot to make sure my shirt wasn’t tucked in to my diaper. Standing in line waiting a little girl behind me yelled “mommy! he has a diaper!” and I immediately knew my screw up. Her mom tried to shush her but I told her it was fine. A few seconds later she asked her mom why I’m wearing one. Again her mom (who was more red faced than I was) tried to quiet her. So I told the girl that I hurt my back and because of that I have to wear diapers. I thought gay would be the end but kids ask a lot of questions... a lot. I had to tell her mom that it’s fine every time she asked a question. After I got my medication and was in my way out an elderly couple stopped me and said I handled it well and proceeded to tell me their life stories and their medical problems. I just wanted to go home. Lol.

 

[Archives1]

Wow!

I guess products really have evolved as far as I would like to believe then. To the point they're not really noticeable or audible.

I have to believe though, anyone who would say something insensitive would most likely be someone younger or a boorish older person who hasn't developed a sense of being tactful.

Also, as I and many others have said before, I think people are so self absorbed in their own day to day activities they don't notice much about the world around them.

I don't know...yes and no....my diapers are kind of bulky...Better Dry. They're top tier serious diapers. Even still, under properly fitting pants they're just not that obvious. I don't worry about it AT ALL if I can wear my shirt untucked.....at work well with a tucked in shirt, it is what it is. Maybe everyone knows, I don't know hahaha.

In an office or really anywhere with ambient noise no one can hear a plastic diaper crinkle under jeans or khakis....sweatpants? yeah.

 

[Archives1]

No one has ever said anything to me. Someone has asked my wife if I wear adult nappies though to which she told them I am incontinent. It doesn't bother me if people notice.

 

[Archives1]

I’ve only run into a couple times with people I had been dating asking why I needed them more out of curiosity and to make sure I was physically okay.
I did have an interesting conversation with a younger cashier who wears depend pull ups asking me how long a big bag last me because they were only lasting her a week. That was kind of cool since no one was around. We got to chat for a couple minutes and I think she was happy that she wasn’t in it by herself.

Most people don’t really care. They just like people for who they are.

Good topic

 

[Archives1]

A lot of good responses here. I've never been called out because mainly I use the pull-up type and under a pair of relaxed fit jeans they are not all that obvious. Although someday there may come a time when I'd need something even more absorbent and I would need to adapt then as I had to adapt to even wearing protection in the first place. I agree that most people you encounter casually are so involved in their own lives that they wouldn't even notice. And even if they did, could it be that they themselves are wearing or at least familiar with this incontinence thing? I think so! It's that old "it takes one to know one." And that isn't so bad. If someone were to ask me and they prefaced it by saying, {"I've been having these problems...." then I would certainly tell this person about it and what to expect. I would think the only ones who could cause problems would be younger people and others who just haven't learned how to have mature relationships. Unfortunately there are people in the world like that. My response would be, "So why do you ask?" and just leave.

 

[Archives1]

I've only been "called out" twice but it both cases it wasn't bad since both people were good friends and knew ahead of time that I wore protection.
Once I was helping one of my best friends with some yard work and my shirt rode up in back exposing my diaper. He jokingly commented that my "Depends" were showing. We both got a laugh from that and just kept on working. Another time the wife of a neighbor was over for morning coffee and mentioned "the bulge" in my sweatpants when I walked into the kitchen. That was a bit embarrassing but I know she was just kidding me (for exactly what I didn't ask)! She also knew I wear protection since her husband had had prostate cancer and when I started having leakage issues he was someone I had confided in. I assumed he would talk about that with his wife but I didn't mind since she was also a good friend.
Otherwise, even if someone could tell I was wearing a diaper they've never said anything. If they did I'd just say that I've got prostate issues (which is true) which at my age probably wouldn't surprise anyone. I'd be happy to go into detail but I suspect that at that point 99.9% would either be disinterested or embarrassed.

 

[Archives1]

Good responses, Padded 53. And even if someone you don't know could tell you're wearing and mentions anything or makes a snide comment, it really and truly is none of their business!

 

[Archives1]

I seem to have the don’t care attitude that most people have posted so far. My biggest concern this past year was unknowingly exposing my ostomy bag. Sometimes it would peak out under my shirt. I would never notice, As I can’t see what they see. Also, having that colostomy bag for almost 8 months, you just forget about it. My wife would always tell me it’s showing and I would adjust my shirt. I really think that 99% of the people out there are too concerned with their own lives to care about whether a person they see is wearing a diaper or an ostomy appliance. Live and let live.