Non-catheter options

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I want to start by saying that my husband does not have a urologist. YET. Long story as to why, but his GP has been throwing pills at him for enlarged prostate, snd they’re not doing much.

Our first urology appt is May 1. This after he stopped peeing. Took him to the ER. They installed a catheter and referred him to the urologist.

The bigger picture is he has dementia which is becoming more than I can handle. Residential places say they can’t take care of the catheter and bag. I have to pay a nurse to come in and do it several times a day. State law, they say. We are way short of having enough money to pay for that kind of care.

So, we need to get rid of that plumbing. And it needs to happen sooner than later so that I don’t lose my job! I’m worried that the urologist is going to put us through months of trying this and that and throwing more pills at him before taking assertive action.

Those of you who have gone through surgical or non-surgical physical intervention to get things flowing again…was there a big build up of tests and a wait-and-see period? Am I being unrealistic wanting something to happen quickly?

 

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Can’t speak about the US system, in Australia I went from nothing to prostate surgery in just over a month, including all the tests (a lot of tests). 5 years before I underwent Rezume non invasive surgery which worked well until the cancer showed up.

My heart broke a little for your situation, I am so sorry.

 

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I have a suprapubic catheter. I do not understand why a nurse is needed so often or why a care home can't deal with a catheter bag. They are quite easy to maintain.

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Can they put an indwelling catheter in, they usually can be left in for up to three months then you shouldn’t have to have the nurse come in while you are waiting for an answer. Wishing you the best.

 

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Please get on a dementia support site and also get help from the council on aging.
It seems like you are ready to pick a residence to take him in and with that in mind need to get the catheter out sooner rather than later.

 

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Explain the situation to the urologist and ask for their opinion and help. Examination with possible tests such as MRI or cystoscope or ultrasound to see how enlarged the prostate is. Also may require a course of antibiotics if prostate is inflamed. If the prostate is enlarged to the point that it is inhibiting urine flow, there are several different procedures that can be done to basically open up the flow channel. But a trained urologist has to examine and recommend what needs to be done.

 

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@Crimsicle @Maymay941

What Maymay said. Get help from the Council on Aging.

I am not even 40 yet and there are full care homes that I qualify for.

*On a sensitive note* If you cannot take care of your husband due to his condition then look into medical separation. My grandparents have this already. It separates your health insurance, Bills and all so "YOU" are not responsible for "HIS" bills. Any local lawyer can walk you through it but a lot can be found online about it and set up.

Put everything into a Trust with you as the benefactor and name anyone you want as the benefactor or caretaker if something happens to you. This will protect your house. My grandparent's house, cars, and assets have been managed by my parents for years now and they are both able to do it themselves still. *But what it has done is* "No Mr. Hospital man, we don't own any property or big assets"


My Pop had several seizures and doctors were like, you need to see this person. Well, his insurance was like we only pay for this much if you have this many assets. Now that is not a problem.


Never sell your house to pay for your spouse's medical bills, those are their bills, and hospitals are federally supported.

The system is rigged against anyone who has made good money so you have to play the game against the system.

Hope this helps

 

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@ThatFLGuy I agree with you completely and this is great advice!

@Crimsicle I would expect all the testing and appointments to take probably six months. Hopefully that could include any potential surgery. I don’t understand why a home won’t let him have a catheter because my grandmother was in residential homes (not dementia ones, though) for 12 years in Utah and always had a catheter. I believe hers was indwelling because it was constantly there.

 

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I experienced BPH prior to my prostate cancer discovery and used medications which did not help followed by surgery which did. I am not familiar with Rezum, dont think it was approved when I was looking at available procedures. I initially tried Urolift which did not work followed by the Transurethral Resection of the Prostate or "TURP" which at the time was considered the standard of care for BPH related surgeries. It did work allowiung me to urinate more easily and on demand but also revealed my prostate cancer which led to the complete removal of the prostate via prostatectomy procedure.

 

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Y’all have given me some things to think about. I really appreciate it. We seem to be somewhat invisible to the healthcare system. I’m learning as much as I can online, but that comes with its own set of problems. Can’t wait until I can talk to the urologist!

 

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UPDATE - We saw the urologist, and he did several tests, including filling my husband's bladder with water and then seeing if he could pass it. Nothing. So, then they went in with a camera and found that my husband's prostate was so enlarged that it was squishing everything...most importantly the tubes whereby urine exits. Nothing was going to come through that passageway. He said my husband's GP had been doing all the right things and had put him on the right medications quite some time ago. So, he decided to skip straight to the corrective measures. My husband is having a TURP procedure on the 14th. That's a Tuesday. They will try to eliminate the foley that following Friday. And, of course, next steps all hinge on how that goes. The program I want to get my husband in for dementia will take him with a diaper...but not a foley. So, that's a big goal. He has made his way to the top of that waiting list, and they know what's going on, so they pledged to put him "next in line" once his incontinence issues are under control.

One step at a time.

Thanks for listening and for contributing your experiences. It's very helpful!

 

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Good advocating for him