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Ive struggled with having accidents all my life and im 27 now. Im a lifelong bedwetter and also peed in my pants long past being too old to be doing it. Even though my daytime wetting has gradually gotten less, it still happens. As a start, i took FOREVER to potty train. No joke, at eight years old, i still wet my pants at least once a day. So many reasons: anxiety, fear, holding it too long because i was preoccupied with play, too shy to ask my teacher, sometimes not even realizing i had to go potty until it was starting to slide down my leg. I was literally a hopeless case and my classmates teased me mercilessly. My teachers quickly got sick of having to watch me and catch me like a 2 year old and i still remember my shame at 7 years old when my 2nd grade teacher told my mom that i clearly wasnt potty trained and to please start sending me to school in a pullup. My mother who was a pretty angry and often physically abusive wonan in general, was clearly sick of the piles of laundry by this time, all because of her eldest child and she said fine. I was crying on the ride home but my mom didnt give in. She said "as soon as you stop pissing yourself like a baby, you can wear panties again." I really tried but my timing was so bad and still isnt great. I remember waking up each morning, in a soaked, swollen night diaper and telling myself "i wont wet my pants today. I wont." But despite my best efforts, it seemed that at least once, i wouldnt make it to the bathroom in time. I remember clearly the FIRST day that i managed to get thru an entire day without needing dry clothes. No joke, it was the last day of fifth grade. I was so excited to tell my mom. When i got home i ran i to the kitchen. "Mom guess what? I stayed dry all day!" My mom didnt even look up from cooking dinner. "Shi, your eleven years old. Every kid in your class except you has been doing that for years." I was crushed as i left the kitchen, head bowed. She was right of course. I had nothing to be proud of for momentarily mastering such an elementary skill. By high school, i was luckily no longer wetting daily for the most part but typically a few times a week, still needed spare clothes in my locker. High school was hell. One girl in particular made me her special project.whenever the urge struck her, she would say in front of the whole class like a mother to her toddler. "Shi, do you need to go potty? Do you think you should try?" Everyone thought it was hilarious. I was humiliated. At sixteen after a particularly public wetting, suddenly needing to go during gym class and of course ending up in a puddle on my waY to the bathroom, she brought me a little walmart bag the next day with a few infant size pampers and a little psck of wipes to show her "concern" and presented it to me in front of all my classmates. When i threw it at her, i got detention. Nothing was even said to her. I dropped out of school middle of 11th grade. It wasnt worth it. I started therapy for ptsd a year ago and its helping alot. Because of my sympoms, my therapist and med dr both agree that it seems like my bladder is sometimes quite late getting the signal from my brain that i need to pee because more often thsn not, the times when i have an accident, i suddenly feel the need to pee but it feels like ive been holding it for hours and it hurts and it immediately starts trying to come out. Like desperate. And then...too late. I have alot of close calls and i always carry spare clothes but its not usually a daily thing anymore, 1-4 times a week. I still wet every night but since im petite and thin i can wear goidnites pullups and except for an ocxasional overflow, my pajsmas and bed stay dry. Even though im used to it, i hate being so accident prone and feeling all alone when i have an accident in my pants. Im glad i found this forum. Looks like theres alot if people who struggle just like me.
