Outed by a 3 Year Old

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This was easily the most embarrassed I have been in my adult life. I was sitting with my wife, our neighbor and our newborn baby last night. Our neighbor had watched my two older children (3 and7) all day. We were all enjoying the new baby when my neighbor told us the what my three year old said to her that day.
She told us that she was putting a new pull-up on my daughter when she said, “My daddy wears diapers to bed just like me!”
I just sat there for a moment in disbelief. It was so surreal hearing those words coming from our friend.
I tried to play it off. I said, “I think she is mistaking ‘tighty whities’ for diapers. “Maybe I should switch to boxers.” My wife laughed and I tried to look like I was not embarrassed.
I think maybe she believed me, because she kept joking about it. She called me “diaper boy” once and laughed. She also mentioned that she did not ask for details, as she wanted to be able to look me in the face.
Things stayed friendly and light-hearted, but now I’m left wondering what she really thinks.
I am mortified.

 

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Out of the mouths of Babes

 

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Meh I would have been honest. I have had these types of situations happen before. I am in diapers 24/7 due to no urinary control from nerve damage, but I just always explain I have a medical condition and these are the appropriate medical supplies to treat my condition. If anyone says anything at all. I understand the embarrassment 100%, but the only way to lower/end the stigma of diapers is to be open, and honest about them.

Hopefully though your neighbor is the type of person to not spread rumors whether she believed your explanation or not, and not treat you differently as well.

 

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I think it is more embarrassing because I don’t have a medical condition to attribute it to. I’m just a bed wetter.

 

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I hate to be the one to say this but anyone who resorts to name calling even in a fltratious way (yep Im calling it) is not someone who deserves to be trusted liked or perhaps around your children

For the future remember you can look someone in the eye and say "I have a medical condition that necessitates things,. It's called OAB." Be prepared to do that soon.
Ts ok to not explain your bedwetting also.

Simply say I have a medical condition that sometimes is awkward.
And the punch line:
Look em in the eye and say:
I HOPE THIS NEVER HAPPENS TO YOU

 

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Thats a medical condition in it's own right. I wet at night for seemingly no reason until I was about 17. I understand the stigma there too. Unfortunately I was only out of diapers for 4 years before I was injured, and had to wear them all the time instead of just at night.

I understand not wanting to tell her too though. Tbh it's still none of her business even if your daughter said that to her. I think you handled it very well.

 

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I agree with may also btw. If she started name calling (even "playfully") it's probably best you didn't tell her anything.

 

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Yep Draconic is right.

 

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Not quite the same as an adult experience but I remember when was 8 or 9 back in 1979 or 1980 and my sister who was 4 years younger outed me.

We were at the grocery store and for my bed wetting at that time I was back in night diapers. At the checkout the cashier joked to my sister that she looked kind of big to still need diapers. My sister was quick to point over to me and say they were for her brother. Unfortunately my mom just smiled at me and said "see? Maybe you should keep your bed dry at night"

Not fun experience but I understand the shameful feeling.

 

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I appreciate the comments. It will be interesting to see if anything else is ever said…

 

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It might be name callers always looking for a hook line

Be careful to not give your daughter a big deal about it young children pick up on energy and will harp on what is an emotional trigger not understanding what they are doing

 

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here's an ad for bedwetting long before Goodnites

 

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It might be name callers always looking for a hook line

Be careful to not give your daughter a big deal about it young children pick up on energy and will harp on what is an emotional trigger not understanding what they are doing

Oh 100% agree. Although the one time I explained the grocery store incident, there were many more. My sister was empowered at a young age to tell people about my bedwetting and my parents were ok with it because they thought motivated me to stop wetting. I wasn't in night diapers my whole childhood but those times I was were the worst because all of my family thought it was funny.

 

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These are sad responses to the top post. Making fun of anybody's disability is cruel. And parents and siblings can be the worst. Most people don't understand at all. I asked my granddaughter's 17 year old friend if she knew what incontinent meant and she had no idea. So I had to explain to her my condition and ask her to please leave the toilet seat lid up and the bathroom door in my bedroom open when she stays all night, so I could make it in time. I was in my 70's before I knew what that meant even though I had the condition! (People didn't talk about such things!) I learned about it when my mother had to buy 30 pair of panties because of her condition! She finally went to pull-ups in her late 80's. But that didn't stop her from living. She and I went para-sailing in South Padre Island, Texas when she was 86 years old.
When my youngest daughter was a nighttime bed-wetter I tried everything I could to "make" her stop wetting the bed. Finally I told her that if she would quit I would get her a canopy bed. She was motivated but unable to comply, but I got her the bed anyway! Then I learned about the alarm system and that worked; even though it took almost two years of constant nighttime awakenings. It was worth it. If it had been one of my older three children I don't know that I could have kept up the routine.

I remember that Michael Landon of the TV series "Little House on the Prairie" was a bed wetter. Do you think anybody made fun of him after he became an adult? I thought he was very brave and accepting of his condition.

 

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Speaking of Michael Landon he wrote and directed a movie based on his experiences as a bedwetter

The Loneliest Runner (TV Movie 1976) ⭐ 7.2 | Drama, Sport

1h 14m

www.imdb.com

The Loneliest Runner
TV Movie
1976
1h 14m

A young boy who still wets the bed finds escapism from his abusive mother and his own embarrassment by going running after school.

Director
Michael Landon
Writer
Michael Landon


Storyline
A thirteen year-old bed wetter runs home from school every day to retrieve the wet sheet his mother has hung from his bedroom window to punish him. He races to get there before any of his friends pass the house. This enforced training prepares him to become a competitive runner. The script, by Michael Landon, is autobiographical

These are sad responses to the top post. Making fun of anybody's disability is cruel. And parents and siblings can be the worst. Most people don't understand at all. I asked my granddaughter's 17 year old friend if she knew what incontinent meant and she had no idea. So I had to explain to her my condition and ask her to please leave the toilet seat lid up and the bathroom door in my bedroom open when she stays all night, so I could make it in time. I was in my 70's before I knew what that meant even though I had the condition! (People didn't talk about such things!) I learned about it when my mother had to buy 30 pair of panties because of her condition! She finally went to pull-ups in her late 80's. But that didn't stop her from living. She and I went para-sailing in South Padre Island, Texas when she was 86 years old.
When my youngest daughter was a nighttime bed-wetter I tried everything I could to "make" her stop wetting the bed. Finally I told her that if she would quit I would get her a canopy bed. She was motivated but unable to comply, but I got her the bed anyway! Then I learned about the alarm system and that worked; even though it took almost two years of constant nighttime awakenings. It was worth it. If it had been one of my older three children I don't know that I could have kept up the routine.

I remember that Michael Landon of the TV series "Little House on the Prairie" was a bed wetter. Do you think anybody made fun of him after he became an adult? I thought he was very brave and accepting of his condition.

 

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Michael Landon did a spin off or maybe stand alone series from Little House called Father Murphy and it had one episode that addressed bedwetting. I remember it was 2 brothers and everyone thought the younger brother was wetting but later in the show it turned out to be the older brother. Unfortunately it wasn't a pleasant memory watching it (another embarrassing story as a kid happened that night for me) but it always stayed with me since me and that kid on the show were probably the same age.

 

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@JustAGuy I'm sorry this happened. It must have been mortifying and I completely understand why you tried to laugh it off. I would have done the same.

This is just another illustration of how deep the stigma of incontinence runs, and how impossibly hard it will be for this to ever change.

I hope you can find someone better than this to mind your children in future.

 

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Then I learned about the alarm system and that worked; even though it took almost two years of constant nighttime awakenings.

Food for thought, after 2 years she might have just grown out of it, and the alarm may have been incidental at that point. It's human nature to attribute the solution to whatever thing you happened to be doing at the time, even if it was just coincidence.

 

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@JustAGuy When my son was in preschool I went to pick him up one day and his teachers greeted me with, "Don't be embarrassed. We want to tell you what your son said to us today". I was sure he had outted me too. It turned out he just said something gross and funny about poop.

I have one more in preschool now. Hopeful this one doesn't out me at school either.

 

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@JustAGuy That was an uncomfortable situation, but it seems you handled it well. I've never been outed about my bedwetting but then not many people know. Have had a few comments that felt awkward but were not directed to me as being a bedwetter. I'll reply to @JC1471 about one.

JT