Hard Decisions

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Hello I am new to this blog but not new to urinary and fecal incontinence as well as cervical prolapse and general pelvic floor dysfunction. My 1st child was born in 2002 and second in 2004. I had small tears and a small episiotomy but other that that, they were normal vaginal births. As I expected I had stress urinary incontinence but didn't think anything of it.

I was a busy mom of two small children so I am not sure when all the other issues started. The first issue that bothered me enough to seek help was pelvic pain while menstruating. My gynecologist explained that I was suffering from cervical prolapse and in 2008 we scheduled a hysterectomy.

Since I was in my early 20's I have suffered from IBS due to stress and anxiety so I have always have had issues with diarrhea. The fact that I was leaking some when my bowels where loose didn't alarm me too much but I did seek help to decrease the diarrhea. The leakage turned into urgency fecal incontinence and I found a colorectal surgeon that through she could help. Come to find out, I had a 30% tear in my external sphincter. In 2013, my Interstim was implanted and gave me about a 50% relief at first.

In 2014, my fecal incontinence started getting worse, I thought it was due to the stress I was under going through a divorce. Then in 2015 a new symptom started, fecal incontinence during sex. If you thing that having a full bowel movement in public is horrendous, imagine dating for the 1st time after 20 years and becoming incontinent during intimacy. I immediately went to my gynecologist, (my colorectal surgeon was now out of network) who determined that my vaginal/rectal wall was extremely thin causing rectal prolapse. The feces would collect in the prolapse and was being pushed out during sex. I had vaginal reconstructive surgery to build up the wall. This surgery did not help at all. My boyfriend (now husband) was wonderful and we have found what works for us.

The incontinence has continued to get worse. I found a new colorectal surgeon, who suggested pelvic floor physical therapy. I have very little muscle function and am unable to Kegel. The exercises and biofeedback used in PT did not help. In 3 weeks I will be going back to my surgeon. The next step is another ultrasound and pudendal nerve test. Then my options are sphicteroplasty, stoma or continue to live in diapers and fear of people knowing that I have had an accident. Sphincteroplasty is basically out since I hear that the success is short lived and if I fail the pudendal nerve test, it will not help anyway.

I need input from others who know what I live with everyday. Your comments are requested.

 

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Do what is comfortable for you.

 

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I dont know what to say except to applaud you for your fortitude and courage in moving on in your life in all arenas. Great regard.

 

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I would say do what is best for you

 

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I have the same conditions though I'm male. I have very little muscle function left and do experience both urinary and fecal incontinence. These are conditions I'm living with. At home I manage to get to the bathroom fairly on time and since i get up an hour and a half ahead of the rest of my family they are not aware of the severity of my issues. Maybe it's wrong to try and hide it, but I do. For reasons I do not understand I don't have instances of incontinence while lying down. I sleep without protection. I do need to rush once I get up but a handful of paper towel is all that's needed.

The worst part is that most of the time I can't have a bowel movement before I leave for work. Just doesn't happen. That means that most of the time it happens on my way to work - both fecal and urinary. This may seem like a nightmare, but it's one I've learned to manage fairly well considering.

I know odor is the worst part of being on public transportation so when present, I usually am able to stay out of the way and avoid others catching the worst of it. I know when its ok to board a train. My protective underwear does what it needs to and minimizes odor. I don't have leaks.

There's nothing nice about it happening or cleanup once I get to work, but honestly, I am really afraid of surgery. I've been told there is a good chance that it won't work, so even with hearing about many successes, I still won't do it myself.

At this point, I've become accustomed to what goes on with me and how to handle it. My family does see the supplies I order. We just don't talk about it. As for people out in public, yeah, on occasion I have gotten some bothered comments and looks, but I've also learned to make being noticed a less common thing.

I've been incontinent for about 7 years. I'm in my 60s. I don't have fecal muscle control and hardly any for urinary. I don't think exercise can help and just don't want to do surgery.

You are very fortunate to have a spouse who is aware and supportive. I do believe there are precautions you can take to make the incontinence be not present during intimate times. And it can become more manageable.

If you decide to go with surgery I do wish you the best. I believe it can work. If you have any questions please feel free to let me know.
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