have you asked at the local hospital if they have any groups.
any community centers in your town might
Ask your GP for reference to mental health professionals locally and ask those counselors
i would think travel to a group might be difficult in a MN winter.
Of course, you can talk in groups like this forum on line but there is no moderator here.
Take a deep breath, organize financially for the holiday and then engage with people who are truly glad to see you, who welcome you just as you are. im thinking frankly, animal shelters NEED and want you. Food distribution and holiday meal providers NEED you. Go where they are glad to see you so the pain is diverted to one side, IF you can. Not to dismiss or diminish that you need to be heard, respected and cared for too. This group is a good place to come for judgementsl support.
We know you are more than the sum of your parts here, good for you Petejc to speak up!