In the moment

[Archives1]

My life has been just straight spiraling lately. Incontinence is only just a small part of it at this point, which says a lot because it has been feeling like it defines my personality.

I’m at a Starbucks right now, and trapped in the corner because my diaper leaked. Just sitting here at a table with wet pants, scared to get up. I’ve had other leaks over the past year, and one really embarrassing one.

I don’t think I can handle the embarrassment right now. Psychologically I’ve lost all my resilience. I hate this. I hate life.

 

[Archives1]

Hey man, I'm really sorry to hear you are going through difficult times. I won't pretend to know what you are going through, but I will say that it will get better and you will be stronger for it. If you are religious like me, know that the Lord sees YOU, He loves YOU, and is there for YOU.

If you are not religious, that's ok too...remember the famed words of Neitzsche "...what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger." -- and know someone far away, who doesn't know you is praying for your comfort and health.

 

[Archives1]

Listen, it’ll be fine. The important thing now is for you to get to a place where you can clean yourself and put on a fresh diaper. Just tell yourself you will never see the other people in Starbucks again. Head straight for the exit, and don’t look at anyone. You’ll be surprised how few people will take any notice of you. In your mind, you have built the accident in something much bigger than it is. Just focus on getting out of there!

 

[Archives1]

Many of us have been in a similar spot. I have had to walk out of an establishment with a very wet but due to a leak. There was no missing it for anyone that would look. At the end of the day, I held my head up, acted normal and just made my exit. I have never had anyone say anything to me about it. Once you are out, you can rest assured that these people will never remember if they see you again, and are probably more embarrassed to ask you about it than you are to deal with it.

 

[Archives1]

You are so intelligent and capable. You need to plan your retreat from Starbucks when you see a good moment.
You can and will provide yourself with a shoulder bag with a change of clothes and a couple underwear . You will wear dark pants.

You are regrouping your resilience.

 

[Archives1]

I have purposefully spilled my drink on myself in similar situations so that it looks like its from the spilled drink and not me.

 

[Archives1]

Ruhappy makes a very good point. On my way to work I leaked all over myself. I pulled into a Walmart parking lot, when I got out the car it was worse than I thought. I walked into Walmart calling myself a dummy for spilling on myself, went over to the Men’s section, bought a pair of jeans and a boxer brief walk in bathroom and changed. I had a pad in my pocket from the car, but no change of clothes. From that day I travel now with a pair of jeans, boxers, diapers and pads. So Buddy you’re not alone. Just be prepared for anything. Others are to busy to notice you. Best I luck to you.

 

[Archives1]

Sorry to hear that. I have incontinence from recent RP. Although not life threatening, it is a condition that is serious mentally. I feel for those that have dealt with this issue for years. God bless you.

 

[Archives1]

@Ruhappy Great idea lol!

 

[Archives1]

I'd wait till the drink has cooled, or warmed up a bit...

 

[Archives1]

@ExploringResources Or, next time, take a jacket and tie it around your waist to hide the wetness for your escape.

 

[Archives1]

You will probably found everyone on this site has “been there, done that”
Leaks are just part of what all of us have to deal with. I try hard to just ignore the issue when it happens. I am really the guilty party most times as I try and get the most out of my diaper. When I’m in that situation I just remind myself to change a little earlier or risk leaking problems. I know it’s easy to hate the situation and get down on yourself, as I’ve certainly been there many times. Choices are few so either stay down or look on the bright side. This condition is only debilitating if we let it. Remember the upside is never having to worry about finding a bathroom!

 

[Archives1]

Try not to let it get to you too much... yesterday I lay down for what I thought would just be a few minutes to put the baby down for a nap and I was not adequately protected, and needless to say, I woke up 2 hours later soaked as well as the bedding. I was very embarrassed and still don't know if my kids saw or not but in the end I have to realize that I couldn't help it, any more than you could. Take courage friend!

 

[Archives1]

@ExploringResources Sorry to hear about your issues the other day. I can relate as I'm finding with disability I have days where I have a run of good luck wheelchair access wise and become pretty upbeat and then I have a run of bad lack and I start to question why I even bother going out.

Leaking in public is always the big anxiety for me as well, hope you've recovered from the ordeal.