Don't have any suggestions - as far as the medical profession, anyway - but can recommend a product called "Butterfly". There is an imitator i tried (Amazon seller) that wasn't near as good. It has to be applied properly. The only difference between the men's and woman's is the color of the box. It is hard to find retail brick-and-morter. You may have luck with that in a big city. CVS on-line has it, although it is the devil to find on their website. If they give you the out-of-stock routine, call them, ask for the other sex product. You avoid shipping cost by ordering over $50.00, or singing up for auto delivery, but you will want to try it out, first. There may be other on-line retailers.
It is the least bulky of any incontinence - not visible under clothes - and silent. Takes a couple of weeks to get used to. On-line comment seems to agree.
Other than that, all i can offer is (1) see what a doctor says. I haven't bothered, as mine is as as little as yours, but maybe my on-line research 3 -4 years ago is out of date. (2) You aren't alone. Good luck.