Just feeling worthless

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Its currently 6am for me. I have to go to work in a few hours and give a presentation about food safety. Except I woke up not long ago like I usually do...in a wet diaper. Most of the time, my bedwetting doesn't get me down or the fact I manage with diapers.


But every so often it hits me. I feel like a totally worthless adult. I feel like nothing I do matters because something in me is broken. I know there are others here with varying degrees of IC, and I totally commend you guys for carrying on.


But Im 35 now. I just get bogged down and revert to my childhood feelings of embarrassment amd the idea that EVERYBODY I encounter just KNOWS. And the insecurity creeps into daily interactions like "what if xx found out" and so forth. Ugh.


I've seen a therapist a few times in the last year, and he's been helping me to not let me define myself with this, but its a slow progress. I just hate it.

 

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I’m so sorry youtr feeling that way. I think most people, myself included, go through bouts of that. The only thing that helps me is to dive into something else to distract me, and to remind myself that tomorrow I will inevitably feel differently.

 

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Hi @Adam86 I totally get where you are coming from. My issues is only with bedwetting too and for the most part I just deal with it as if it is really no big deal.

However, like you, sometimes it totally gets me down. It is so random as to when and how these feelings hit. I feel frustrated, ashamed, and just down right bad about having to deal with bedwetting at my age.

In the end the feeling goes away and I'm back to realizing that my bedwetting in the big picture of life is really no big deal. Just an inconvenience from time to time.

Your feelings are totally real an can be expected. Just don't let them ruin your day. No at your presentation will know or care how you morning started out. They just want to hear the information you have to present. And even if they did know how your day started, I bet, they still would be more interested in your presentation that and extra steps you had to take this morning.

So go out there and give a great presentation with no worries about you bedwetting cause I bet no one else there is worried about it.

JT

 

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Hi @Adam86 I totally get where you are coming from. My issues is only with bedwetting too and for the most part I just deal with it as if it is really no big deal.

However, like you, sometimes it totally gets me down. It is so random as to when and how these feelings hit. I feel frustrated, ashamed, and just down right bad about having to deal with bedwetting at my age.

In the end the feeling goes away and I'm back to realizing that my bedwetting in the big picture of life is really no big deal. Just an inconvenience from time to time.

Your feelings are totally real an can be expected. Just don't let them ruin your day. No at your presentation will know or care how you morning started out. They just want to hear the information you have to present. And even if they did know how your day started, I bet, they still would be more interested in your presentation that and extra steps you had to take this morning.

So go out there and give a great presentation with no worries about you bedwetting cause I bet no one else there is worried about it.

JT

Thanks for the encouragement! You're 100% right. It is just an inconvenience, and one that nobody knows about. And that's exactly how it is for me most of the time. Waking up wet, doing a self check...it's all just routine. Most of the time I'm not even totally sure how wet I am until I actually feel my diaper. Having a wet diaper is just like a second nature at this point.

 

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I feel your pain. I too go through severe bouts of depression. But I just look aroubd and discover how so many more people have it far worse than I do .Its then that I realize we are all suffering to some degree. We must be strong for each other. I dare not leave my home and yet you go to work. How I envy you You will be fine my friend. Yes it is dehumanizing. But look how much better off you are to others. Build on that. You have youth on your side. Carry a positive attitude and how you're going to beat this thing. I have full confidence in you that you will overcome this scurge.

 

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Wet morning diaper is a relief that I wore protection - I’m thankful if there is no leaks and able to make the bed to start the the day off - it’s a good feeling that the diaper did it’s job as like this morning - I switched back to mega max by northshore realizing I must void a few times during the night because the diaper is full to the max - no pun intended- lol

 

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Wet morning diaper is a relief that I wore protection - I’m thankful if there is no leaks and able to make the bed to start the the day off - it’s a good feeling that the diaper did it’s job as like this morning - I switched back to mega max by northshore realizing I must void a few times during the night because the diaper is full to the max - no pun intended- lol

Very true. Wet morning diaper is MUCH better than the alternatives. I haven't tried mega max yet. I currently have both better dry and NS Supremes. They generally work for me without leaks.

 

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I feel your pain. I too go through severe bouts of depression. But I just look aroubd and discover how so many more people have it far worse than I do .Its then that I realize we are all suffering to some degree. We must be strong for each other. I dare not leave my home and yet you go to work. How I envy you You will be fine my friend. Yes it is dehumanizing. But look how much better off you are to others. Build on that. You have youth on your side. Carry a positive attitude and how you're going to beat this thing. I have full confidence in you that you will overcome this scurge.

Wow. I never thought about like that. I'm sorry you don't get out much...is it BECAUSE of your IC?

 

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I agree with 1reginald57! We all have our crosses to bear. I know it’s tough to do, but try to avoid seeing yourself as broken. I have no doubt that you have many blessings and gifts. Try to focus on how to best use those gifts each day.
By the way, yours was a very honest post. Thank you for that. Many of us feel as you do from time to time. God bless.

 

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I agree with 1reginald57! We all have our crosses to bear. I know it’s tough to do, but try to avoid seeing yourself as broken. I have no doubt that you have many blessings and gifts. Try to focus on how to best use those gifts each day.
By the way, yours was a very honest post. Thank you for that. Many of us feel as you do from time to time. God bless.

Thanks for your response. Even though I don't post here often, I do try to be honest and open about my issues. That's what I like about this community. It's a safe space.


I DO have a friend who is aware of my issues and that I can talk to a little bit, but for the most part the conversation stays pretty light with him. So having folks like yourselves is truly awesome.

 

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My girlfriend prefers that I wear a diaper to bed after mornings of wet sheets - she’s in the medical field - it is good to have someone that understands - sometimes if I fall asleep on the couch she will put my diaper on and guide me to bed - also for discreetness and porch pirate’s I have my diapers shipped to her work

 

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My girlfriend prefers that I wear a diaper to bed after mornings of wet sheets - she’s in the medical field - it is good to have someone that understands - sometimes if I fall asleep on the couch she will put my diaper on and guide me to bed - also for discreetness and porch pirate’s I have my diapers shipped to her work

That's good to have someone who understands. I dated a guy a while back who was understanding. He never made me feel inadequate or lesser for my bedwetting issues or wearing diapers for it. He never put them on me, I wouldn't allow it, but he sometimes would tell me it was time to put it on. And sometimes in the mornings he would ask me if I was wet...but never in a condescending or degrading way. Always just polite caring.

 

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@Adam86 I know how you feel. I'm just done with disability now - stuck in the house, too ill to work and every day's exactly the same. Feel like my life ended when Long Covid fully developed - I live in constant hope that they will eventually find some treatment solutions but wish I could just hibernate until that happens.

 

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Hang in there, friends! We are all plugging along and fighting our battles. You all inspire me!

 

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@Adam86 so how did the presentation go? Bet you did an awesome job.

 

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We're all coming from different places here but, for me, it's a tremendous relief. Before my prostatectomy I remember driving to the ER (twice) in the middle of the night, running red lights all along the way in the worst pain of my life in order to get catheterized. When retention was my issue, my attitude was always, "Well, it beats the alternative!"

But I was wrong. It is far better to have the ability to pee freely anytime my body requires it. No more pain! No more standing over the toilet bowl willing my bladder to void! Life is beautiful again. This is not something I need to hide and be ashamed of. It's a medical condition that, thankfully, most of us have the resources to treat or at least compensate for.

Ah, but then I am not 35, in the midst of a burgeoning social life and the building of a professional career. So I'm in a very different mental space. Once you hit 60, at least in my experience, you begin to worry less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of them. Hang in there. It gets better.

 

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As someone who is also your age, I feel this down to my core.

 

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Sorry that you are going through a rough patch! But don’t worry, you definitely are not alone in that and you will get through it!

I (like all of us probably) have those same feelings on occasion of feeling so overwhelmed and upset about my bedwetting. Sometimes it doesn’t feel real (even though I’ve dealt with it my entire life). Thankfully I have started to accepted it more and more and it has less control over my life in terms of shaping my mood about it but it still is inevitable and occurs from time to time.

The important thing is to remember that you are not alone and it’s normal to have those feelings. And with time they shall pass! Learning to accept it and realize being a bedwetter doesn’t define me was such a vital step in my own process for accepting it. Hopefully you’ll be able to as well!

How often is it happening for you?