I thought I had come to terms

Archives1

Archives1

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I think I am in for more than what I expected, folks. I sat on the edge of my bed to put on an overnight heavy absorption brief last night, and got choked up. I thought, Is this a forever thing??? I am truly prepared for what is coming, if more severe incontinence is coming.” I thought I truly came to terms with wearing brief style diapers. I woke up slightly damp, which means I fully voided but did not overfill the diaper. Both, security and fear are running through my mind right now… I guess I have not come to terms.
 
I think it’s pretty tough to fully “come to terms with” life's significant challenges. This incontinence stuff is a tough one alright. I feel like I've come to terms with it most (not all)of the time. I'm happy to have my faith to lean on. I also try to focus on all the things I CAN do as a healthy 70 year old. That helps. I also remind myself how fortunate I am compared to SO MANY other people in this world. Gratitude for that helps my attitude. Hang in there. Prayers sent.
 
@Mam, I am going on over 20 years now living with this. I no longer say I suffer from, or I am stricken with when talking to doctors and such. I am living with it. That simple adjustment made a difference for me. I control it now. With that said, there are always days of down. This morning I awoke to a soaked bed. The wife and I had a bit to drink and I put on a heavy diaper before bed. However, it seems I managed to wet it enough and with lying on my stomach I had press out. I wanted so badly to sleep in with her and just enjoy the morning. Instead I find myself having to get up and address the problem. I cannot just go lay back down with her. When she gets up I will do a load of laundry and move on. I totally understand what you are saying and I would think we all get those moments. Hold you head up and tomorrow will be a new day. It is just underwear!
 
Incontinence is a tough thing to come to grips with. I am 64 and wear diapers to bed every night. Most days I leak so I wear a diaper too. I can’t use pull-ups because I had my right leg amputated and it is just to hard to change them. I enjoy life and I am a very active guy, but I still feel like a 2 year old because I can’t control my wetting. Hang in there guy, life is good regardless of our trials. Many people are in our same boat and we all need to stick together. I give this site two thumbs up for giving us a place to meet others with the same condition.
 
I’m a competitive US Masters swimmer, and it was very common for me to wear a brief style swim suit (“Speedo”) until all of this hit me out of the blue, so I am now wearing a trainer (what swimmers call a “drag suit”) because of the discomfort of the compression a swim brief creates - peeing in the pool is likely due to the compression, so that is why I use a trainer). This is affecting many aspects of my life.

Thanks for the support, fellows!
 
When I came to this forum last January of 2022 I was very nearly so depressed that I did not want to live anymore. I am 64 and thought screw it, if this all that's left for me....then I'm done. But I have a terrific wife and this forum that helped me out greatly. After five months I just hated my doctor and just wanted all what I felt were lies being told to me to stop. Everyone saying " hang in there it's a long recovery. Bullsh-t!!
Well now I am into my eight month and am wearing only a pad inside my briefs. I leak only when I strain at picking something up. And that leak is very little. So all I can say to all who are suffering is just hang in there....things will get better....don't ever give up and keep doing those kagels....especially while walking. God bless all who helped me and God bless all who remain hopeless. It will get better....believe me. Be patient....and stay on this forum, the people here are the best.
 
@1reginald57 Thanks for the blunt honesty and words of wisdom. I trust that it will get better, but sudden out of the blue onset things are something I don’t handle well. This forum has been a blessing for sure, and I am glad it popped up when doing a web search for incontinence issues.
 
I have been dependant on nappies for 10 years now. I have certainly ajusted to my incontinence and don't worry about it at all. It is what it is. I wet heavily at night and my nappies do leak but the bed is well protected.
I think accepting it and getting on with life as my wife told me to do was the right way forward.
 
It’s ok I have been in diapers for years. It did take a long time for me to come to terms with wearing them. It was not easy I’m in them all day and night. Within the passed two years I’m finally ok with it. I have learned most people don’t even notice it. I do try new treatments when the doctor recommended them but for now it’s one day at a time I can use the diapers it really does not bother me
 
I think coming to terms is a process and it's normal to still have bad days. I'm feeling much better about disability now but I still have some dark nights of the soul as it were.
 
As I am still coming to terms, I have been trying to learn when my diaper/brief is maxed. I finally understand that once urine enters past the inner lining of the diaper, the material immediately becomes a gel substance. I had been told that after the diaper becomes heavy, it is at capacity; when other customer representatives told me that I could get two 8 ounce voids no matter what. I guess this is a trial and error situation, but I am wondering if anyone has been able to truly get 34 ounces into an overnight ultimate diaper, because I definitely not getting anywhere near that based upon how much liquids I am taking in. I feel like I am wasting briefs because of this; which is part of why I am having a hard time coming to terms…
 
@MAM if I can ask what brand diapers are you wearing? I have tried many to find what works for me was not easy
 
@Jayindiapers
I typically use Depend pull-ups for the daytime, except for when I know I will be out in public for extended periods of time and I don’t bring along an extra diaper. In that case, I use one of my overnight absorption brief style diapers by Tranquillity. These are the most accessible brands/styles that I can find in my size. Both companies’ Representatives say 8 hours of wear or the max of 34 ounces. I go past 8 hours when I have not voided much, but when I void twice while awake I change. I just think I am wasting money if the diaper is not maxed.
 
I use Tranquility All-through-the night diapers. I use them during the day and at night. I am by their standards a Large but they leak, so I use the X-Large. They don’t seem to leak as bad. I can’t wear the pull-ups because I have an artificial leg and it is to hard to change them. A regular diaper works best. I have my bad days still after many years in diapers, but I keep telling myself it could be worse. My wife is also very understanding and helps me cope. Just try to keep in mind how truly great life is. Thank all of you who help everyone on this site.
 
@1reginald57 You sound like you have a good attitude. I am 69 and have had babies so I guess my bladder of iron that served me well is gone. I wear night time Depends all the time which really aren't that great. But everything is getting so expensive Re the kegels. Everyone! always say that they work or at least help. I swear I have tried. They don't do a thing... big sigh 😕
 
@Jayindiapers Always? No judgment here, just clarifying… Does the manufacturer of Always make a men’s product? Or is it that the design works better for you? No shame in using what works…
 
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