help boyfriend who wets bed?

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hello! i’ve been with my boyfriend who i adore for almost 3 years now. he wets the bed, which is no big deal. one of us wakes the other, and we clean up together. he told me this has been going on since he was a kid. we’ve been sharing a bed at night for ages, but lately, it’s been getting really bad. almost every night we need to change the bedding. of course i don’t mind helping him! but i’m worried this could be a sign of something bigger. when i try to talk to him about seeing a doctor he kind of brushes it off. i love him dearly and just wanna help him be his happiest and healthiest self. how can i talk to him about seeing a doctor? i know the basics; don’t make a big deal, don’t make it like embarrassing or anything. but how can i explain (without trying to worry him) that this could maybe be caused by an underlying issue? thanks so much for reading!!! <3bold text

 

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Get him some Depends Underwear to wear at night until he sees a doctor. You won't have a wet bed, just his wet Depends. I had the same problem and my wife did that for me.

 

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Strawberry, believe me, accepting him is a huge thing you do. I appreciate that you’re worried about his health, but I just wanted to let you know how amazing it is that it’s just “not a big deal” to you.

You might consider using a pad on the bed so that you don’t have to change the bedding. That can’t be good for your sleep!

I would also suggest that you (or the two of you or he) could keep a voiding diary. First of all, you might notice a pattern that would put your mind at ease. Is there more alcohol? More soda? More coffee? More stress? Even if you don’t find a pattern, if he sees a doctor, the doctor will want that information anyway.

He could be burned out from seeing doctors who have had no answers and been no help. Then again, there could be all kinds of changes in medicine that could help him, depending on when he last saw a doctor.

Ok. As a “girl”, those are my best ideas. The guys will jump in with ideas from their perspective. In the meantime, good on you for being loving and accepting!

 

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How old is your boyfriend. I wet the bed until my early 20's and no reason was ever found, despite many Doctors visits. My bedwetting now is caused by diabetic neuropathy affecting the nerves around my bladder but that is a different story. As a kid, teenage and young adult I just wet the bed most if not every night and then it just stopped all of a sudden. You are amazing that you accept his bedwetting as no big deal.

 

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Maybe you can get him to read this site. He is obviously embarrassed about his condition which is why he won't see a doctor. Having his condition is not an issue - the fact that it is getting worse means he should see a doctor. You are right! Once he sees there are many others with his condition maybe he will get the confidence to see a doctor. Good luck, he is one lucky person to have a significant other like you!

 

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I agree, lucky guy to have you as a girlfriend. And I agree with @stuart that having him check out this site may be most appropriate. He will see that others live with his same condition and there are many tips on what to do and how to manage the issue. In other words he will see he isn't alone and he will get encouragement to see the doctor. So please head him over to the forum which I think will be a good start!

 

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I agree with everyone above. How lucky your boyfriend is to have you in his life- great job of being truly open, non judgemental and just solid support Strawberryparfait to your significant other.

I guess the only other thing I would add is doctors have heard it all and don’t be shy or awkward about raising issues with your doctor. They are in your life to help you.

It’s just a good idea to get checked out just to be sure this isn’t a sign of a more serious medical problem which hopefully for his sake it isn’t but better to check that out sooner than later just to be safe.

Cheers

Jason

 

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I would just approach him about wearing diapers to bed. I’m a female in my early 30’s and I wet the bed weekly until recently. My boyfriend approached it in a very nice way and asked me to try wearing them to bed. I was wearing pull ups at the time but still had leaks and it was disruptive to him. Once things kicked up from weekly to 3-4 times a week he asked me again and had gotten some samples for me. He did it in a very polite way and I didn’t feel pressured. I’m still uncomfortable wearing them to bed and adjusting to that. But it’s only been a week of me wearing diapers. However both of our nights go a lot smoother. Less laundry and more sleep. I see that I need them. My boyfriend tells me if I don’t want to wear them I don’t have to. I think the biggest thing you can do is be supportive which you already are. Don’t push it. It probably took me a month to come around to wearing them and a doctor telling me to wear them as well. I was also in denial about how often I wet the bed.

It’s very hard to admit that you need diapers. If my boyfriend wasn’t supportive in this there would be no way I would be wearing them. Like I said it’s only been a week and I still hate it but I know I need them now. Still in denial but I didn’t realize how sleep deprived I was. It’s a lot easier to go change in the middle of the night than it is to get up and change sheets or pads or whatever else. I’m hoping it will get easier to wear them at night and get used to sleeping in them. Good luck to the both of you. Your boyfriend is lucky to have you!

 

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I would just approach him about wearing diapers to bed. I’m a female in my early 30’s and I wet the bed weekly until recently. My boyfriend approached it in a very nice way and asked me to try wearing them to bed. I was wearing pull ups at the time but still had leaks and it was disruptive to him. Once things kicked up from weekly to 3-4 times a week he asked me again and had gotten some samples for me. He did it in a very polite way and I didn’t feel pressured. I’m still uncomfortable wearing them to bed and adjusting to that. But it’s only been a week of me wearing diapers. However both of our nights go a lot smoother. Less laundry and more sleep. I see that I need them. My boyfriend tells me if I don’t want to wear them I don’t have to. I think the biggest thing you can do is be supportive which you already are. Don’t push it. It probably took me a month to come around to wearing them and a doctor telling me to wear them as well. I was also in denial about how often I wet the bed.

It’s very hard to admit that you need diapers. If my boyfriend wasn’t supportive in this there would be no way I would be wearing them. Like I said it’s only been a week and I still hate it but I know I need them now. Still in denial but I didn’t realize how sleep deprived I was. It’s a lot easier to go change in the middle of the night than it is to get up and change sheets or pads or whatever else. I’m hoping it will get easier to wear them at night and get used to sleeping in them. Good luck to the both of you. Your boyfriend is lucky to have you!

 

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Kylbern,
You will get used to wearing diapers. Make sure you're wearing enough protection so that you don't leak, AND that they feel comfortable. After a while, you'll feel naked without them.

We all went through the issue of first of all admitting to ourselves that we are bed wetters, then getting comfortable wearing diapers, especially in front of a significant other.

When I get ready for bed, the extra step of putting on a bed wetting diaper is the most natural thing in the world now!

I wish you the best!

 

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I have this issue now that I am incontinent and I was really embarassed about it at first but then my wife started diapering me herself out of the blue at bedtime and making sure I have clean bed pads and it doesn't bother her a bit. You are a great person for helping him with a condition he can't help. There are few out there like you and I commend you for it. It's important to let him know that you don't care he wets the bed and that you really want to help and if it takes YOU buying what he needs like diapers or pads and making him feel like it really is no big deal, then that might be what you have to do so that you yourself can get some much needed rest.

 

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I'm curious if you talked with him how it went? There are many guys who wear diapers to bed. It's just not something people talk about.

 

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I agree with @silk45. There are lots of guys who have issues, and who tackle them with protective products like diapers, pads, pull-ups. It’s just that no one is willing to admit it. It’s a Catch-22 situation. People are embarrassed to talk about it, yet the only way to break the stigma is t talk about it. In the meanwhile, make sure you protect your mattress, since that can be expensive to replace,

 

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I think we (the folks wearing diapers) tend to make a bigger deal out of it than it is. It did take me a long period of time to make peace and stop being embarrassed about it in front of my wife. When I did, I discovered that she really didn't care and a diapered husband was just normal for her for quite some time.

I believe that generally most other people don't care either. Some folks might make a comment, but are generally too busy with their day to day lives that an adult wearing diapers just doesn't matter much.

Anyway, I'm late, but I'm a +1 for the guy's group. It's just a thing, and personally I there's actually some kind of comfort of knowing that I'm doing what I can by wearing protection. I suppose it's like taking control from losing control.