Girlfriend of an occasional bed wetter

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Hi there! My boyfriend (32 yrs old) recently told me that from time to time he wets the bed. Especially when he is under a lot of pressure at work. It was such a hard thing for him to talk about and I'm so very thankful for his openness! He has so much shame about it and I want to be able to help him as best I can to find peace.

Are there any actions your partners have done to help you feel more at easy and less embarrassed? No one should live with shame from something out of their control!

Any tips would be much appreciated

 

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There is evidence that the same ligament structures which control bedwetting in women may also work in men

Suggest squatting based exercises, preferable with weights at a gym to strengthen the muscles and ligaments. Other exercises are such as abdo crunches sitting on a rubber fitful instead of a chair are described in the book "Unlocking the Female Pelvic Floor" $8 or$9 Amazon.com

Let us know how he gets on.

 

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Im the exact same boat. My boyfriend is a bed wetter and he lied about it for awhile and finally told me and had a hard time. He got angry alot if i tried to bring it up in anyway no matter how supportive but honestly its been up to him on what he allowd and what will help him feel more comfortable. It depends on him...he may be uncomfortable with u trying to help clean up or talk about it or try to prevent. I just sat down with him and told him that we were a team...that gis problems were my problems and i didnt think any less of him and wanted to help anyway i could and now we can joke about it to alleviate the embarasment and we have a routine that helps.

 

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The male ego can be fragile. When it is threatened by incontinence, stand aside. The medical exams alone can be painful, embarrassing, and they may be just the beginning. If the doctors can cure it, wonderful; the embarrassment and aggravation will have paid off. However, if this promises to be long-term, or if it is incurable and thus must be managed, brace yourself for an extended period of trial and error, sometimes more error than success. Support in this situation can mean many things which may seem incompatible at first, but keep trying. Good luck.

 

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One of the main, but not only, reasons I am still single, just can't imagine any woman wanting to be with a guy that has to resort to a diaper for his issue, or a catheter. May be a shallow way to think, but have seen more "spouse left me" stories then support, so I applaud you for trying to be there for him, and yes, it is really hard for a male to deal with this, take it from one who knows.

 

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One of the main, but not only, reasons I am still single, just can't imagine any woman wanting to be with a guy that has to resort to a diaper for his issue, or a catheter. May be a shallow way to think, but have seen more "spouse left me" stories then support, so I applaud you for trying to be there for him, and yes, it is really hard for a male to deal with this, take it from one who knows.

@Skinnyb

I am so sad to hear this. There are so many awful things couples have to deal with, for me, this is not a problem at all! I just want to help take away the shame he feels and for him to know I hold no judgement. Having him share something so personal made me feel special, actually. I know many other women will feel the same. You will find one

 

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Skinnyb im also sorry to hear that....in sure its an issue for alot of couples but i hope you can get some comfort in knowing that there are women (myself and picturesound included) that really dont mind. The inly thig ive ever gotten frustrated about has never been the wetting its inly been his reaction to it and not letting it be both of our problems and not just his. I cant imagine ehat its like for you guys to go through it but im just happy to be suportive and make him feel like its okay and i genuinely dont mind...i hope you picturesound can get through to your boyfriend so he can feel better about it and skinnyb i hope you can find it in you to allow someone in your life that could be suportive too

 

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Time will tell, have yet to find one, but am optimistic and I know there are women out there with the attitude you both have, after all, this does not define who you are as a person, you just have different "underwear"! ;-)

 

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I know what that can be like, I have persistent accidents at night al be it infrequent it is often embarresing and upsetting. With my first girlfriend when I was 19 I did not deal with it and was in denial for a long time. Lately (I'm 29) I bring it up early in the relationship and get it out of the way. Most adults are very understanding when the know it's not something I have control over. I always put protection on the bed and if staying somewhere other than home wear a disposable as well. It is as big of a deal as you make it, but I went through a lot of pain before I came to that philosophy. These things don't define me and I don't think of myself any less. If you do that no one else will either

 

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My goal is to keep myself as clean and the bed as dry as possible. I work to minimize my imposition on my wife and family. The need for support and understanding is understandable; however, if it is used too much or too often, we soon wear out our welcome, even with loved ones.

 

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One of the main, but not only, reasons I am still single, just can't imagine any woman wanting to be with a guy that has to resort to a diaper for his issue, or a catheter. May be a shallow way to think, but have seen more "spouse left me" stories then support, so I applaud you for trying to be there for him, and yes, it is really hard for a male to deal with this, take it from one who knows.

I can vouch for there being women that won't leave you for wetting the bed. My wife being one. It doesn't bother her. She's very understanding.